Captain Tuttle
Antarctica
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Captain Tuttle
Antarctica
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"Dearest Ophelia: Things are going better at the front. I'm still stuck inside that stupid observation post, but I feel much safer now that they've added chicken wire."
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Charles Lewis
United States
West Des Moines
IA
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"I'll give you 3 meal portions for this captured intel."
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Jim Ransom
United States
Jacksonville
Florida
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There are two kinds of ships: Submarines, and Targets.
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quinonoid wrote:



Halfway through his motivational speech to the troops before they jumped off for the German trenchline, Major Chiltington looked up and realized he had somehow not achieved the results he was hoping for.
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Captain Tuttle
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quinonoid wrote:



"Let's do a Desert ASL LARP, they said! It'll be fun, they said!"
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Carsten Bohne
Germany
Duisburg
NRW
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World famous botanist Sir Charles Trye-Huggre knew that those rare specimens of Populus tremula startled easily. Thus he approached the grove disguised in the wintery habit of the Betula pendula native to the region.
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Andy Beaton
Canada
Toronto
Ontario
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I have a cunning plan
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quinonoid wrote:



I confess before this court that I am not really an Ent and throw myself upon your clemency.
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Lucius Cornelius
United States
Rome
SPQR
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Lord Protector of Nothing in Particular
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Captain Johnson realized all his messenger pigeons have perished by German interceptor hawks or simply deserted, especially the one that pooped on his head and cried: Adios, sucka!
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Andrew J
United Kingdom
Edinburgh
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As Captain Smythe ran through his lines before the final dress rehearsal of 4th Division's Christmas pantomime, "Jack and the Beanstalk", he couldn't help thinking how much he would have preferred the part of Jack.
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Osprey
United States
West Virginia
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Errg...Argh..
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quinonoid wrote:



"Yes..Yes...and here's yet another one you won't want to hear....AND WHERE THE BLOODY HELL ARE THOSE TOMATOES COMING FROM!!???"
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Peter Lloyd
United States
Longmont
Colorado
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1. I will not "chicken dance" at the officer's ball!
2. I will not "chicken dance" at the officer's ball!
3. I will not "chicken dance" at the officer's ball!
....
56. I will not "chicken dance" at the officer's ball!
57. I will not "chicken dance" at the officer's ball!
....
316. I will not "chicken dance" at the officer's ball!
317. I will not "chicken dance" at the officer's ball!
....
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Jeff Saxton
United States
Affton (St. Louis)
Missouri
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After all, gas can is my middle name. Eh, not really.
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This never happens to the officers with capable batmen.
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Brent Pollock
Canada
Saskatoon
Saskatchewan
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Grandpapa Teddy, Burning Man, 1917
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Paul Brillantes
United States
Livermore
California
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One last tour here on the Death Star and I can retire. What was that noise?!
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Welcome to the 33rd Division (Illinois National Guard) Pageant! First up... The Blues Brothers cover 'Rawhide'!
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ian morris
United Kingdom
Birmingham
West Mids
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quinonoid wrote:




"No, I've never seen The Wicker Man, why do you ask ?"


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J.L. Robert
United States
Sherman Oaks
California
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Sgt. Rossiter was the inspiration for the character of Roz in Monsters Inc.

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M Smith
United Kingdom
UK
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Yes father , I have decided to be a packet of Trevor softmints.....'NOooooooooo'
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Jenkins was the test subject for the experimental merging of the 6th Para and 2nd Mortar platoon.
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Written on the paper'Remember not to face the sun with the desert periscope.the interior will get quite hot old boy.'
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Jim P.
United States
Champaign
Illinois
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"Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.
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quinonoid wrote:


During construction, Cpt. John Morrow - Commanding officer for the front right fetlock, was very positive about the plan; but as zero day approached, the thought that someone in the German High Command might have read The Iliad became an increasingly nagging concern.
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United States
Apex
NC
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quinonoid wrote:



The moment of sudden realization for Harold that this sounded a lot better over pints the night before....
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Bob Zurunkel
United States
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quinonoid wrote:



"Dear Diary - Apparently, only God can make a tree."
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Andrew Kluessendorf
United States
Waukesha
Wisconsin
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... that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -Benjamin Franklin-
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quinonoid wrote:



Finally, I've received my shrubbery!



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United States
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quinonoid wrote:



Mobile Pigeon Recon Unit ready for action, sir!


(No joke)
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J.L. Robert
United States
Sherman Oaks
California
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And now for something completely different.
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