Van Helsing stood in the mist-shrouded port, stake in one hand, cross in the other, his collar buttoned to below his chin, his eyes fierce. Through the fog, he saw the cape swirl red velvet. He saw the scarlet glow of an eye. And stepping forward, he beheld something the likes of which he would never forget.
"Wh-what... what are you DOING?" Van Helsing gasped.
Vlad Dracula turned before him. His cloak was immaculate, his garb, but for the velvet folds of the cape, pure black. But perched atop his head was a broad, gaudy hat with what seemed to be a cheap white felt skull stitched to it. The Count also had a black construction paper eyepatch over one eye.
"Yarr!" Dracula said proudly, pointing his thumb at his own chest. "I'm a PIRATE! Yarr!"
Van Helsing gaped. "Are you off your nut?" he demanded. "You look like an idiot."
"Yarr!" Dracula said again. "I'm a pirate! Yarr!"
And then, through this mist, he vaulted aboard a parting ship. Van Helsing could hear the timbers creak and a yelp from the vampire as he landed on the deck. "Yarr!" Dracula cried, his voice muffled through the fog and the cries of the gulls. "Runnin' bleedin' water! Yarr! I'm a pirate!"
"Well," Van Helsing said to Mina, as she dashed up to join him, "he's ruddy well done it again. Jumped on another freakin' ship."
"Is he still wearing the eyepatch?" Mina asked.
"Yes," Van Helsing said, kicking at a gull that had landed near his feet. The gull flapped up into the air, squawking belligerently. "He keeps saying 'Yarr!' and it really gets my goat. It's like he doesn't take us seriously."
"That eyepatch really freaks me out," Mina said. "I mean, he can see in the dark and stuff. Why does he need an eyepatch? It must mess up his depth perception. And that hat -- it's like a five-year-old sewed it together. A five-year-old with... with PROBLEMS."
"We'd better catch the next launch," Van Helsing said dejectedly. "Good grief. He grabs a ship, lands somewhere, feeds, runs around the mainland shouting 'I'm a pirate! Yarr!' at some peasants, and then jumps on a boat again. It's really... it really bugs me."
"Well," Mina said, "Lord Goldarnit and Doctor Seward are heading up through Paris to try to cut him off from an entry from the North Sea. We'll get him."
"Seward thinks he's a ninja now," Van Helsing said, studying his fingernails.
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," Mina said.
"No," Van Helsing said. "He's got two knives. He just alternates between them in fights. He calls himself 'Seward, Ninja Doctor.'"
Mina paused and looked out at the misty sea.
"You know," she said, "sometimes, I hate my life."
"Yarr," Van Helsing said.
"What?" Mina gave him a sharp look.
"Yes," Van Helsing said. "I meant yes."
- Last edited Mon Apr 30, 2007 11:55 am (Total Number of Edits: 1)
- Posted Mon Apr 30, 2007 2:04 am
Where were you hiding when the storm broke?
This is just one of my favorite session reports ever I come back and reread it every several months or so, just for laughs!