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Subject: Should I be upset? rss

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Richard Kennedy
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Howdy all,

Recently I let a friend borrow my copy of REX: Final Days of an Empire. The game was gone for about 6 months, went to get it back from him because I had set up a day to play it with other friends. Found out that my friend had loaned it to a local gaming shop for them to use for awhile. Went to the FLG to pick up the game and had to wait for conformation from my friend before they would give it up. I understand that part because they had no idea it was mine. After I got home though I opened it up to assess the damage and WOW... The game board was ripped in half. My original tackle box and bags I used for sorting are missing. All the tokens and card were just in the box strewn about. Some of the cards are beat up and I am missing quite a few tokens.

My question is should I go anywhere from here? I only play my games once in a while and I don't mind that people got a ton of enjoyment out of the game, obviously some epic negotiation and battles took place. I'm kinda upset that the game is in this shape and if I want to play the game I will have to buy a new copy. Should I try and press my friend or the shop for compensation or just give it up?
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Rob Byers
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At the very least you need to have your friend pen this epic narrative on how your game went from pristine condition to this hobbled together-ripped in half abomination.

Maybe the story will be worth it?

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Chris Graves
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Have you already shown your friend the current status of the game? That has to be communicated. That person should offer to replace it. If not, hmmm...
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maf man
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sounds like your loose with the term "friend"
but still that person better make it right
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Matt Smith
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You should bring this up to your friend and ask him for some sort of compensation. The fact of the matter is you loaned it to him and trusted him to take care of your property. Once you it was in his possession it was his responsibility to take care of it. You had no control of it after he took it from you and should be held responsible for it. He should have to replace everything that was lost, but you might just want to hold him responsible for buying you the game again. I'd also recommend that you never loan him ANYTHING ever again.
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Ian Toltz
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Absolutely. I think everyone has their own threshold; some people would get pissed at a card sleeve being split or components not being bagged in the exact way they expected, others might draw the line at a crease in the cards or cheeto-finger prints on the board...

But board ripped in half? That's beyond the pale.

Also, who the hell lends a game they're borrowing to a game store's public library? That's just... mind-boggling.

If I were you I'd tell your friend to enjoy his new game, and ask when you can expect him to get you your replacement copy.
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Rob Hart
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First and foremost, never loan games to this particular friend ever again. Never ever. "The last time I loaned you a game, I got it back destroyed," if pressed for a reason.

That said, you really should at least communicate to the friend. Don't ask for compensation, just make sure he knows the condition in which the game was returned, and make sure he knows that you aren't happy about it. Don't expect to be paid back, but if he offers accept it. If he doesn't, take it as an expensive lesson learned and be more judicious about the terms under which you let people borrow your things in the future. (IE, don't loan this to anyone else, if it comes back unplayable I expect you to replace it.)
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Marina SC
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I think my first move would be to ask your friend why they lent this game out without your permission, and tell them how badly it was damaged and that you will need to get a new copy. At this point, without you having to explicitly say so, the friend should hopefully realize that they should either be the one to replace the game OR they should take on the responsibility of pressing the gamestore to replace it (a gamestore should definitely have it within their resources to do so!). If the gamestore refuses (like, your friend signed some kind of waiver), then your friend is morally on the hook, but it's up to you whether you want to let it go or not. In any case, I wouldn't lend him anything ever again.
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Steve C
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I would talk with the friend and say this wasn't what you were expecting when you loaned him the game. Ask him for a replacement copy (or the cash to buy one if you don't want the game anymore). If he balks or refuses, or says "the check is in the mail"...

Sometimes, life teaches you when friends are no longer friends. This could be one of those times.
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Curt Carpenter
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I never cease to be amazed at how many questions get posted on BGG where the answer is, "talk it through with the other person".

There's no objective right or wrong answer on who should do what, other than start with an open and calm discussion.
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Christopher M.
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What is your relationship with your friend like? It seems like he thought your loan was more of a gift.
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Take joy from your wins; take lessons from your losses.
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Riva
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    This is on your friend.

    Wrap it very nicely for Christmas and give it to him as a gift.
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Jessica
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Frankly, I don't think I'd be calling that person a friend anymore after that. They had absolutely zero respect for your personal property, or the fact that the item they received was a loaner. They had zero right to let anyone else borrow YOUR game, at the very least not without consulting you first. I just can't even begin the understand the gall of someone who would loan out a game they had borrowed anyway, much less into a situation that they know (or should know) at the very least will be hard on the game and possibly cause a lot of wear and tear to it.

As it stands, your friend owes you a new copy. That's the least he can do, seeing as the game is not only in bad condition, but unplayable. He should also replace all of your extra components that you purchased for the games storage, since his decision to loan your game without even asking you is what lead to those pieces being stolen. If he was intelligent, he'd call the game store as well, and rip them a new one, because WTH, why would you let your customers treat a game this way? What sort of game store is this?? If your friend won't do it, then you should.

Either way, if you decide to keep the friend, make it completely clear to him that he is never borrowing a single thing from you, ever again, no if's and's or but's. He lost that right when he completely disregarded your feelings and your property, as well as his responsibility towards protecting your property when in his care. And I would take pictures of what was done to your game, and leave a review on the game store's website and google page, if possible. People need to know what will happen if they 'loan' games to that train wreck of a store.
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mortego
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The part I'm trying to digest is the part where the friend LOANED it out!

oh, and yes, you should be upset.
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Dale Prather
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I'd be pissed! Wait, I am pissed. For you.
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Ottawa
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Have a discussion with your friend about the current state of your game and how you feel it was unfair of him to return the game in its current state and how you're unhappy with the fact that he lent out your game to someone else. You trusted him with the game, not someone else. Tell him you would like him to buy you a new copy. Give him the old copy. If he has a problem with that tell him how disappointed you are in him and never lend him a game again.
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Reed Dawley
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How is this even a question? You lent a game to a friend and he lent out something that wasn't even his. If your "friend" has any sort of social skills this should be an abvious no-no. If your friend is on the spectrum and really didn't realize that this was not a thing that is OK in civilized society please educate him in a kind manner.
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Bob Boberson
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'Neither a borrower nor a lender be'.
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Michael Lind
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Sort of amazed you feel you have to ask...

Your "friend" should replace the game with a new copy.

The store had nothing to do with it.

Borrowing something that belongs to someone else implies acceptance of responsibility for it as well as respect for it or at least it did when I was growing up and learning about interpersonal relationships.

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Dale Prather
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My friend borrowed a game. While in her possession, a child got a hold of it and ripped the board in half. She bought me a brand new game. Given that she did that, I wasn't upset at all.

I fixed the ripped board and gave it back to her.
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Eric Matthews
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No, you actually should not be upset. You have learned a valuable lesson thanks to your friend, you now know exactly what sort of person he is when it comes to other people's property. Frankly the second your friend told you that he lent your property to someone else without asking, you already know he doesn't respect your property at all.

You should thank him for this as you give him the box, which of course is now his, and act accordingly in the future when it comes this type of thing and this friend.

It is no different from finding out a baby or a pet wrecked something; you can't make them different, you can only act differently to prevent this from happening in the future.

Eric
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TonyKR
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Asmor wrote:
Also, who the hell lends a game they're borrowing to a game store's public library? That's just... mind-boggling.

Yeah, this is where the story takes a turn that I simply can't wrap my head around.
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Ian Toltz
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Ganybyte wrote:
No, you actually should not be upset. You have learned a valuable lesson thanks to your friend and now know exactly what sort of person he is when it comes to other people's property.

You should thank him for this as you give him the box, which of course is now his, and act accordingly in the future when it comes this type of thing.

Eric


That's super passive-aggressive. That's probably the worst possible way to handle this situation. Ignore it or confront him, but don't do this.
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Boaty McBoatface
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BigSanta wrote:
Howdy all,

Recently I let a friend borrow my copy of REX: Final Days of an Empire. The game was gone for about 6 months, went to get it back from him because I had set up a day to play it with other friends. Found out that my friend had loaned it to a local gaming shop for them to use for awhile. Went to the FLG to pick up the game and had to wait for conformation from my friend before they would give it up. I understand that part because they had no idea it was mine. After I got home though I opened it up to assess the damage and WOW... The game board was ripped in half. My original tackle box and bags I used for sorting are missing. All the tokens and card were just in the box strewn about. Some of the cards are beat up and I am missing quite a few tokens.

My question is should I go anywhere from here? I only play my games once in a while and I don't mind that people got a ton of enjoyment out of the game, obviously some epic negotiation and battles took place. I'm kinda upset that the game is in this shape and if I want to play the game I will have to buy a new copy. Should I try and press my friend or the shop for compensation or just give it up?
Yes, I wouild tell your friend exactly what he is, and no doubt he might not be your friend anymore and quote frankly his behavior makes me question that status now).

Sadly you cannot do anything about the shop (after all are they responsible for the damage, or did your so called friend do it). Your friend should replace it, it was his fault.
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Mark T
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I'd be extremely cheesed with this "friend". I might first seek redress from the game store since the damage occurred while it was in their possession, but I'd also express my extreme displeasure to the friend who loaned out what was not theirs to loan. If the store didn't make it right, I'd probably expect the friend to pony up.

Finally I would never loan this person anything ever again.
 
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