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Subject: How stress will kill you rss

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¡dn ʇǝƃ ʇ,uɐɔ ı puɐ uǝllɐɟ ǝʌ,ı
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Life lesson: Hamsters are NOT diswasher safe.
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There are 10 types of people-- those who understand binary, and those who don't.
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I was at a birthday party on Saturday; it was out of town, an hour and a half drive from home to the house of my wife's "best" friend.
I rarely go to these things, for reasons that will become apparent if you choose to keep reading. But I could tell that this one was imnportant to my wife so I agreed to go.

The birthday "girl" was turning 53. For a 53 year-old, she looked like she was turning 65.
I was rather shocked to see the change in her from about 5 or 6 years ago. My wife is 5 years older than her and looks about 20 years younger.

She left no one in any doubt that the celebration was all about her. She was holding court as we sat around in the living room, and only her stories mattered.
This was her weekend. Her friends. Her party.
Mock tears were flowing from her eyes as she expressed her gratitude to all of her best friends attending, most from her own city but a few of us from further afield.
It was 4:30pm and she'd already been drinking with two friends for a while when we got there. It only got worse as the booze went down.

Have you ever met someone who was a black hole of despair? Someone whose life has gone sour, for reasons unfathomable to them but fairly apparent to an unbiased outsider?

She is a single mother of an 18 year old boy; divorced about 12 years ago and seemingly unable to have another meaningful relationship.
She asked us, how someone as smart and as pretty as her couldn't find a man worthy of her?
I had answers readily spring to my mind, but I left my opinions unsaid. Enormous ego; a pathelogical need to be "right" all of the time; constantly railing about the injustices in society and how poorly people treat each other.
The biggest "wet blanket" on earth today, in other words.

She's overweight because of the constant pain that she is in not allowing her to exercise, not because of the 4 trays of chips and cheese that we're snacking from.
The contents of her fridge looked like they came from a circus midway, or a 7-11.

How about you set aside your opinions and just enjoy yourself and the company of people who can somehow stand to be around you?

The sheer negativity that sustains this woman is staggering. Hasn't slept more than 2 hours at a time in over 15 years. On all kinds of presciption drugs that never seem to do what she thinks that they should do. She's "basically quit smoking" almost every time since I've known her, so that's over 20 years now that she only has "one or two cigarettes a day".
I watched her pack go from full to almost empty in 7 hours.

I honestly believe that if something good were to happen to her, she'd find a way to screw it up because she doesn't know how to be happy.
If she can't complain about something, then there's something wrong.

Have you ever met one of these poor hapless souls?
Someone who can't keep a job, or keep a mate?
Someone who was in another car accident the other day because the other person wasn't paying attention. That's seven not-their-fault accidents so far; such bad luck, I tell you!

I was exhausted all day yesterday, after we got home (we spent the night there).
Thanks for letting me vent, and thank the stars for Chit Chat and EPYC today! I'm starting to get back to normal now.
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David Jones
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MABBY wrote:
Have you ever met someone who was a black hole of despair? Someone whose life has gone sour, for reasons unfathomable to them but fairly apparent to an unbiased outsider?


I really wish you wouldn't make fun of me like this in public. cry
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Matt
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This frequently happens with narcissists (true narcissists, not vain people) with massively overinflated senses of self worth. The mother of one of my friends in high school was textbook.

You are witnessing first-hand the result of her massive disconnect (not sure what the behavioral psych term for this is...): "My life isn't as good as I perceive that it should be (or that I deserve!), therefore there must be some universal force that is actively working against me, therefore there is no reason I need to make an effort to stay grounded and healthy, because there's no point."

Getting over self-entitlement is the first step to recovery, but after the age of 9 that's pretty damn hard to do. Hopefully your wife can see this event as a good reason to reduce the influence of this toxic person on your lives.
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¡dn ʇǝƃ ʇ,uɐɔ ı puɐ uǝllɐɟ ǝʌ,ı
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Life lesson: Hamsters are NOT diswasher safe.
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If she played wargames, the nuclear option would be exercised regularly. DEFCON 5 is the natural state of being. laugh
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Rusty McFisticuffs
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Koldfoot wrote:
Let me guess.

She is a war gamer, right? Or right?

FLAGGED
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shumyum
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'61/'65:


Harry Truman '45/'53:
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John O'Haver PhoDOGrapher
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My coworker Handsome Doug is a ball of negative energy. Especially on Monday mornings. Molly and I cannot recall a single instance where he had a weekend that didn't suck in the 6 years we've all worked together.

It was too hot or too cold, his friends came over or they didn't come over... nothing good ever happens to him. He sucks the joy out of every day by focusing on and calling our attention to any and every bit of depressing news he hears or sees.
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Walt
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Before terraforming Mars, Surviving Mars is required: Paradox Interactive; Steam.
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MABBY wrote:
Have you ever met someone who was a black hole of despair? Someone whose life has gone sour, for reasons unfathomable to them but fairly apparent to an unbiased outsider?

I'm not sure she was despairing, but mean-spirited.

"When you were 5 you kicked my shin!" (Which one? I want to kick the other one now.)

She had kids and an amazingly well-adjusted and successful husband, who after retirement spent as much time as possible volunteering at church.

She convinced herself he was cheating on her and divorced him--and bad-mouthed him to all their kids. She died in a few years, probably of accumulated bile.

shake
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Avri Balofsky
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Sounds like Borderline Personality Disorder.
People that see every negative thing around them as an intentional personal attack.

We have/had several friends who fall into this catergory. They've typically had a lot of good qualities too, but the constant drama that surrounds them can be quite draining.
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Dennis Ku
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That could be me.
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wayne mathias
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Gee, here I am with possibly a less than ideal lifestyle (low income but plenty of food, shelter, everything I truly desired, and a few things I never even asked for).

So, let us not forget the plight of those of us who DID get what we wanted - perhaps way too soon - and are happy.



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John Hathorn
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shumyum wrote:


'61/'65:


Harry Truman '45/'53:

So you're saying she's President of the United States of America?
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shumyum
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JohnnyOffice wrote:

So you're saying she's President of the United States of America?


She lingered last in line for brains
And the one she got was sorta rotten and insane.
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Xander Fulton
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MABBY wrote:
I honestly believe that if something good were to happen to her, she'd find a way to screw it up because she doesn't know how to be happy.
If she can't complain about something, then there's something wrong.

Have you ever met one of these poor hapless souls?
Someone who can't keep a job, or keep a mate?
Someone who was in another car accident the other day because the other person wasn't paying attention. That's seven not-their-fault accidents so far; such bad luck, I tell you!


FWIW, basically all of my wife and my parents are like that.

We're pretty sure it's their religion. "Whole world in the power of the devil" or something like that - if anything GOOD happens to you, it's because god is blessing you...but that shouldn't happen too often, or it gets suspiciously like it's the devil trying to trick you, instead. Of course, if anything BAD happens to you...that's just proof of how much righteousness you have stored up in heaven, else why would the devil persecute you so much?

Basically narcissism, cloaked in sanctimoniousness. Or something you could make a reasonably good game out of, anyway...


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my FIL is a bitter old bastard but he is living through it so far. he looks way older than he is though.
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John O'Haver PhoDOGrapher
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This morning Handsome Doug showed us pictures of his dead grandmother and told us a sad story about her time in the nursing home.

I asked, "When did she pass away?"
"Oh, a long time ago. I can't remember."
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Mystery McMysteryface
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My mom is similar to the lady you described.

I have to watch myself to not fall into the same thoughts, words, and behaviors since I was surrounded by her negativity for too many years.
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M C
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MABBY wrote:

How about you set aside your opinions and just enjoy yourself and the company of people who can somehow stand to be around you?


That is a very wise statement that too many people forget these days.
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