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Subject: "Nah, I'm out if you guys play *this* game." rss

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mortego
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totally cool with me but I can't bring myself to choose "nothing" over playing a board game.

I have, however, declined an offer to play a board game when i'm either currently PLAYING a board game or already have plans with others to play a different board game but I never chose "playing nothing at all" over playing a board game i may not like.

Have you ever said no to playing a board with the alternative of having nothing else to do?
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Ron
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Yep. Some people wanted to play Munchkin, I told them I'd play something on my phone then. They opted out of Munchkin, but that honestly wasn't what I was aiming at. I'd just rather read some BGG and play some Star Realms on my phone than sit through Munchkin
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Ken Lewis
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I don't game for the sake of gaming. I game because I enjoy playing certain types of games. If I were asked to play a game I know I don't like, I would politely decline and find something else to do.

Plus, I wouldn't be fully vested in a game I don't really like and I don't think that would be fair to the people who truly enjoy the game.
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Chris Willett
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Wormaap wrote:
Yep. Some people wanted to play Munchkin, I told them I'd play something on my phone then. They opted out of Munchkin, but that honestly wasn't what I was aiming at. I'd just rather read some BGG and play some Star Realms on my phone than sit through Munchkin


This happens often in our groups. We have some varied players and when you play with 5 or so people, there is a chance you will find a game that one of them doesn't want to play. I have some players who bring knitting and stuff like that. Or if there are two players that want out of one game, then they sit elsewhere and play another game.

More players means more variance of games. The thing I have noticed though is that if someone intends to sit out for a game, they usually don't need much to pass the time. I usually make sure they are good (being a good host) and we do involve them in conversation and such.

The big deal on this is simply: If you are going to complain about a game and suck the fun out of it for everyone else (like I would for Munchkin I bet) then don't play that game. Sometimes this will change the selected game to include you. But otherwise everyone will have more fun if you aren't ruining something they would like more if you weren't there. Obviously its better if everyone plays each game, but if you really don't like Agricola and everyone else loves it. Let them play the game they love (if you are alright with sitting out)
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Osiris Saline
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nukesniper wrote:
Wormaap wrote:
Yep. Some people wanted to play Munchkin, I told them I'd play something on my phone then. They opted out of Munchkin, but that honestly wasn't what I was aiming at. I'd just rather read some BGG and play some Star Realms on my phone than sit through Munchkin


This happens often in our groups. We have some varied players and when you play with 5 or so people, there is a chance you will find a game that one of them doesn't want to play. I have some players who bring knitting and stuff like that. Or if there are two players that want out of one game, then they sit elsewhere and play another game.

More players means more variance of games. The thing I have noticed though is that if someone intends to sit out for a game, they usually don't need much to pass the time. I usually make sure they are good (being a good host) and we do involve them in conversation and such.

The big deal on this is simply: If you are going to complain about a game and suck the fun out of it for everyone else (like I would for Munchkin I bet) then don't play that game. Sometimes this will change the selected game to include you. But otherwise everyone will have more fun if you aren't ruining something they would like more if you weren't there. Obviously its better if everyone plays each game, but if you really don't like Agricola and everyone else loves it. Let them play the game they love (if you are alright with sitting out)


This is a great post.

Games are social events, and if one person feels rubbish about something social then everyone tends to feel rubbish about that eventually. So allowing people to do something else for a period is the best thing, everyone's happy, and no one has to reflect awkwardly on overly critical BGG posts about proper gaming etiquette!
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Henry Dove
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There are several games that I will never play that our group likes. Fortunately the group is big and usually we have 3 games going. So I can wait a littler and play something else. I always have something to read in case the wait is long.
 
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Boaty McBoatface
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No I have never turned down a board game, but then for me the main thing is social, not playing.
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Cardboard Hustle
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I'm typically the gaming organizer, so I have sat through some games I don't like. However, I will play fast, loose, and reckless if I am playing something I don't particularly like. Offense, offense, offense. I find that I either win wildly, which is fun. Or I crash and burn in spectacular fashion, which is it's own kind of fun.

My general rule is that I will play a game I dislike, IF I am the lynchpin to everyone playing. I see that as being a good sport, and I'm sure others have done the same for me. If the group can play without me, I will sit and watch, organize the kitchen, or go play something else. This is a pretty rare situation though.
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Mike Cooper
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I've come to sit out on Roborally with my group, simply because everyone knows going in that one player is going to dominate (he's won every game of it we've ever played). Everyone else is okay with spending the 90-120 minutes it takes, but I find it interminable, so I'll do something else while still hanging out in the room.
 
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Drew
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I haven't found a game yet that I would rather sit out of then play with my gaming group.
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Pete Lane
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In the last year my group got SUPER into the social deduction games that take up 5-8 players. I'll play the first round but usually skip out if they go for another round. If it's one we've played a ton of recently, I'll be honest and say "no." I don't like those games and would rather play host or prepare some food or chill out with some of the others that are also skipping until something more my preference hits the table.
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mortego
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Recently this happened to me: family (5 total people) was over and I pulled out several games like
Ticket to Ride
Lemming Mafia
Zombies!!!

of these three I like TtR the best but one family member said they were out if we played it. So we played Lemming Mafia, afterwards I brought up a few more games
Eldritch Horror
something else and another something else, all three games I really liked, the same family member said they were so we ended up playing Zombies!!!

I had a good time and the others didn't really care what we played so long as we all played.

I would like to tell you that this was a one time thing but it's every time.

Oh well, at least I get to play board games, right?
 
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A Deal with Death
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Like other posters have said, I consider this to be common courtesy so long as everyone else really wants to play and you're sitting out would prevent them doing so. There's some degree of social contract you engage in from showing up at board game night.

Barring that I'll sit out. I have other chores and stuff I can typically do on my phone. But our game group sets up video games and VR in another room for when you want to sit out.
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Kevin "Coop" Cooper
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If it's a game where I've learned people get upset if you make a less than optimal move, I'm not going to play it. I don't play games to do math or analyze all possible outcomes while tracking everything every other player has done. That's just not my style of game and the reactions of others to my haphazard play saps all the fun out of the game for me, and apparently them.
 
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chris thatcher
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I play exclusively with friends. We play whatever is put on the table. Sure if someone expresses they dont like a game or type of game (i have a friend who does not like co-ops) we will try and not play that type of game when they are around in the future, but even so ive never seen anyone refuse to play a game.

There are several games i do not particularly like but if everyone wants to play it i will. I just enjoy having the social experience.
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Gianluca Casu
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As soon Card against Humanity hits the table I'm out .
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John
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killerjoe1962 wrote:
Have you ever said no to playing a board with the alternative of having nothing else to do?

I can't remember, but I certainly would if I didn't want to play, and the game would work fine without me. It seems unlikely that I'd have nothing to do, I could read, watch the game, chat to people, get drinks...
 
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Andrew J.
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acedaryl1 wrote:
I'm typically the gaming organizer, so I have sat through some games I don't like. However, I will play fast, loose, and reckless if I am playing something I don't particularly like. Offense, offense, offense. I find that I either win wildly, which is fun. Or I crash and burn in spectacular fashion, which is it's own kind of fun.

My general rule is that I will play a game I dislike, IF I am the lynchpin to everyone playing. I see that as being a good sport, and I'm sure others have done the same for me. If the group can play without me, I will sit and watch, organize the kitchen, or go play something else. This is a pretty rare situation though.


I'm similar. I love to be a force of chaos, and as the host I like to make sure people are having fun. But if I sit out I'll go clean up the kitchen from dinner or something similar.

(Fluxx, Bang, Munchkin, CAH, all known to trigger this. Edit: and especially werewolf! yuk)
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Luke Piefer "Luke Luke The Orange"

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I think everyone at the table should be able to nix a few games that they really don't like. Nobody should have to sit out or play something they hate. If you can't find a game that everyone is cool with, you need to expand your collection.

Of course, this falls apart when someone has an agenda for wanting to play a certain game and rejects every other game until they get their way. That's selfish and frustrating. But most good sports literally have dozens of games on their list that they're willing to play and a few that they aren't.
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David Janik-Jones
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I have turned down Agricola. I have turned down money to play Agricola a fourth time. I'd prefer a good book, staring at a wall for three hours, or even being at the dentist undergoing root canal work.

And I won't ever play Diplomacy again.

Can't think of any other game besides those two I've ever turned down.

P.S. I also don't understand this idea of "nothing else to do". There is always something to do to get the mind or body going (mow the lawn, go for a walk, throw a baseball around, putter in the garden, spend time with my wife, pet one of the cats, etc).
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Justin Strickland
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killerjoe1962 wrote:
Have you ever said no to playing a board with the alternative of having nothing else to do?


Many times. Why would I play a game I don't like?
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John Hogan
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We have a fairly regular group and we vote ahead of time on what games we will play to save time on deciding. Out of respect for the vote I will play the games decided upon, but I would not be super excited about playing Food Chain Magnate.
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Monica Elida Forssell
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At some gatherings I like to mingle a bit, or my brain just needs a break from thinking so much, so I tell them that right now I don`t feel like playing, if they offer a game I am not too into. If it is a game I would really like, I might ask them to pick me up if they don`t find anyone else to play with. But I guess I am a really relaxed person when it comes to gaming at a gathering... When it is a game night, or at a club, we try to split in smaller groups and find games that appeal to all parties in each smaller group.
 
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Matt D
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Giant_Monster wrote:
I don't game for the sake of gaming. I game because I enjoy playing certain types of games. If I were asked to play a game I know I don't like, I would politely decline and find something else to do.

Plus, I wouldn't be fully vested in a game I don't really like and I don't think that would be fair to the people who truly enjoy the game.


This, times 100x.

In a larger group, there are always going to be games that some people like and some people don't. I'm usually willing to give any game a try (at least once), but if I don't like a game, I won't replay it again. As has been noted, I'd rather wait until a new game comes up (we tend to get anywhere from 12-30 people at our meetup, so typically a new game starts up within 15-20 minutes or so)

Mostly, it's a matter of consideration. I've played in games where someone is a reluctant participant, and they've made it very clear how reluctant they were. I've seen folks been malicious, and I've seen them been so lackadaisical that I'd rather they sat out because they ruined it for all of us.

I once played a game of Lords of Waterdeep as a four player game, but one player didn't really want to play it. He decided for reasons no one really knows that he was going to eff with the game, so literally every choice he could take he chose to help the same player (for those not familiar with the game, there are many cards which are "Take 2 for yourself, choose 1 opponent to take 1", and he literally chose the same one every time. Just because). His lack of care ended up ruining the game for everyone else, because he was pretty much just trolling the whole game.

Last week I played Captain Sonar with five other people. I suspected it wouldn't be my kind of game going on, but I gave it a shot. I should have just passed -- I don't like deduction games, I don't like real time games, I don't even care overly much for co-ops. For some inexplicable reason they made me the Captain, and somehow over the course of the game I gave an instruction and the other radio operator missed it, and it didn't get confirmed, and I didn't notice, and the entire game was ruined. The other team's radio operator is a very mild mannered Brit, and at one point when he realized that he missed something because we "couldn't possible be where we said we were", he did what was probably the equivalent of a table flip to anyone else. And he's a nice guy that I enjoy playing with, and he was totally pissed off.

I will never, ever play that game again.

Because it's not fair to the other five people playing.

So, yes, I'd rather sit and play on my phone for ten minutes or get some food or a drink or use the bathroom or set up a solo game to play solitaire for a few minutes than play a game that I don't like because as much as I don't want to waste my time doing something I don't enjoy, I mostly don't want to ruin the gaming experience for the OTHER people playing.
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Joe Huber

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killerjoe1962 wrote:
Have you ever said no to playing a board with the alternative of having nothing else to do?


The best recent example I can point to of this involved, when the group chose a game I didn't really care to play, I instead watched a game of Mansions of Madness: Second Edition. I had fun, watching and socializing. I didn't drag the game I wasn't in the mood for down, which in that case I was concerned would happen. I've also explicitly passed up gaming opportunities, while in the room, to simply continue a discussion I was enjoying.

Which technically, I suppose, makes my answer "no" - I did have something else to do. It just wasn't playing a game.
 
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