Vinny here. With Jimmy "the Brains," "Knuckles" and Tommy, too.
We gots a story to tell you, see? And you better listen, or we'll pump ya full of lead!
Mayhem City ain't a place for the weak of heart. But gangsters like us, the Luciano Gang, are right at home. Plenty of back alleys and seedy joints, what else can you ask for? And with T.A.B.S. right in the middle of the city, there's always a little bit of crime to get involved in.
That is, until the zombies showed up, see? Those undead totally messed up a big job the Boss had! We would have made some serious spinach, and gold!, but those things popped up one day, things went sour, and next thing you know Boss Luciano was snatched! Just like that, along with the gold!
So, what else were were going to do? I got the boys together and we headed into the heart of the city to search for the Boss. We knew those slimey T.A.B.S monkeys were going to transport the Boss AND the gold in a couple of big, human-size cases. Those rats! We had to find them both, and get out of there...apparently there was some bomb to go off! Told you them zombies were no good.
We barely crossed the street at Wellington and Second when those undeads started shuffling after us! Well I wasn't going to take no chances! I pumped them full of it from down the street.
Knuckles thought he saw a crate on the other side of some fence, so we went in...into a cemetary! Yee gad! Who goes into a cemetary when zombies are oozing around!?
Luckly there weren't any there...but neither was the Boss, so we kept looking.
Across the underground tracks was a gun shop. We knew if we were going to go deeper into the city, we'd need to pack some high-end heat. Just as Jimmy reached the door, out popped a couple gents and some broad! They ran down the back alley, yelling back "I wouldn't go in there!" Well, Jimmy ain't one to listen to no mercenaries or whatever they were, so he stepped in. Wouldn't you know it! A bunch of them undeads just hanging about the store, with more at the front door trying to get in! Well Jimmy just shut the door and said "fuhgettaboutit!"
Tommy found a crate behind the shop. Apparently the owners didn't have time to unload their last shipment before those zombies came...a bunch of grenade launchers just sitting there! Tommy gave his tommy gun to Knuckles and picked up the launcher with a smile.
Well, thank goodness he got that, as a baker's dozen of undeads came around the corner, moaning and groaning! Tommy launched a couple of grenades down their way. Well, let's just say they ain't undead no more.
We went into the next building and found another crate. We knew this had to be it. Well, Knuckles wasn't so happy when he found it empty. He kicked the wall really hard...and that attracted some more zombies. We had to get outta there!
Across the street was the T.A.B.S. headquarters, and beside it the city bank. Too bad we had work to do, 'cause hitting the bank would have been good for business, if you know what I mean.
We decided to split up, I took Jimmy with me, Tommy and Knuckles going the other way.
Jimmy and me went into some hotel, and found another crate. Time was running out, so we hoped it was the Boss. Well, it wasn't. But boy, oh, boy, was it ever shiney! A big crate full of gold bars! There's something special about a crate full of gold, I tells ya.
Well, Jimmy and me pulled the crate onto the street, where Knuckles and Tommy were waiting for us. They couldn't find the Boss, and we all figured he was locked up somewhere in the T.A.B.S. tower. And so was that bomb we heard about.
With a few minutes to go before the bib boom, we made our decision.
Well, it's a week later and the gang has a new name, Vinny's Boys.
The city went up in smoke that day, and so did them undeads. Unfortunately, so did Boss Luciano. R.I.P. Boss, R.I.P.
Now, time to spend this crate of gold on gangster goodness!