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Subject: I'm so scared right now rss

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Carl Frodge
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Okay, so here's the deal. My parents have been wanting to get an RV and travel the country for a little while now, and I've been living with them for now. I've been trying to find work, and it's been quite difficult lately, and every interview I've had has ended up leaving me jobless (even I feel like I did a good job with the interview).

So fast forward to now, the house is sold, and we have to be out in two weeks. I still don't have a job, although I had an interview today that I feel went fairly well, and I have my fingers crossed. And another interview lined up for some time next week.

If I don't get these jobs, I have no idea what I'm going to do or what's gonna happen. My parents are gonna stay here for a little bit, maybe a month (living in their RV at a park or something), and I guess I can stay with them for a little bit, but I really don't want to hold them back from living their dream.

I have friends who I might be able to stay with for a little while, but I don't want to feel like an inconvenience, especially if I don't have a job.

And here's the kicker, my best friend is getting married at the end of October and I'm supposed to be the best man, but because of all this stuff going on, I don't know if I'll be able to make it.

I'm just really scared right now. I want to hope everything will work out, but I don't know. I've never been so unsure of what's gonna happen.
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You can only do so much in each day. Commit to a good portion of each day for job hunting. That's priority one.

I recall stressful times when I was moving and changing jobs. Somehow we find our ways through it. Have some confidence.

Good luck.

P.S. I'll say an extra prayer for you, Carl.
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Edward Sexby
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Sorry to hear about your situation, mate - hang in there. I can't offer much practical assistance...sorry! Every time I try to type anything here, it just seems to come out as platitudes. Umm...try to take things one at a time, hopefully that will reduce stress, and let you get on.

I feel for you, and hope everything works out. Keep us posted.
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Gary Selkirk
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I can only ask: How old are you? Get a grip. Stop relying on your parents. There must be work somewhere. Hello. Time to leave the nest. Best of luck.

In reality, it must be a tough thing. I don't seem to exude a lot of sympathy, I suppose, mainly because I started with nothing. Was never given anything nor asked. However, I met a girl, we married. Our wedding cash was $80 with 7 casserole dishes from others.
We've been happily married 43 years. I started working in a factory in Feb. 1974 and have been there ever since. I'll retire on 1 June 2017 having never had to look for work since 1974, never collected unemployment insurance, never given anything I didn't work for and no prospect of some deceased family member leaving me anything. I mean, Good luck, but put your beat foot forward, take what you get and go with it.
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Rob
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agentkuo wrote:
And here's the kicker, my best friend is getting married at the end of October and I'm supposed to be the best man, but because of all this stuff going on, I don't know if I'll be able to make it.


Being Best Man is a serious responsibility. If you don't think you can perform that role, let your friend know NOW. He needs time to prepare for his wedding.
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Dwayne Hendrickson
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I've lost a ton of jobs and had to look a LOT for new jobs

#1 If you don't have a job, your current job is to get a NEW job. You should be spending 8 hrs a day doing that. EIGHT HOURS A DAY!
#2 Call everyone you know, every one, and ask them if they know of anyone that is hiring or needing help. Get the names and numbers of those people and call them, saying that your friend referred you. If they have nothing, ask if THEY know of anyone. This is called networking. It is a huge part of #1.
#3 Get a resume together. One page, very nice paper. It should list things that you have done that are quantifiable (Reduced waste by 27% utilizing new technique in cardboard crushing)
#4 Your current job is getting a NEW job. You are now working 8 hours a day on THAT. EIGHT HOURS A DAY!

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Robert Wesley
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Make your 'appeal' within there for better "BEST regards" then: BGG Community whistle
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1 Lucky Texan
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try to get interviews - don't just send resumes.

sell yourself face-to-face if at all possible.

investigate temp services. many companies hire from temp agencies, then pick-and-choose the best workers to offer employment to.


good luck
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Carl Frodge
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Thanks for the tip,
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John Breckenridge
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Somewhere near you there's a place where day laborers stand around to get taken on jobs that pay under the table. Go there. Then when you know you've got a fallback way to make a few bucks, it will make the job hunt a little less stressful.

Or if you don't mind not getting any money, find somewhere to volunteer so you can keep busy between job prospects. You can put it on your resume, and maybe get some good references.

Go stay with your friends. And then do every chore around their house that you feel competent enough to do, and chip in for groceries what you can. When you finally do land that job (and you will) and get settled, pay them back somehow. Maybe it's a thank you card with cash in it, maybe it's a gift card to their favorite restaurant, maybe it's a muffin basket - you'll know what seems right for them.

Figure out how much debt you'd need to take on to do a good job Best Manning and if that feels like too much to you, tell the groom to find a different guy. If he's really the kind of guy that wants you in his wedding, he'll understand.
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Jonny Lawless
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Only formerly unemployed people will get this.
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Billy McBoatface
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jonnylawless wrote:
Only formerly unemployed people will get this.

We are all born unemployed.
Unemployment is man's natural state.

...or, one of my favorite quotes about unemployment...

You're young and you've got your health, what do you want with a job?
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Chapel
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Joe Deschenes
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okiedokie wrote:
I've lost a ton of jobs and had to look a LOT for new jobs

#1 If you don't have a job, your current job is to get a NEW job. You should be spending 8 hrs a day doing that. EIGHT HOURS A DAY!
#2 Call everyone you know, every one, and ask them if they know of anyone that is hiring or needing help. Get the names and numbers of those people and call them, saying that your friend referred you. If they have nothing, ask if THEY know of anyone. This is called networking. It is a huge part of #1.
#3 Get a resume together. One page, very nice paper. It should list things that you have done that are quantifiable (Reduced waste by 27% utilizing new technique in cardboard crushing)
#4 Your current job is getting a NEW job. You are now working 8 hours a day on THAT. EIGHT HOURS A DAY!



Have to second this too. Print off dozens of resumes and spend your day handing these out in person. Door to door to any potential workplace you would qualify for. The worse thing they will do is refuse it and say they aren't looking to hire, most of them will keep a copy in case a position opens up. I have done this at 3 different points in my life, and each time I landed a job within the week. You would be surprised how many jobs are waiting to be found with this tactic. I have walked into offices who decided to hire me EVEN when they weren't hiring simply due to my qualifications.

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Randy Russell
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I kind of know how you feel, even if I have a job now, there was a time where I was searching for one when I just graduated from college.
I struggled at first to find a job, but when I least expected (Precisely after an interview similar to yours that went fairly well) I had it.
I got a job!
The point is that, it may not look like it, and it may sound too cliché, but good things can really happen when you least expect it, don't surrender. Keep going.
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Chris
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Carl ...

Few thoughts for you (and I'll ask a few questions - you can PM me if you want)

First things first -- did you land a job yet? Did you hear back from the good interview you had?

If you didn't?

1. How old are you?
2. What is your field?

If you want -- shoot me your resume. I'm not a career coach, per se; but for whatever reason, in the past three years, I've rewritten a ton of resumes (and LinkedIn profiles) - and 27 people have landed jobs (some would say *because* of the help I provided).

The most important advice (besides the great stuff people listed here already) is that it's incredibly important to stay positive. It's hard - certainly. But, if you spend your days fretting and wallowing, it WILL show in the interview (even if you think you're hiding it well), and that will outweigh anything you bring to the table :/

Good luck!

Chris
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Carl Frodge
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Lemur wrote:
Carl ...

Few thoughts for you (and I'll ask a few questions - you can PM me if you want)

First things first -- did you land a job yet? Did you hear back from the good interview you had?

I did not find a job yet, but I've been selling furniture and stuff to make some money in the mean time. I have an interview on Monday with the company, but there are still things that could go wrong, even if I get the job (if it doesn't have benefits, for one, which is very important right now).

Quote:
If you didn't?

1. How old are you?

23
Quote:
2. What is your field?

Graphic Design.

Quote:
If you want -- shoot me your resume. I'm not a career coach, per se; but for whatever reason, in the past three years, I've rewritten a ton of resumes (and LinkedIn profiles) - and 27 people have landed jobs (some would say *because* of the help I provided).

My resume is good. I'm not bragging, I'm not being pretentious. I've worked hard on getting it where it is. I've gotten feedback and revised it a number of times. I know where it needs to be and what it needs to look like.

Quote:
The most important advice (besides the great stuff people listed here already) is that it's incredibly important to stay positive. It's hard - certainly. But, if you spend your days fretting and wallowing, it WILL show in the interview (even if you think you're hiding it well), and that will outweigh anything you bring to the table :/

Yeah, I'm not as scared as I was when I wrote the OP. I'm trying not to worry too much, and I'm just gonna kinda see what happens.

Quote:
Good luck!

Thanks.

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Chris Knight
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agentkuo wrote:

Yeah, I'm not as scared as I was when I wrote the OP. I'm trying not to worry too much, and I'm just gonna kinda see what happens.


Glad to hear you're feeling better about things, and just taking it as it comes. It'll all work out, one way or another.
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jeff
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I'm a strong believer in fate and that sometimes the difficult crap we go though happens for a reason and we do not realize it until many years later, during reflection. I'm gonna take a complete opposite approach to things here, than everyone else, and say maybe your not supposed to find a job right now.

Is there something barring the way from you doing some traveling with your parents?

Maybe you have been given the opportunity to see the country and do it spending quality time with family that you will look fondly back on in the distant future. You could not do that if you were employed. You have your whole life ahead of you to spend at work, maybe go enjoy a few months with them now, before they are no longer around.

Is it possible to take a few months to just go with them and enjoy life for a bit?

Maybe your dream job is in another state that you never considered nor have ever visited. When I was younger cooking for a business class hotel I was given the opportunity to go work in Germany at a newly opened hotel from the same company... I didn't do it and I regret it often, no telling how my life could have turned out different...better or worse. Maybe there is a whole new awesome life just waiting for you out there for you to find it.

My general philosophy now is to go with the flow of life, when ever I fight the current it goes poorly. I roll with the punches and deal with what is thrown at me at the time. Generally I know (though experience) when something doesn't quite feel right trust my instincts..maybe your fighting the current?

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Carl Frodge
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When I wrote the OP, I had about $20 in my bank account. My parents have allowed me to sell the furniture and things left in the house to make extra cash as a cushion for the time being, so now I've got a decent amount ($2000+), and more coming in fairly regularly. It won't last forever, but it's something for now. And it's partly why I'm feeling a little less scared.

AvidHunter wrote:
I'm a strong believer in fate and that sometimes the difficult crap we go though happens for a reason and we do not realize it until many years later, during reflection. I'm gonna take a complete opposite approach to things here, than everyone else, and say maybe your not supposed to find a job right now.

Honestly, I've considered this. Maybe there's something else that's supposed to happen. Maybe it's just not time yet. My mom is a Christian and thinks God has a plan, and that ultimately it's in his hands. I don't believe in God, but the idea is comforting.

Quote:
Is there something barring the way from you doing some traveling with your parents?

Well, no, not necessarily. The biggest issue is that I won't have insurance, so if something bad happened to me, that would be a tough situation.

Quote:
Maybe you have been given the opportunity to see the country and do it spending quality time with family that you will look fondly back on in the distant future. You could not do that if you were employed. You have your whole life ahead of you to spend at work, maybe go enjoy a few months with them now, before they are no longer around.

I really like this outlook. I would love to travel the country with them, but I don't know if I can. I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to that though. And it would give me time to work on my skills as a graphic designer, and develop new skills I'm interested in learning, like Animation, programming, web design, and others. I definitely wouldn't be opposed to this idea, I just don't know if I am allowed, essentially.

Quote:
Is it possible to take a few months to just go with them and enjoy life for a bit?

I don't know, I'll find out. I know their plan is to travel to Arizona first, and spend Christmas with my sister (she's in Tuscon), and it's definitely a possibility that I would go with them out there.

Quote:
Maybe your dream job is in another state that you never considered nor have ever visited. When I was younger cooking for a business class hotel I was given the opportunity to go work in Germany at a newly opened hotel from the same company... I didn't do it and I regret it often, no telling how my life could have turned out different...better or worse. Maybe there is a whole new awesome life just waiting for you out there for you to find it.

I hope so. And I honestly really appreciate you saying this, because I've thought it, I just didn't and don't know if it's actually possible.

Quote:
My general philosophy now is to go with the flow of life, when ever I fight the current it goes poorly. I roll with the punches and deal with what is thrown at me at the time. Generally I know (though experience) when something doesn't quite feel right trust my instincts..maybe your fighting the current?

Could be. I've had a number of, what seemed like promising, job opportunities fail already, and, like you said, maybe there's a reason for that, maybe it's just not time yet.

Thank you for this.
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jeff
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agentkuo wrote:


Quote:
Maybe you have been given the opportunity to see the country and do it spending quality time with family that you will look fondly back on in the distant future. You could not do that if you were employed. You have your whole life ahead of you to spend at work, maybe go enjoy a few months with them now, before they are no longer around.

I really like this outlook. I would love to travel the country with them, but I don't know if I can. I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to that though. And it would give me time to work on my skills as a graphic designer, and develop new skills I'm interested in learning, like Animation, programming, web design, and others. I definitely wouldn't be opposed to this idea, I just don't know if I am allowed, essentially.



That sounds brilliant and honestly makes me a little jealous...

I don't know if it helps too but...

When I was 23 I got burned out on my pursuit of a culinary career and getting a chef certification. Life was completely miserable. I sat down with my father (who I never really had a close relationship with) and told him I can't bare to keep doing it, it's making me ill and killing me. I was in major debt and had no way out. After a long discussion he helped me consolidate my debt and supported me so that I could take some time off and evaluate what it was I wanted to do.

I took 6 months off and had the best summer of my life. I made some great friends (I still have a couple 20 years later), fell in love (a relationship that lasted 8 awesome years) and had experiences that made me the person who I am today. I never regretted it. Now I'm 42 with a professional accounting career, have a college education, a house and a wife who is studying to be a Nurse Practitioner at North Eastern Univ. to further her career... In the long run it all worked out.

Now I just need to find a way to retire early...
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Carl Frodge
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AvidHunter wrote:
agentkuo wrote:


Quote:
Maybe you have been given the opportunity to see the country and do it spending quality time with family that you will look fondly back on in the distant future. You could not do that if you were employed. You have your whole life ahead of you to spend at work, maybe go enjoy a few months with them now, before they are no longer around.

I really like this outlook. I would love to travel the country with them, but I don't know if I can. I wouldn't necessarily be opposed to that though. And it would give me time to work on my skills as a graphic designer, and develop new skills I'm interested in learning, like Animation, programming, web design, and others. I definitely wouldn't be opposed to this idea, I just don't know if I am allowed, essentially.



That sounds brilliant and honestly makes me a little jealous...

I don't know if it helps too but...

When I was 23 I got burned out on my pursuit of a culinary career and getting a chef certification. Life was completely miserable. I sat down with my father (who I never really had a close relationship with) and told him I can't bare to keep doing it, it's making me ill and killing me. I was in major debt and had no way out. After a long discussion he helped me consolidate my debt and supported me so that I could take some time off and evaluate what it was I wanted to do.

I took 6 months off and had the best summer of my life. I made some great friends (I still have a couple 20 years later), fell in love (a relationship that lasted 8 awesome years) and had experiences that made me the person who I am today. I never regretted it. Now I'm 42 with a professional accounting career, have a college education, a house and a wife who is studying to be a Nurse Practitioner at North Eastern Univ. to further her career... In the long run it all worked out.

Now I just need to find a way to retire early...

You're really making me feel like it's all gonna be okay. And I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.
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Kyle
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Well Carl, I'm not much older than you (30), but my list of 'jobs' has been prepping camps, groundskeeping, working in a recycling plant, selling knives, working as an apprentice carpenter, moving furniture/changing lights/washing windows, contract research (geotech), working underground (tunneling, field engineer position), and final inspecting construction sites.

There's the thing, I've always been doing SOMETHING to pull in cash, because I had to to get by. I've been staying on my own since 19. Might be time to start looking for any job, opposed to jobs in your field (you might already be doing this, but it isn't exactly clear). Unfortunately, your field is going to be among extremely stiff competition, like all arts oriented fields (hell even Engineering is crammed nowadays).

The boomerang effect is pretty strong nowadays, and we are going through another period of extended adolescence, by and large, and yes it is frightening but you need to step outside your comfort zone and start looking at how to survive, not how to live doing only the ideal. The dream dies, very quickly, regardless. 18 year old me decided to study engineering not music for a reason.

Now, as far as above, I will reiterate, finding a job is your job, it happens for long hours. Network, go to conference/lecture dinners, etc. Talk to people. I have never gotten more interviews than the geotechnical society dinners. Your odds are much better if the person has more connection to you than the interview. Here at least handing out resumes has died (often not even accepted!), but that doesn't stop good networking, there is always a key to the back door.

AS you are getting interviews, I'm guessing the problem is not the resume, but more the interview. Or you could simply be getting outclassed (heck it happens, even when your resume reads the position). That is the nature of high level competition in congested sectors. Good isn't good enough, you need to be the best. Until then, swing a hammer, flip a burger, make sure you are doing something that shows you are taking every step possible to get where you want to be, and no task is below you.
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Honestly, I would have jumped at a chance to get out of Florida when I was 23 years old.

Go for it!
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1 Lucky Texan
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if you're a person of faith, at your church,let everyone possible know you're looking for employment.

Consider volunteering, you might be working alongside someone who could be in a position to hire or recommend you.
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