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Subject: Cal returns to fail to save his kingdom rss

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Look on my works ye mighty and despair
United Kingdom
West Yorkshire
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(This is my first return to this since my teenage years.)

Cal started on his adventure, but was sadly unable to find a part of the river shallow enough. (For despite being a noble hero, he failed to pay attention when the other boys were swimming, preferring the noble art of poetry which played no part in this adventure). While he was searching, four mercenary guards turned up, sticking Cal with their swords a few time. So Cal used his Barbarian courage to run away shrieking loudly.

He followed this with an attempt to hunt, but hit his head on a branch which hurt quite a lot. And left poor Cal with a rumbly tummy.

The next day, he managed to cross the river, but got lost on the other side. He did however manage to bag a few rabbits.

After this, he headed on his way to Cumry. This was largely uneventful, until he got to the hills nearby. Where he got himself lost for five days (follow the stars Cal, not your finger). On the final day of his lostness, he found a high altar. Which, not having a priest or monk to explain to him, he tried to eat.

But then he got to Cumry, which treated him well. On his first day, he managed to fall through a flooroard into the theives guild and landed on a pile of gold. Surprisingly, he pocketed this rather than trying to eat or have sex with it. He was evolving as a character!

It took him another five days to get an audience with the towm mayor, including giving the rather churlish Master of the Household ten gold a few days in.

He finally met the Mayor who yawned a lot and threw him out. Cal decided the Mayor could go to whatever the Barbarian equivalent of Hell is and stopped trying to talk to him.

But the next day Cal made some friends. If, by friends, you mean slaves. He bought a porter, a lovely slave girl (who he managed not to fall in love with) and an utterly useless elderly warrior who dropped his sword.

"I thought I saw the worth in him" muttered Cal, "But there is none. He's rubbish".

Finally, Cal and his slaves and the worst warrior ever to live left Cumry.

To find there was a Goblin Keep just south of the town that the townsfolk had somehow not bothered to mention, leading Cal to rechristen them "Dickry" with that clever wit Barbarians are well known for.

The goblins captured Cal and his party and executed them the next day.

Cal's last words were "I hate that mayor so much"
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