Bryan K
United States
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Previous Adventures:
Following the Advice of Lefty McGrady Vol. 1

Chasing Lefty McGrady Vol. 2

Following the Path of Destruction Vol. 3

Hanging by a Thread Vol. 4

A Tall Tail Vol. 5

Mutant Quarter Bank Heist Gone Wrong Vol. 6

Brodie, the Blacksmith: WUR in Trouble

Leaving my family behind me
not knowing what lay ahead
waving goodbye, as I left them in tears
remembering all we'd said

I looked to the sky, I offered my prayers
I asked Him for guidance and strength
but the simple beliefs of a simple man
lay in His hands, and on my head

~Genesis, Driving the Last Spike

It ain't worth, $650 dollars if I don't ever get to see my family again. But, ever since that cult of Void Sorcerers came through town, people haven't been visiting town as much. A blacksmith has to make a living. So, this Preacher came by and asked if I was interested in a job. He said he found a map on a dead void sorcerer. He thinks it leads to their stash of ancient artifacts. Seemed like a nice guy, but he's got a weird party with him: a slow moving rock-thing that calls himself Sheriff, a lizard like Orphan with a fused fingers, and an Outlaw carrying more garbage than a hoarder in a junkyard. Preacher, himself, had a weird tentacle arm.
I should've turned around and ran when space and time opened up around us at the mine entrance.

At first it was just three tentacles…I think I earned my cash when I dropped two of the beasts coming out of the ground…but things took a turn for the worse.

Three void hounds and two void sorcerers' surrounded us. "It's a trap!!!" yelled the Preacher…

This wasn't a treasure trip, it was going to be our tomb. "Brodie, take the one in back…Take this, you janky wizards." The rock man yelled and started unloading on the beasts of the void. When our foes had fallen I half expected us all to leave that forsaken place.

"There's marking on the ground here by the water…looks like a spot where we could put something in the ground. I think I might have an amulet that fits in there." Miller, the Outlaw, searched through his pockets, his satchel, his backpack, his second backpack. "Here we go, this should fit in there!"

"Don't do it, Miller!" said everyone.

All of sudden a blinding light filled the room, and another dimension was opened before us. Heat poured the portal, a hell-like world lay before us. Screams of the Damned echoed through the caverns. Fire erupted from the ground, and ash thickened the air making it hard to breath. My Lord! Time to leave…

"Let's go in..Meat shield you go first, its what we are paying you for." Miller said to me.

We walked through the fires of hell, dodging waterfalls of lava. Coming into a large cavernous room, we took the stairs down. Things got weird when a large Soldier Statue erupted with a command, "Only the righteous shall pass!"

"This should be easy then." The Preacher walked across the room no problem.. Bo the Orphan followed, and I went next. No problems. The sheriff slowly made his way, and then Miller the Outlaw.

"You have been judged…unworthy.." The statues eyes lit up yellow like the sun. Miller began screaming…

"My clothes!! They're on fire…my stuff!" Miller took his clothes off faster than you can say "highly inappropriate".

We ran to the next room, Miller still in his skimpies trying to put the flames out…a shadowy figure was in the corner. Maybe a lost villager needing help…

Then, the mysterious figure rose and turned around. He grew and grew, and GREW! He was easily the height of two men, maybe three. "I AM THE VOID MAGUS, LEADER OF THE ORDER OF HERAZADUM."

"Ha ha, leader of the dumb dumbs.", said Miller. "Prepare to meet Estúpido and idiota…" The giant mage looked down at Bo.


" 'WUR' not interested in your dum dum cult, or your stupid stories. I'm here for the loot." Miller standing in his whitey tighties didn't look very intimidating. But, the two outlaw pistols infused with dark stone did. BANG! He shot the Mage right in the head and he went down.

"MILLER! He was telling me about my dad!" Bo took out his gun and pointed it right at Miller's sweaty brow beaten face.

Then, the Mage rose again even bigger than before.

"NOW, YOU ALL SHALL DIE!!! THE THREE SEALS OF BELI'AL HAVE BEEN OPENED AGAIN. THE LORD IS RETURNING TO THE REALM OF MAN AND NO ONE CAN STOP HIM. PREPARE TO DIE AT THE HAND OF THE HERAZADUM!!!" With words from the Book of Herazadum, the sorcerer cast a spell opening up the rocky lava in front of us. Three Lava Men and several spectral enemies rose from the ground.

"'WUR' dead…" said McEmerson.

Before we could even react, the mage shot a lightning bolt and fried Miller right in the keyster…"Yikes! Retreat…", he yelped. He fell back leaving the little Orphan to take all the damage. I slowly hid behind them all, just hoping to survive…

Then, the dynamite came. Father Patrick lit up two sticks waited, waited. And then TOSSED the glowing sticks into the bodies of undead and Lava Men. The right appendage of the lava man blew off falling to the ground; a few undead loss a limb or two slowing the onslaught. But, the orphan was beaten down pretty good. Burn marks light up his back and neck. "I got you Bo…" said the Sheriff. McEmerson slowly trotted out to take the blows away from the Orphan.

"I got something for those burns…" Miller took something out of his fanny pack he was dragging behind him. Then, the Lava Men began to step on the magma in the floor, regenerating their wounds!

The Rockman attacked the Lava Men in an Element vs. Element battle of the ages. Darkstone infused bullets rained down from the naked Outlaw. I set up as a sniper picking off the dead as they approached. "Brodie, get in there and pin that huge void sorcerer down!" yelled Father Patrick as he patched up the wounded Orphan with some mysterious spice from the jungles of Jango.

Gulp…this could be it. Go up against that thing? I thought about the money I got for coming here. Handing it over to my wife as we embraced, patting my son on his head, maybe for the last time. My knees quivered, and I began to walk what seemed like a mile toward my certain death. I fired everything I had at that sorcerer.

We pinned the giant into the corner. Through lightning falling and wicked spells that fed off the mutations of the flesh, we managed to get the upper hand. We spent every bandage we had, and we're badly hurt until the final blow came. Struggling to grasp reality, with our sanity barely in check, and a few breaths away from collapsing, we rose victorious.

Then, we realized exactly where we were standing. It wasn't a dead end. There were three tunnels with an ancient seal at the base of each. We were standing at the threshold of the Throne of Beli'al. Three broken seals were all that stood between us and the eminent horrors from the Lord of Darkness. We could here chanting in the distance, the ritual to summon Beli'al had begun.

"'WUR' gonna have to close these seals…or 'WUR' doomed…"

"This is so janky…"
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