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Subject: How do you find the right people to play with? rss

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Donald M.
United States
Sweet Grass
Montana
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I love playing board games but lately everyone seems busy all the time.

I mainly go to meetups and though it is fun, it's really a random mixed bag of strangers. I suppose over time you get familiar with them but there are regulars I dislike to play with thus I am reluctant to go anymore.

I did take the numbers and emails of the people I liked though but still it is hard to get them together as they live in other parts of the city or have other commitments. My pot luck parties are always touch and go. People cancelled at the last minute.

Ideally, I'd like to game with the same 3 or 4 people that have personalities that I can get along with. Maybe that would get boring too, if the same person always follows the same strategies? I know for sure, I won't be buying any Legacy games until I get a fixed group of gamers.

Most of my closer friends are casual gamers so they don't put as much effort into the strategic elements that a seasoned veteran would.

Any suggestions? I thought about starting up my own meetup group but there are already lots with the same idea.

I got lots of games and time but not many people I enjoy playing with at the moment. I'd like a constant compatible group who are game competitive and also fun to be with.

Any suggestions?
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Silver Bowen
United States
Austin
Texas
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Kill all the wrong people. Then play with whoever is left.
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Donald M.
United States
Sweet Grass
Montana
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silverbowen wrote:
Kill all the wrong people. Then play with whoever is left.


Can't that would be illegal.
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Marc Nelson Jr.
United States
Cumberland
Maryland
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I would say just keep going to the meetups that already exist. Your attendance helps shape the group. Encourage the people you like to keep coming, and bring your more casual friends along and try to convert them.

Do you really live in Sweet Grass, Montana? Can you afford to be picky?
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Dan Mansfield
United States
Poway
California
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I agree with Marc, keep going to the meetups until you find the people who are compatible. Sometimes it takes a while. If there are any small local conventions, check those out as well, because that's where you'll find more serious gamers. In the meantime, you may have to make do with playing slightly less interesting games. If people enjoy playing with you, they may take you up on your offer of playing a heavier game.

As for playing with friends who are more casual gamers and who may not be as interested in heavier games involving a lot of strategy, all I can say is to enjoy the people and don't worry too much about the games.
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John Burt
United States
Portland
Oregon
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Develop an interest in solo gaming. That will reduce the pressure you feel to play with someone you don't care for.
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Donald M.
United States
Sweet Grass
Montana
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There's some condescending people at the meetup, so that has soured me on the main gaming meetups.
 
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Mason Rouser
United States
Johnstown
Pennsylvania
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Oiler1 wrote:
There's some condescending people at the meetup, so that has soured me on the main gaming meetups.


Key word is "some". Find the ones who aren't, and message them privately on meetup. Finding gamers in a rural is hard because there are fewer people around. Sometimes you have to make choices you don't have to make when you are in an area with a vibrant playing community. One of the things I have found is that you can't make people who aren't gamers by nature into them, so we have to use tools like meetup and the gamer finder tool on BGG. I'd love it if someone sent me a GeekMail saying they were nearby and was looking for people to play with.
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Gary Stephen
Scotland
Dundee
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I'm lucky enough to have a store in town that has space for gaming. They have a regular night for board games.

Been going most weeks now for a couple years and slowly over that time a group of regular players has built up. For the most part it's people I enjoy playing with, but as will always be the case, there are one or two I'd rather not if possible.

But it's a open group in a shop, so end of the day you have to take the good with the bad.

If you do manage to find a few you like playing with and want to avoid the bad completely, you could always suggest meeting up at your house, or rotating the venue through all the houses to prevent one person having the responsibility every time.
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Miika Peltonen
Finland
Turku
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I was planning to create a WhatsApp group with those few who I know that likes to play Board Games. I know they have friends who play also, but who are strangers to me, so I thought if they would give me those contacts to add in that group.. That way there would be more of a chance to get together.. And no-one total stranger. Not that it would be always a bad thing to have someone new in the group...
 
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Dennis Ku
Canada
Toronto
Ontario
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I have a core group of 3 to 5 friends that get together with me. I don't know what I would do if I had to actually go out and meet strangers to play games, to be honest.
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Paul DeStefano
United States
Long Island
New York
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I simply married the best gaming partner I could find.
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Dale Prather
United States
Akron
Ohio
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Geosphere wrote:
I simply married the best gaming partner I could find.


Suggestions on finding one of those?
Sounds like unicorn hunting.
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Steve C
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Step 1: Find people to play board games.
Step 2: Identify people that are definitely not the right people.
Step 3: Identify people that might be the right people.
Step 4: Talk with people in step 3, filter right/wrong.

Repeat until you have a gaming group.


As with many things in life, you will make many mistakes and find many of the wrong people, but if you persist, you will most likely find the right people.
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Geoffrey Burrell
United States
Cedar Rapids
Iowa
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My twin brother found a member whose group he and I got together with met in college when person was seen reading a Shadowrun book. We were in that same group for over 20 years. It was either luck or destiny that my twin brother met the other member of the gaming group.
 
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Tahsin Shamma
United States
Massachusetts
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dale12 wrote:
Geosphere wrote:
I simply married the best gaming partner I could find.


Suggestions on finding one of those?
Sounds like unicorn hunting.


In my case unicorn building. Find someone who is open minded and work together to find games in the hobby you can both enjoy.
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AJ
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Ontario
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Sredni Vashtar wrote:
I agree with Marc, keep going to the meetups until you find the people who are compatible. Sometimes it takes a while. If there are any small local conventions, check those out as well, because that's where you'll find more serious gamers. In the meantime, you may have to make do with playing slightly less interesting games. If people enjoy playing with you, they may take you up on your offer of playing a heavier game.

As for playing with friends who are more casual gamers and who may not be as interested in heavier games involving a lot of strategy, all I can say is to enjoy the people and don't worry too much about the games.


Totally agree. We started out playing casual games with friends and more intense games just the two of us (further supporting the marry the best gaming partner you can find approach). The first time I brought out Terra Mystica, my friend's humoured me and pretty much told me it was the most complicated thing ever. Now those same friends are uber competitive and thrash me... and Terra Mystica is our end-of-night game for when we don't have the brain cells to think too much, but don't want to stop playing quite yet.

Of course that's not true for all groups. I have other friends who like a casual game now and then but that's it.
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Trevor
Canada
Vancouver
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Converting or inviting new gamers is an option, I've found. There seem to be a lot of people who are fresh to the hobby, having recently played something like Catan or Pandemic.

Recently I went to a new-ish friend's birthday, and his wife introduced me to some other friends as "the board game guy." I got to chatting with a couple of their friends and they kept mentioning how they'd love to come out to a game night, having recently played a hobbyist game or two.

Really all it took was having one new friend who liked games and spread his enthusiasm to his group of friends, and now I have another game group to make plans with.

My situation may or may not be isolated, but it seems with more and more people discovering board games, more opportunities show up to plan game nights with new people.
 
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Dale Prather
United States
Akron
Ohio
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Is there a way to search for local people to play with here on BGG ?
I know of the Game Groups forum. I'm wondering if I can do a search for everyone who lives near Akron, OH, for example.
 
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United States
California
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Yea figure there must be a way, I'm interested in the same thing, just need to learn my way around this site as well.
 
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Chris Graves
United States
Oregon
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I think if you can find one good person to game with, you increase your odds a great deal, because they know people, too. It just takes time. I was collecting games for over a year, and other than my kids and Dad who played one a month at best, I had nobody else too play with for a long time. Then I met a guy who knew some people and now I play at least once a week. Just keep doing what you're doing. It will work out.
 
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Tony T
United States
Sacramento
California
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Oiler1 wrote:
I thought about starting up my own meetup group but there are already lots with the same idea.

Start one anyway. Overlap/redundancy isn't a problem. Most people are members of several similar meetup groups.

When people join, you can use mandatory screening questions to gauge their compatibility with the group and be very selective of who you let in.

It costs money to have a meetup group, but once you've assembled a solid group and everyone's phone/emails, you don't need to keep the meetup going.
 
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Donald M.
United States
Sweet Grass
Montana
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I noticed there is a game convention next weekend. I will go there and find new friends hopefully.
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Sam Lam I Am
United States
Highland
UT
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futhee wrote:
I have a core group of 3 to 5 friends that get together with me. I don't know what I would do if I had to actually go out and meet strangers to play games, to be honest.


This is me, too. I gather them weekly to my house to play. I am always on the lookout for a new participant because people move or lose interest or have a baby, etc.

I wind up inviting new people 1 to 3 times per year and maybe 1 out of 3 turns into a regular.

So I have carefully cultivated a gaming group. The participants become my best friends.
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Shawn
Canada
Toronto
Ontario
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meetups are tricky.

With an open meetup there are factors such as skill level and personality type so you're likely to run into the problem you described.

I've attended a lot of meetups so I've sort of accepted that I might not always get to game with my preferred opponents. I try to make the most of it and enjoy the company of whoever is playing.

Like you, I've thought about hosting a private gathering at my home but then I would have to worry about food and drinks. Right now our meetups are at cafes where food is taken care of and people can choose whatever items they want and that's a big plus.
 
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