Round 3 filled out a grid of ten armies. Every army fought the rest, leaving Doomsday on top and Neojungle at the bottom of the heap. Now my self-imposed mission of playing through NH comprehensively amounts to each new army facing off against all the armies I already have in turn.
The first of these gauntlets is Uranopolis, the uranium miners with heavy-duty equipment that will mess you up … as long as it’s plugged in.
**rant and musical interlude begins**
But before we begin, I’d like to say a word about the box cover. It’s cool that they have women miners after the apocalypse, but the pilates regime, mascara and implants suggested by the image were a bit embarrassing. The wrench she’s toting is more of a symbolic ‘huge tool’ than a practical working implement. The tied up shirt made me think that perhaps it might get hot when working at The Nuke Mine…
[To the tune of Car Wash by Rose Royce]
You might not ever beat Hege
But let me tell you it's better than netting a Veg
There ain't no telling who you might meet
A mutant car or maybe even a Doomsday Machine.
Working at the nuke mine
Working at the nuke mine, yeah
Come on and sing it with me, nuke mine
Sing it with feeling now, nuke mine yeah
Seriously though, why not have a ‘female mechanic’ rather than a ‘sexy mechanic’, and help to widen the audience? Compare the image with Kate from the Netrunner core set.
** end of rant and musical interlude**
MOLOCH Wins: 2 Losses: 6 Draws:1 Aggregate: -13 New rank: 10
Previous rank: 8 Uranopolis result: 14 – 7 (Uranopolis victory)
Moloch failed to win against the newcomers, mainly because turtling behind armour didn’t work against the Drill (hits on initative 3,2 and 1) and Ravager (the wrecking ball that takes out a triangle of hexes). They have fallen two places to become the least successful of the ten armies. The post-apocalyptic slump really hasn’t been kind to the machine race.
NEOJUNGLE Wins: 3 Losses: 6 Draws: 0 Aggregate: -32 New rank: 9
Previous rank: 9 Uranopolis result: 6 – 4 (Uranoplis loss)
Neojungle was able to grow and reach full strength between battles, but the Uranopolis Ray and a late rush of offensive units brought this match down to the wire. The last round saw a full board and a line up of charged weapons pointing at the Neojungle HQ. If an extra battle had been triggered before the final battle, Uranopolis would have won. The tendrils creep up the ranks, or at least Neojungle isn’t at the bottom any more.
URANOPOLIS Wins: 3 Losses: 6 Draws: 0 Aggregate: -4 Rank: 8
In the first four matches, the miners alternated between wins and losses, and I imagined that they would turn out to be a perfectly balanced mid-ranked army. As the gauntlet wore on, they kept losing, and have ended up near the bottom of the heap.
Their drawback of unplugged units came into play less often than expected, as did the sexy mechanics. It’s probably because the HQ became the source of most of the power. This was only made possible by placing it in the centre, which led to dynamic high scoring matches where exhausted armies traded blows to the end.
Altogether, I like how the army’s gimmick encourages aggressive play, even if low mobility means that it often doesn’t pay off. The new module, ‘Wastes’, which adds a dash of radiation poisoning to every wound, and the new action, ‘Ray’, which cuts a line across the board, wounding indiscriminately are both satisfying to use.
HEGEMONY Wins: 3 Losses: 5 Draws:1 Aggregate: -21 New rank: 7
Previous rank: 8 Uranopolis result: 5 - 2 (Uranopolis loss)
This was a great match, where both sides tore lumps out of each other without defending much. It looks like Hege is made for this style of play and so the Mad Max maniacs won out. With this victory, Hegemony can contend with the mid-ranked armies, and is hot on New York’s heels.
NEW YORK Wins: 3 Losses: 4 Draws:2 Aggregate: -18 New rank:6
Previous rank: 6 Uranopolis result: 10 - 7 (Uranopolis loss)
After Moloch’s defeat, I expected NY’s armour bonus to be useless. I was mostly right, but a single cop made surprising inroads on a netted Uranopolis HQ. It was business as usual for the city boys.
MISSISSIPPI Wins: 5 Losses: 4 Draws: 0 Aggregate: -23 New rank: 5
Previous rank: 5 Uranopolis result: 18 – 13 (Uranopolis loss)
As it turned out, the boys from the bayou were the best at turtling, thanks to their double armour module. Apart from that, it became a standard poison fest, and Mississippi held on to their spot in the middle of the pack.
OUTPOST Wins: 5 Losses: 4 Draws: 0 Aggregate: -5 New rank: 4
Previous rank: 3 Uranopolis result: 8 – 7 (Uranopolis victory)
This was probably the most thematically interesting match up. The miners kept setting up their heavy guns, threatening all the damage. The guerrillas, on the other hand, kept calling battles to dismantle those guns, acting as saboteurs. It wasn’t quite enough for Outpost to survive the comeback but, in the end, there was only one point in it. And with that defeat, Outpost dropped out of the top three, the army’s terrible aggregate score counting against it.
BORGO Wins: 5 Losses: 4 Draws: 0 Aggregate: 16 Rank: 3
Previous rank: 4 Uranopolis result: 16 – 12 (Uranopolis loss)
Uranopolis ceded the centre ground to Borgo, out of fear of the triple-hit net fighters. Perhaps this was a mistake, as Borgo won out without much fanfare and entered the top three.
STEEL POLICE Wins: 6 Losses: 3 Draws: 0 Aggregate: 28 Rank: 2
Previous rank: 2 Uranopolis result: 13 – -8 (Uranopolis victory)
Steel Police was the last army that Uranopolis faced. By that stage, the miners were in danger of coming last with only two victories to their name and facing off against the silver medallists of Round 3. Instead the Robocoppers were utterly destroyed, with Uranopolis finally taking the opportunity to unleash hell with a module enhanced Drill to the face (2 damage on initiatives 3,2 and 1) as well as 4 more damage from a Hammerhead in the final battle. This means that Mississippi, Outpost and Borgo are all breathing down the purple police’s carapace.
For anyone wondering about minus figures in my results, I keep counting until the final battle is over, rather than removing the HQ after the initiative round when it hits zero.
THE DOOMSDAY MACHINE Wins: 8 Losses: 1 Draws: 0 Aggregate: 71 Rank: 1
Previous rank: 1 Uranopolis result: 2 – -14 (Uranopolis loss)
And still the champion of the wasteland…
Uranopolis took a terrible beating against the Doomsday Machine. The centre spot was a awful place to be, once double ranged shooters were split and redirected back at the miner HQ. Nets kept guns inactive, blocking made other units ineffective and the Ray couldn’t clear off medic-protected or tough units.
The next round will see all the armies make their way, one by one, through Mephisto’s territory.
- Last edited Tue Oct 18, 2016 6:14 am (Total Number of Edits: 1)
- Posted Mon Oct 17, 2016 7:00 am
I actually bought this expansion just because the cover.
Prior to that I had no knowledge about Neuroshima Hex.
It was my first expansion and soon after I bought other expansions.
BTW- Nice session report.
What is your opinion and feeling of the new upcoming expansion ?
(that is if you have read the rules) where do you see the new expansion army fit among the existing armies ?
The newest expansion, which I just bought at SPIEL, Neuroshima Hex! Death Breath, really shakes up the game. It seems clever, but whether it's reliably successful... I don't know. Maybe more a situational victor like Uranopolis.
Neuroshima Hex! Sharrash plays nicely on the phone at least.
I'm looking forward to Death Breath. The zombie power seems very strong and the charge move (units move into the space of units they killed) seems pretty thematic. Like other armies, it all looks OP but I trust that it will turn out balanced.
Funny how the cover turned out to work for you. I really imagined it could be a turn-off.
I plan to buy Sharrash, Death Breath and Dancer for a round of freaky armies.
I agree that Sharash plays well on the app. I'd rate them in the top half of the army.
Have you played much with your shiny new army?
No, I literally brought it home two days ago (but I did punch the tiles).
They start off really weak and vulnerable, but once they get their Zombie Pool up and can resurrect some guys, it's off to the races it would seem.
Dancer... now that is too much for me. I always find it amusing when I play on the phone and Dancer is part of a four-way brawl, all the other AIs immediately join forces with me to wipe Dancer off the map. Literally the first one to die every single game.
I haven't played Mephisto, so I don't know how that is, but I really don't like Dancer.
Yeah: Dancer is both overpowered and weak at the same time.
In a 4p game its strength is its weakness: all the others immediately recognize Dancer as 'The Great Satan' & common enemy to fight, so it's the first army to get wiped off the board - in on-line play and against the AI alike.
I guess it's more interesting in 1 vs 1, but haven't tried it.
I need more musical interludes of that quality in my life. Thanks for the writeup!
Thanks for noticing! The tune popped into my head but it took a little while to find words that fit. Now I feel it was worth the effort.