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Subject: The sad truth rss

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Christiaan Meijer
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Since I was a kid I loved playing board games. The joy of being around friends and escaping from reality for a bit by endulging in a game is better than any drug IMO. I guess most people have something they can really loose themselves in. Some may need it more than others. I found it a pleasant way of dealing with things when I was a kid and so we become close over the years (the hobby and I).

I noticed over the years that I kept buying more and more games. Especially after having had a great evening with people in the gaming group playing (new) games. I wanted to buy those games as well, even if I wasn't completely sure if it was really my game. Though I had such a good time I wanted to hold on to it buy trying to replicate it by getting the same game.

At a certain point when I reached about 500 games or so I asked myself why I kept buying all these wonderful games if there wasn't someone to play them with. Which is strange because I am in several gaming groups with enough people to go around. Unfortunately I sold many games again unplayed with little thought (still have plenty).

I kept digging deeper and deeper in my head to find the reason I was in this circle of buying and selling and not getting the "fix" that I needed.

Then the other day it finally hit me. It wasn't the games,..nor was it the number of people. It was me. blush

I tried to buy happiness by getting the games that reminded me of the good time(s) I had. I realised that what I was really missing was one or a few players that are really in line with the games I like to play and that are willing and able to play those games.

I guess playing board games puts my mind in a safe place and for some reason I want to take people there with me. I want to have people with me in my safe place. I guess the more I enjoy the game the more I feel safe. I guess this all reads really weird but I figured that most people here can some how relate or otherwise have stopped reading by now.

I had a hard childhood and board games helped me through this. This community has been a blast as well.

Weird how I read my own post now and realize that the post looks like it is going somewhere and then it stops. I guess my emo moment passed already and I am unable to write more at the moment. Though the core of the story still stands and that is that I wish I had some players able and willing to play the games I liked so that I could fill the void inside my mind.

Feel free to comment.
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Ian Klinck
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I definitely get where you're coming from!

I had a phase where I wasn't able to get together with friends to play games regularly, but I would still buy them. (Maybe not as much as you, but still more than warranted by the amount of time spent playing games!)

Thankfully, I'm now back into the groove of regular gaming.
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Robert Wesley
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Re: The sad truth hobby
devil I'm the 'opposite' since 'moi' enjoyed "the hunt" and discovering something UNKNOWN, until JUST encountered at the proper place and moment. For example, a copy of "Millionair" in shrinkwrap, with scrawled across that in marker-pen: "Recommended by TRUMP". So, I open that up and beheld it was depicting: "Kirkland, WA. USA-Home of the Seahawks!" They've since moved to their newer facilities.
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Chris Knight
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meijerc wrote:
Weird how I read my own post now and realize that the post looks like it is going somewhere and then it stops.


Having a point is grossly overrated. Most thoughts worth mulling over and sharing are at least a little untidy.

I can very much relate to many of your sentiments. Personally, I am an introvert with some social anxiety. The few times I have tried to go to meet-ups have been no fun for me at all. So instead I play regularly with a couple of good, old friends and also occasionally with my in-laws. An arrangement which mostly does me well. But I do want to play more and be involved more. Like you, I wish I had more like-minded gamers in my life. To compensate, I spend lots of time here, on BGG, I organize my collection, I occasionally paint a mini, I make lists and spreadsheets, and, yes, shop, and as a result, buy more games than I can get played.

I think the most important thing is to be mindful of the choices you make, and work toward understanding why you are making them. That I think is the path to happiness, or at least being at ease with oneself, which is maybe the better goal anyway.



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Christiaan Meijer
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Yes, BGG is an awesome community to keep myself busy with my passion.
Maybe I should get into solo play or something,.. soblue
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John Prewitt
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Gee Whiz wrote:
meijerc wrote:
Weird how I read my own post now and realize that the post looks like it is going somewhere and then it stops.


Having a point is grossly overrated. Most thoughts worth mulling over and sharing are at least a little untidy.

I can very much relate to many of your sentiments. Personally, I am an introvert with some social anxiety. The few times I have tried to go to meet-ups have been no fun for me at all. So instead I play regularly with a couple of good, old friends and also occasionally with my in-laws. An arrangement which mostly does me well. But I do want to play more and be involved more. Like you, I wish I had more like-minded gamers in my life. To compensate, I spend lots of time here, on BGG, I organize my collection, I occasionally paint a mini, I make lists and spreadsheets, and, yes, shop, and as a result, buy more games than I can get played.

I think the most important thing is to be mindful of the choices you make, and work toward understanding why you are making them. That I think is the path to happiness, or at least being at ease with oneself, which is maybe the better goal anyway.





I'm very much an introvert with severe social anxiety. At least you have good, old friends! It's just me and my wife here, has been for years. Society makes you feel weird/odd for being a loner, but I don't buy it. I prefer being by myself - there's nothing wrong with it. And if you think there is - do something about it, but I'd rather be alone than with a group any day.

And yes, you should get into solo play. It's wonderful. I play 75% of my gaming solo, the other 25% with my wife. Check out the 1 player guild, "Together we game alone" is their motto.
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Robert Wesley
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meijerc wrote:
Yes, BGG is an awesome community to keep myself busy with my passion.
Maybe I should get into solo play or something,.. soblue
How about this: TRY CHESS with "making two moves per side/turn"? I've played enough against myself and it is 50/50 WINS for either color. Next, "Yalu" by Conflict Games, as I've never played that yet, nor "Brandy Station"-unpunched by RAND.
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Billy McBoatface
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meijerc wrote:
The joy of...indulging in a game is better than any drug IMO.

Have you tried every drug to be sure of this? Maybe there's one that you're missing!

But more seriously, when I got to around 250 games I realized that I would always have the "right game" for any occasion, always have a game that I've played so little that it feels new, and that buying more games wasn't really making me any happier - much like you decided. Since then I buy 2 or 3 games a year, and that's been working pretty well. So it sounds pretty good that you realized exactly what you were getting out of your games. Now you can plan on buying/keeping/selling the "right amount" for you.
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Andy Andersen
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My son brought Ticket to Ride to Christmas almost 6 years ago. I fell in love with modern boardgaming. Somehow I stumbled onto BGG and I was like a kid in a candy store. Then Boards and Bits, ThoughtHammer, MM and CSI. I made a promise to my wife that my collection would never exceed 60 games.

It has grown (magically) to 2300+ and some days I think I'm in a dream (a good one). I usually play with only my wife and she wins 70% of the time but I don't care. Sitting in the game room surrounded by cardboard is not a bad place to be.

My wife told me to get a hobby when I retired and since I'm too old to chase women, I'm pretty happy with this one.
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Christiaan Meijer
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79strat wrote:
Gee Whiz wrote:
meijerc wrote:
Weird how I read my own post now and realize that the post looks like it is going somewhere and then it stops.


Having a point is grossly overrated. Most thoughts worth mulling over and sharing are at least a little untidy.

I can very much relate to many of your sentiments. Personally, I am an introvert with some social anxiety. The few times I have tried to go to meet-ups have been no fun for me at all. So instead I play regularly with a couple of good, old friends and also occasionally with my in-laws. An arrangement which mostly does me well. But I do want to play more and be involved more. Like you, I wish I had more like-minded gamers in my life. To compensate, I spend lots of time here, on BGG, I organize my collection, I occasionally paint a mini, I make lists and spreadsheets, and, yes, shop, and as a result, buy more games than I can get played.

I think the most important thing is to be mindful of the choices you make, and work toward understanding why you are making them. That I think is the path to happiness, or at least being at ease with oneself, which is maybe the better goal anyway.





I'm very much an introvert with severe social anxiety. At least you have good, old friends! It's just me and my wife here, has been for years.


My wife is does not like to play board games. cry I can get her to play sometimes with friends but she does not have the patience to listen to rules or wait for setup.
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Rich
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I think it truly does come down to having the right group to play with. The vast majority of the games I play rely heavily on theme. If the people you're playing with don't enjoy the theme, or just don't have that type of personality, it can KILL the mood for the other people trying to get into it.

My "group" basically consists of me, my wife, and a good friend and his wife. I've basically scrapped ever trying to get a game like Runewars to the table again as the girls just aren't having it. Although, they did enjoy Descent 2nd edition which was a massive surprise.

I'm currently trying to get a group of guy friends together to play Game of Thrones Board Game 2nd Edition. Nearly all of my friends enjoy the Game of Thrones TV series, so I figured this might be a game I could get them to try since none of them are board gamers. I figured from there, I might be able to parlay that into having them try other games in the future, haha. So, yes, there's a bit of a hidden agenda on my part there.
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Philip Pacek
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Oh man this post hits home. I went on a little buying binge earlier this year, just buying a bunch of games even though I didn't necessarily have groups to play them with (I've since met some new friends through boardgame meetups).

For me personally it's a mental health thing as well. Dealing with depression/anxiety since I was perhaps 12, you start to look for any means necessary to get a sense of normalcy. Board games don't solve this for me, but they definitely take the edge off and I get to be immersed in something and forget about the outside world for a little while. Much more so than video games.

What I'm getting at is that, as a suggestion, you should look into finding new friends who are more inline with the games that YOU personally like to play. And, unless you're already aware of something you may have, it might be worthwhile to visit a doctor and speak with him about your mental health.

Good luck with everything man.
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Christiaan Meijer
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Well, It's not that deep, it's just that I really want to find people that like the same games I do. The mental health part is the core of it all but certainly not something that interfers with my daily life or anything.

I should look into meet-ups online to find people to play my types of games with, see if that will help.
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Agent J
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Orangemoose wrote:
My son brought Ticket to Ride to Christmas almost 6 years ago. I fell in love with modern boardgaming. Somehow I stumbled onto BGG and I was like a kid in a candy store. Then Boards and Bits, ThoughtHammer, MM and CSI. I made a promise to my wife that my collection would never exceed 60 games.

It has grown (magically) to 2300+ and some days I think I'm in a dream (a good one). I usually play with only my wife and she wins 70% of the time but I don't care. Sitting in the game room surrounded by cardboard is not a bad place to be.

My wife told me to get a hobby when I retired and since I'm too old to chase women, I'm pretty happy with this one.


It's never too late to chase women, just make sure you never catch one and you'll never have a problem.
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Agent J
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He's looking real sharp in his 1940's fedora. He's got nerves of steel, an iron will, and several other metal-themed attributes. His fur is water tight and he's always up for a fight.
badge
He's a semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action. He's a furry little flat-foot who'll never flinch from a fray. He's got more than just mad skills, he's got a beaver tail and a bill.
mbmbmbmbmb
I can find people to play my types of games but they all like other games too, so it becomes a struggle to get them playing the right games for me while still allowing them to play the right games for them.
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