The Steak Fairy
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1) Do you ever eat fish? (If your answer is "don't know" proceed to question 47).

2) When was the last time you were eaten by a fish? ("Eaten" can mean nibbled or partially digested--you need not have been completely consumed by a fish for the purposes of this question.)

3) Would you rather eat a fish or be eaten by a fish?

4) How would Jesus answer question 3?

5) Have you ever nibbled the body of Christ? (The body of Christ is the Eucharist wafer for this question, not the physical remains of Jesus Christ.)

6) Would you attend Catholic Mass more frequently if the official wafer of the Eucharist were Nabisco's Nilla Wafer?

7) Were the first Jews idiots for thinking that a savior was on the way?

8) How about later Jews?

9) Which seems less likely of the following statements:

a) A savior is on the way.
b) A savior has already been here.

10) Is the Zen Buddhist practice of snapping one's fingers three times at a toilet more or less inane than other religious expression? (If you find no religious expression to be inane, proceed to question 47.)

11) Would you rather sodomize a Gomorran or sing "How Are Things in Glocca Morra?" (No preference, proceed to question 47.)

12) Without looking, if you're still taking this survey, what do you think question 47 asks?

13) A big Indian and a little Indian are standing on a hill. The big Indian says, "The little Indian is my son, but I am not his father." The little Indian bursts into tears. Which Indian is Mohandas K. Gandhi?

14) If Brahma died, would Vishnu sit shiva?
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47. If Mike Tyson bites off Jesus’ ear in a fight, is it a foul or a sacrament?
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Phil Shepherd
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MisterCranky wrote:
1) Do you ever eat fish? (If your answer is "don't know" proceed to question 47).


Not since 1975.

MisterCranky wrote:

2) When was the last time you were eaten by a fish? ("Eaten" can mean nibbled or partially digested--you need not have been completely consumed by a fish for the purposes of this question.)


Summer of 1975, in a New England town called Amity.


MisterCranky wrote:

3) Would you rather eat a fish or be eaten by a fish?


I'm sorry Joshua, I cannot continue with the survey: answering #2 has drudged up too many traumatic memories. DAMMIT QUINT! Why couldn't you have brought a bigger boat???

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The Steak Fairy
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Speaking of Quint: Was he more fond of Quisp or Quake?
 
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Phil Shepherd
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MisterCranky wrote:
Speaking of Quint: Was he more fond of Quisp or Quake?


I can't say for sure, as my memories on the subject are a bit hazy now, but he may have mentioned that he'd have liked to have had Quisp around when the Indianapolis sunk, as he could have used the propeller to fend of the sharks with their damned dolls' eyes.
 
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My son received first communion last month. They used nilla wafers for practice.

He asked me to buy him nilla wafers.

Still hasn't asked me to go to church...
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Jorge Montero
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A wafer won't make a kid go to church. Maybe some kids might go if they served it with half a bottle of wine.

Either way Cranky, I love fish, so I try to avoid eating them. On the other hand, I hate cows.
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Quote:
14) If Brahma died, would Vishnu sit shiva?


Only the Ramberg incarnation.

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John O'Haver
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Quoted from the other Time (fill in the blank) Spent Survey thread.


scribidinus wrote:
Completing this survey would not be time well spent.



However as a courtesy to the OP...


I do not buy fish from on-line fish resellers. I have pre-ordered fish in order to insure the fish I want are eventually released but not just for the discount. I try to support my FLFS as much as possible even if I pay more. Having a fish in the logo of a fish store makes sense but in any other context it would make no difference to me and may only confuse people.






 
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MisterCranky wrote:
6) Would you attend Catholic Mass more frequently if the official wafer of the Eucharist were Nabisco's Nilla Wafer?


While I do love the Nilla Wafer, I've decided to stick with the low-cholesterol Eucharist confection, I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus.
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Please rate your level of embarrasement after taking the survey:

1) Slightly Embarrassed

2) Hello

3) Good Evening!!!
 
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Since I answered the other one, I feel honour bound to fill this in just as truthfully.

1) Do you ever eat fish? (If your answer is "don't know" proceed to question 47).
No, I am a strict vegan.

2) When was the last time you were eaten by a fish? ("Eaten" can mean nibbled or partially digested--you need not have been completely consumed by a fish for the purposes of this question.)
A few years ago (5?), a school of tiny fish attached to my individual leg hairs while I was swimming in a billabong.

3) Would you rather eat a fish or be eaten by a fish?
Hmmm. Be eaten, if the caveats in Q2 apply.

4) How would Jesus answer question 3?
Probably: Ai yi yi! No habla Inglese.

5) Have you ever nibbled the body of Christ? (The body of Christ is the Eucharist wafer for this question, not the physical remains of Jesus Christ.)
Not that I know of. I do drink a lot of red wine tho'.

I have a fond memory of attending some religious service as a youngster. I think it was when my father got remarried. Anyway, the priest walked over to my little sister and placed a bible in her hands. "Little girl", he asked, "do you know what this is?" Her eyes lit up -- she could answer this one! "It's a bible! We don't have one at home, but we have a dictionary."

6) Would you attend Catholic Mass more frequently if the official wafer of the Eucharist were Nabisco's Nilla Wafer?
That's modernising it for the kids, eh? Beats rock music.

7) Were the first Jews idiots for thinking that a savior was on the way?
Nah. That was back in the day before TV was invented; people were optimists then.

8) How about later Jews?
You couldn't accuse them of optimism.

9) Which seems less likely of the following statements:

a) A savior is on the way.
b) A savior has already been here.
I'll go with b as less likely, since the joint doesn't really have that utopian look about it right now.

10) Is the Zen Buddhist practice of snapping one's fingers three times at a toilet more or less inane than other religious expression? (If you find no religious expression to be inane, proceed to question 47.)
I reckon it's more inane than the ritualised red wine drinking mentioned above. Personally I reckon the Shingon Buddhists have the best wacky rituals, so I'll be spending new years eve with them.

11) Would you rather sodomize a Gomorran or sing "How Are Things in Glocca Morra?" (No preference, proceed to question 47.)
Depends on the Gommoran, I guess.

12) Without looking, if you're still taking this survey, what do you think question 47 asks?
"A queuing system has m servers, each with service time an independent k-Erlang distributed variable with parameter lambda. Customers arrive according to the Poisson process. What is the average time in system?"

13) A big Indian and a little Indian are standing on a hill. The big Indian says, "The little Indian is my son, but I am not his father." The little Indian bursts into tears. Which Indian is Mohandas K. Gandhi?
Woah, I'm not touching that one.

14) If Brahma died, would Vishnu sit shiva?
Until Brahma had been around karma's wheel, yes.
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Robert Wesley
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Hey! can I get some thumbsup from you "slackadaisical" folks? You know SOME of us here actually 'do' things for the "Hobby", or the fun of this, and even as regards the "fish", so yes, JUST for the "halibut"!
surprise
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Thanks, but I actually meant with the likes of THIS!

http://www.boardgamegeek.com/article/1532654#1532654

 
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How'd you like a thumb in your eye, Grogs? Keep your Fortress America drivel out of my poorly spent time thread.
 
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Apparently nobody is interested in GeekQuestions anymore and now MisterCranky is trying his luck elsewhere
 
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It is not clear that anybody ever really was interested in GeekQuestions. Don't you have some shampoo commercial or something to watch? Go suck a nipple.
 
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