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Subject: How do you make your lady a gamer? (Ladies?) rss

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Andy Szymas
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cmyers1219 wrote:
I don't think true gamers are ever born. I think they are made and I would love your secrets on how to make them. How do you get your lady interested in gaming in a way that the board game night will replace Grey's Anatomy?


I'd start by recognizing that not all ladies like Grey's Anatomy, and sexist assumptions like that don't really work in your favor.
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Duncan Russell
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Here we go again!
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Sharon Clayton
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Well, i can't speak for any other lady-type person, but for myself, i was into games long before i met my husband. Not that they were hobby games (i didn't know such a thing existed until a few years ago), but i played lots of "regular" games. In my family, it was the women who played games while the men hung out in their own corner "talking shop". I remember watching my grandmother, mom, aunts & sister play things like cribbage, scrabble, tri-ominoes, etc. I couldn't wait until i was considered old enough to be allowed to join in. And i played lots of boardgames with my girlfriends...we played anything we could find & even made up rules if we found a game in someone's closet w/no rule book.
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Cain Myers
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Hahahaha! I'm using my real life situation Andy. I would do almost anything to get her half as interested in gaming as that show and show's like it.

By no means was I trying to be sexist or put any ladies in a box that my wife is enjoying at this moment.

Thanks for your feedback though.
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Cain Myers
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Thank you Sharon! I love hearing stories like that. My wife did enjoy playing cards with her grandmother growing up but I'm having trouble finding board games she likes.

I'm into fantasy, which she is not, I love a challenge, which she would rather not have to think so hard. Please don't hear any of this as a slight against my wife, I'm just need help with some awesome game ideas or suggestions that could improve my situation.

In the end if she never plays a game it won't affect our relationship or marriage.
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Sharon Clayton
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You might try asking her what games she remembers playing w/her grandmother & playing those w/her some time if she would like. She'll enjoy playing something familiar w/happy memories associated & you might get an idea for the kinds of "new" games she might like based on those games. And who knows, you might find a few treasures among those old games. Heck, i still play cribbage w/my mom & sister occasionally (they both take great pleasure in cleaning my clock!) Also, my parents keep trying to teach me to play Euchre & think it is funny that i can't seem to wrap my head around it (esp. since i play all these "games with weird names" as they call eurogames)
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Duncan Russell
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I love mountain biking and working backstage (and occasionally on the stage) in amateur theatre. It would be great if my wife shared these interests, but she doesn't. And I just accept that. I don't try to change her or dream up ways to make her do these activities.
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Posthumous Jones
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You could have gaming night on Wednesday. Shonda Rhimes owns Thursday. Also, your post should come with a smooth jazz soundtrack, or maybe a quiet storm kinda thing.
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In order to train your [potential gaming partner] into regular gaming session, you should try a punishment/reward system.

Propose a game night. If they agree, give them a treat. If they refuse, spritz them with a squirt bottle.
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S Padilla

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cmyers1219 wrote:
Gentlemen,

I don't think true gamers are ever born. I think they are made and I would love your secrets on how to make them. How do you get your lady interested in gaming in a way that the board game night will replace Grey's Anatomy?

Ladies,

If you are a true gamer, I'm assuming you are if you are on BGG, what made you get into gaming? Were you born that way with a special tilt towards having fun and beating up boys or did you have a loving man come your way and walk you down the glorious path of gaming?

Would love any advice/feedback/prayers. Thank you all.



Board gaming night will NEVER replace Grey's Anatomy or staring at "McDreamy" shake It can't even replace Walking Dead nights --- a tv show I actually enjoy!

I'm a lady and I just got into boarding game seriously over the past year or so. I've been known to dive deep into hobbies, and Boardgaming is currently my newest hobby. I have and still do enjoy beating up on boys, but did not have anyone walk me down the glorious path of gaming... I discovered the joys of gaming on my own! My experience was mostly with Monopoly when I was a child. A friend introduced me to Catan and I explored from there.

You can't make your lady a gamer. If she's not that interested, just do the things with her that she enjoys!! She she may support you, she may even play a few games with you --- but if it's just not really her thing - don't try to make it her thing.

IF there is ONE game that she loves playing with you - play that ONE game with her. If she loves group gatherings with friends - try a social/party game. Do the things that she enjoys, perhaps entice her with a game theme she enjoys -- start from there.





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I have a cousin who has seriously hated board games all her life. I mentioned going to an escape room and she had forty questions and wished she had gone. Maybe make the gaming evening a social event?
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Trent Boardgamer
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I'm yet to find anyone I've not been able to entice into playing games, however the level of future eagerness is something you can't really control.

People's enjoyment of games just seems to vary, much like it does with most things in life.

Now that said, to get resistant people on board with playing games, I find just starting with easy fun games does the trick. Once people get some exposure it's fairly easy to have a discussion with them about more dedicated games they may or may not wish to play in the future.

My wife is a non-gamer but she will still play games at least once a week with me and enjoy it, simply because I choose games I know she will enjoy.

Knowing what's fun about certain games is key and knowing what she finds fun.

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Kate
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You're gonna get a tiny bit of backlash for this thread, and even I had a bit of a 'yuck' face on when I read the OP, just because you've laid the gender thing on quite thick.

Tbh I think I was born a gamer (though I don't like beating up boys, I like building farms), and once I heard about BGG I was on here figuring things out for myself. I took the leap from Monopoly and Catan to other things pretty quickly, and very much on my own steam. Luckily I'm now with someone who loves games as much as I do (though I definitely helped further his exposure).

Some well-meaning advice: figure out what your wife likes, and create a thread in the Recommendations forum asking for games that fit that theme or style of gameplay. You aren't meaning to come off sexist, but it seems it when you lump the ladies all in together and assume we had men teach us about gaming. I know I wouldn't appreciate my bf asking an online forum how to get me interested in League of Legends or Warhammer, when he should be just asking me what aspects about it I find interesting (if any).
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Murray Grelis
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People are all different, some dig it, some don't. It's not really a gender thing. I have had great success getting non gamers interested via Carcassonne. I suppose there are other good gateway games that could also work.
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Larry L
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I don't know. After the grave robbing, you have to find just the right brain. Is this for Valentine's Day? You might want to try stick to something more conventional (chocolates, flowers), but points for originality, right?

 
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Craig Fox
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Eye of newt and toe of frog.
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Melody Klein
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cmyers1219 wrote:
Ladies,

If you are a true gamer, I'm assuming you are if you are on BGG, what made you get into gaming? Were you born that way with a special tilt towards having fun and beating up boys


Saw Tabletop, looked fun, got a couple of games (Munchkin Apocalypse & Small World) with my girlfriend at the time and played with her and friends, they were fun, but not so much as to actually get me into the hobby. A year later a friend asked me what I want for my birthday, and I gave boardgaming another shot, this time with Neuroshima Hex. This was enough to get me into the hobby.

cmyers1219 wrote:
or did you have a loving man come your way and walk you down the glorious path of gaming?


Ugh.
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1. One way to go are to find games with themes that maches her nongaming hobbies or interests.
My gf forexample loves horror movies and crochet, so she was predisposed to like Patchwork and Mansion of madness 2'ed....and lo and behold, she loved those two games

2. Also you proberly have an idea if she is a teamwork(co-op)or competitive type person and if she is a fast impatient(amtrash) vs slow methodical(euro) thinker.

3. The last thing is maybe the hardest(depending on your situation), but leaving yourself a bit vulnerable and try to explain what the hobby means to you and ask her to give it a fair shake.

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cmyers1219 wrote:
Gentlemen,

All of you who have spouses or significant others who don't play games this thread is for you.

For all the guys out there that have ladies who love gaming as much or more than you do... I dislike you. I don't really dislike you, I'm just jealous of how glorious your life must be.

I don't think true gamers are ever born. I think they are made and I would love your secrets on how to make them. How do you get your lady interested in gaming in a way that the board game night will replace Grey's Anatomy?

Ladies,

If you are a true gamer, I'm assuming you are if you are on BGG, what made you get into gaming? Were you born that way with a special tilt towards having fun and beating up boys or did you have a loving man come your way and walk you down the glorious path of gaming?

Would love any advice/feedback/prayers. Thank you all.


Mine is interested in board games and we never play together, 2 players, because of how overly competitive we can be so no, there is nothing to be jealous of.
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I might not be very ladylike all of the time, but a lady I am none the less.

My family are gamers, my parents have a huge gaming collection and their parents loved and passed down games as well.

There is nothing linked to gender that makes someone want to game more, be competitive, better handle high conflict fun... They either like it or they don't, or perhaps they either like it with the people they have played with or they don't.

If your wife "doesn't like gaming" she either 1) doesn't like gaming (which is no less or more a possibility if she were male). 2) doesn't like the games you are playing. 3) doesn't like gaming with you. And she most likely doesn't know which it is if she has only ever played your games, with you.

If I would be so bold as to be an enabler, possibly expand your collection to include more variety. Not just the things in your personal radar. Unless you have a well rounded collection already.

My suggestion is to try and find a very nice FLGS, take her there and let her walk around and look at stuff on her own. She might even become interested in a game you already own but she never noticed. If you live in the Midwest I'm Board games in the Madison WI area is worth the trip.

If after that she has no interest it is either 1) or 3)
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Kristian Karlsek
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I'm of the opinion that "gamers" are going to naturally gravitate towards the hobby as they are exposed to it. If you have exposed your significant other to gaming and he/she showed little to no interest, I'd really advice against pushing the issue.

It's pretty great getting to share a hobby with your loved one, but take a step back and realize that just having a loved one is pretty great just by itself.

If he/she is still humoring you by playing games with you from time to time, I would consider myself lucky. I would suggest honing in on the type of game they seem to enjoy the most, and also to invest yourself in their hobbies as well.

Of course this isn't just limited to spouses, you could use the same advice for any close relation.
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Amin
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Being married myself, I couldn't get my wife into boardgames and that's fine, it's not for everybody. I suggest you either find a girl who's already into boardgames, play solo or find of establish a gaming group.
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I'm female and I'm the one struggling to get my (male) partner into games!

I had a German friend at school and I often visited her house, where there was a selection of German board games and a tradition of playing a game after dinner. I got hooked on Carcassonne and Zug um Zug. I would say it went from there but after going our separate ways for university, work, etc., I didn't really give it much thought. Then a couple of years ago I suddenly thought of those games and how enjoyable they were, looked them up, ended up on this site, got hooked, started buying games, and there you go...

Get something simple to learn but engaging that matches one or more of her interests and sound enthusiastic about it 'I got this for us, I thought it would be really nice to play it together'. Don't push, though. If she does play it, see how it goes. Gauge her interest. Let her get into it and see if she gets that 'need to play again' feeling. If she does, see what aspects she likes about it and try to let that inform your next purchase/the next game you try with her. Sometimes some people just aren't interested, though, so don't push or you'll put her off altogether. If you think Carcassonne might appeal, do try that one! It seems to get so many people into it.
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Duncan Russell
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"I suggest you either find a girl who's already into boardgames, play solo or find of establish a gaming group."

Finally some good advice: dump your wife and find another one.
 
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Ciel
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cmyers1219 wrote:
Gentlemen,

All of you who have spouses or significant others who don't play games this thread is for you.

For all the guys out there that have ladies who love gaming as much or more than you do... I dislike you. I don't really dislike you, I'm just jealous of how glorious your life must be.

I don't think true gamers are ever born. I think they are made and I would love your secrets on how to make them. How do you get your lady interested in gaming in a way that the board game night will replace Grey's Anatomy?

Ladies,

If you are a true gamer, I'm assuming you are if you are on BGG, what made you get into gaming? Were you born that way with a special tilt towards having fun and beating up boys or did you have a loving man come your way and walk you down the glorious path of gaming?

Would love any advice/feedback/prayers. Thank you all.


Firstly "True gamer" is a really annoying term. It has a sense of ego to it, like the "You're not a real fan"

"Having fun beating up boys"
Uh, no. I come from a competitive fighting game background and the idea that it's boys vs girls forever ticks me off. Especially with the "Loving man that walked you down the path" Other way, I introduced my boyfriend to it. Men are not the leaders here.

Maybe stop having these assumptions first. You can't make someone like something. But if you are going to try, I'd suggest going with something that's a theme she's into. Start light.
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