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Subject: Three heroes survive for 5 rounds at a combined HP of 8 rss

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Arthur Williams
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Baron Blade [32] vs. Prime Wardens Haka [35] vs. Ermine [25] vs. KNYFE [30] vs. Friction [26] vs. Super-Science Tachyon [26] vs. Proletariat [20] vs. Termi-Nation Unity [27] vs. the Court of Blood. All villains are Advanced.

Start of Game: Genetically Fused Physique, Omni-Blade [15], Constant Prattle, Shock Dampeners [9], Stolen Gear [7], and two Proletariats [6] enter play. Haka draws Enduring Intercession x2, Rampage and Elbow Smash. KNYFE draws Amplified Combatant x2, Overcharged Null-Shield, and Flawless Execution. Tachyon draws Nimble Strike, Sonic Vortex, Lightpseed Barrage, and Accelerated Assault. Unity draws Powered Shock Wave, Construction Pylon x2, and Scrap Metal.

BB Turn 1: Plays Vengeful Assault. Haka takes the damage [32], then is hit again by Omni-Blade [29]; meanwhile, Baron Blade hit Tachyon [23]. Thanks to the boost to his own damage, he actually takes both points of damage he deals to himself, but immediately heals anyway.

Haka Turn 1: Plays Rampage, dealing 4 net to the Baron [28], 3 to Omni-Blade [12], 5 to Ermine [20], 4 to Friction [22] and 3 to her toys [6, 4], and extremely killing one Proletariat clone while leaving the other at [1]. Collateral damage leaves the heroes at [27, 28, 21, 25]. With his Power to play an extra card, puts an Elbow Smash on Ermine [17]. Draws Taiaha.

Ermine Turn 1: No hero Ongoings or Equipments to destroy. Plays The Seer [9]. Ermine discards Impromptu Heist and hits Unity for net 3 [22]. The Seer blasts KNYFE for the same [25]. Prattle discards Ta Moko, Battlefield Experience, Quick Insight, Raptor Bot, Negation Bands, Heavy Hitter, Surge Strike, Doc Tusser and Infecting an Heir.

KNYFE Turn 1: Amplified Combatant directly targets the Proletariat Clone and kills it, then hits the real Proletariat twice [18] and Ermine twice [15]. Energy Lance further damages Ermine [13]. Draws Primed Punch.

Friction Turn 1: Plays Supersonic Streak, dealing 3 net to Haka [24]. Hits KNYFE for 2 net [24]. Plays Synergy Surge, dealing 1 to Blade [27], 2 to Ermine [11], 2 to the Seer [7], and 2 to Proletariat [16]. Blade plays Regression Darts, fortunately hitting Haka and KNYFE [22 each], as they’ve already had their turns and the effect will expire before they go again. Less conveniently, the badly-hurting Ermine plays Uncatchable. Friction plays Surge Strike; the Synergy Surge isn’t in her trash yet, so she deals just 2 damage, +1 for the Vengeful Assault, to Unity [20]. Proletariat plays a new Clone and Friction’s turn is finally done.

Tachyon Turn 1: Plays Nimble Strike on Ermine, removing Uncatchable and drawing Synaptic Interruption. Targets Unity’s deck with Experiment, revealing and putting out Volatile Parts and Modular Workbench; there’s a certain irony in this. Draws another Nimble Strike.

Proletariat Turn 1: Plays Vyktor [4]. Deals 3 net to Haka [19], then he resurrects one of his clones [6], and the two clones each deal 3 to one of the other heroes that’s at 22 HP, leaving them all at [19] except Unity.

Unity Turn 1: Draws Flash Forge and Supply Crate.

Environment Turn 1: Plays Feast of Flesh and Blood Countess Bathory [15]. She mauls Unity [16].

BB Turn 2: Vengeful Assault and Regression Darts effects expire. Plays Zhu Long [8]. Deals himself 1 net damage, then heals 2 [28], while hitting Unity for 2 [14]. Omni-Blade hits Haka [17]. Zhu Long looks inscrutable.

Haka Turn 2: Plays and uses Taiaha, dealing 3 to Ermine [8] and net 1 to the Stolen Gear [3]. Draws Vitality Surge.

Ermine Turn 2: Destroys Taiaha. Plays Heavy Hitter, putting Volatile Parts on top of Unity’s deck, and hitting Haka for 3 [14]. Thankfully discards Subtle Diversion, hitting Haka again [12]. Prattle discards Ta Moko again, Prototype Servo-Gauntlet, Blinding Speed, Unity’s Parts, another Vengeful Assault (whew!), Impromptu Heist, The Hippo (whew!), a Clone, and Matron Erzsi. The Seer blasts Tachyon [17].

KNYFE Turn 2: Amplified Combatant again; Ermine takes 2 [6], and one Proletariat Clone is both directly and indirectly targeted, dealing a total of 4 to it [2]. KNYFE then beats up Ermine some more [4]. Draws Focusing Conduit-Blade.

Friction Turn 2: Plays Revenant [10], giving Blade a +1 to damage dealt. Hits KNYFE for 1 [18]. Plays Unchecked Acceleration and hits KNYFE a lot harder [15].

Tachyon Turn 2: Puts down Synaptic Interruption. Activates Experiment on her own deck, getting Hypersonic Assault and Lightspeed Barrage. Alas, the Barrage works sub-optimally because of all the damage reduction on the table; it only stuns Countess Bathory [15], Ermine [3], The Seer [6], and one of the Clones [5], while killing the other Clone and damaging Zhu Long [7], Vyktor [3], and Revenant [9], none of whom actually do damage. The Barrage does only 3 damage; rather than outright finishing off Ermine, she opts to hit her nemesis and punch through for an extra point [18]. Draws Research Grant.

Proletariat Turn 2: I realize abruptly that I never dealt psychic damage to Prole for his clones; he had one in play at the start of his last turn, and he has one out now, so he loses 2 HP retroactively due to Vengeful Assault, and another 1 currently [13]. Plays Share in the Struggle, getting the last two Clones out of his deck, and then raising one with his advanced text; in the meantime he hits Tachyon [15]. The oldest clone is stunned, but the others whack Tachyon again [13], Knyfe [13], and Unity [12].

Unity Turn 2: Ditches the Scrap Metal, the Supply Crate, and both Construction Pylons to Flash Forge, getting Stealth Bot, Swift Bot, and 2x Platform Bot. Discards Platform Bot into the Modular Workbench to get the other into play [3]. Draws Brainstorm. Platform Bot kills Ermine, since I’m not certain this will happen in time otherwise. (I wanted Stealth Bot instead, but this seemed worth the tradeoff.)

Environment Turn 2: Countess Bathory is too dizzy to keep the Feast of Flesh down, and an Angry Mob shows up [10], followed by another Feast of Flesh and Infecting an Heir. That was one well-timed Hypersonic Assault!

BB Turn 3: Plays Ruin [9]. Blade deals net 2 to Platform Bot [1], counteracts his own healing for the turn, and Omni-Blade hits Tachyon [11]. Ruin chews on Platform Bot to no effect.

Haka: Vitality Surges [14], drawing Haka of Restoration. Plays this with Guardian, drawing another copy and a Rampage. Oh, if only that had been one card further up! As things stand, he takes advantage of the unusual opportunity to discard both of his Intercessions, granting 2 points of healing to Platform Bot [3], who is otherwise at risk of being killed by Vyktor. It’s still fairly likely that this will die, but there’s a chance of it surviving to shoot again, or be Reconfigured into something else. Ends his turn by drawing Mere.

Ermine Turn 3: Discards Ground Pound, Punish The Weak, Battlefield Experience, Incidental Contact, Sucker Punch, Fleet of Foot, Construction Pylon, and Hasty Augmentation.

KNYFE turn 3: Pops her Conduit-Blade, hitting Friction for net 2 [16]. Draws Overdo It.

Friction Turn 3: Speedy Sidestep enters play. Deals 1 to Haka [13]. Plays Unchecked Acceleration for another 3 to Haka [10].

Tachyon Turn 3: Throws a Sonic Vortex, hitting five targets; nemesis damage affects Friction for the full 3 [13], and the remaining four hits all affect Proletariats, two targeted directly, one bounced off Prole himself, and one targeting Tachyon and bounced by Synaptic (I’m assuming this doesn’t generate a sixth target, although there’s an argument that bouncing Lightspeed Barrage off your own Synaptic ups the damage to the final target by 1; generating instances seems less likely to occur dynamically, although I could be wrong about that). This means 2 less psychic damage to Prole on his turn, but also 4 less damage to the heroes, so it seems worth it. She then Experiments on Haka, unfortunately discarding his final Ta Moko along with Haka of Battle. Can’t complain, the first two were great…. Draws Pushing the Limits.

Proletariat Turn 3: Takes 2 psychic damage from his clones [11]. Plays Hermetic [6]. Prole-Prime deals 2 to KNYFE [11]. Clone the First (the one who’s still at [5] from the HSA a full round before) hits Unity [10], then the second Clone hits KNYFE again [9]. Hermetic forces each hero to self-damage [9, 8, 10, and 9; Platform Bot is protected], then the just-raised Clone whacks Tachy [8].

Environment Turn 3: Bathory has a Feast upon Unity [7]. Angry Mob attacks Bathory [12], Zhu Long [5], Ruin [7], Revenant [7], Vyktor [1] and Hermetic [4]. The mob also picks a fight with the Proletariats; damage to the prime and to itself reduces one Clone to [2], while another fresh Clone goes to [4], and the once-dizzy one is left at [3]. Alas, mob vengeance then turns on the heroes [7, 6, 6, 5]. A second Feast of Flesh affects Haka [5]. Unhallowed Halls enters play. Feast of Flesh plays Drudge Ficko [5]. Bathory ravages KNYFE [2]. The other Feast of Flesh summons another Mob. Infecting an Heir causes Bathory to kill KNYFE, with no further effect.

BB Turn 4: Plays Impulsion Beam; Haka curses. Still having Revenant’s bonus, Blade severely damages Platform Bot [1] and negates his own healing. Omni-Blade hits Tachyon [4]. Ruin gloats maniacally about Platform Bot’s inevitable doom.

Haka Turn 4: The party is pretty much screwed anyway, so Haka goes on a Rampage, breaking Stolen Gear and killing all the Clones plus Vyktor and Hermetic; Proletariat is then directly affected, falling to the HP of one of his Clones. Friction takes 4 [9], the Shock Dampeners take 3 [3], and Revenant falls to [2]. Impulsion Beam is also damaged [5], as is Omni-Blade [9], and Blade takes 4 [24]; Zhu Long dies and Ruin is left at [2]. The Angry Mobs are cut in half [5], Ficko dies unfulfilled, and Bathory is at [7]. Then comes the sucky part; Haka drops himself and Unity to [3], Tachy to [2], and ends his turn by drawing Ground Pound, which he almost certainly will not survive to play.

Ermine Turn 4: Discards Elbow Smash, Dominion, Research Grant, Lightning Reflexes, Turret Bot, and Volatile Parts.

KNYFE Turn 4: Given how desperate the heroes’ situation is, I’ll draw out the game by playing that Ground Pound after all, even though it costs Haka his entire hand.

Friction Turn 4: Plays Unhealthy Speed, whose entire text at this point is “Play the top card of Friction’s deck”. Said card is Argentium [8]. The Stolen Gear is finally gone, so that’s all Friction can do.

Tachyon Turn 4: The six Bursts in Tachy’s trash are just enough for a Lightspeed Barrage to show Proletariat what being an “Army of One” is really all about. She then targets her own deck (having sadly never gotten to try on KNYFE) for a desperate Experiment; HSA and Synaptic are discarded, and she draws an insufficiently Quick Insight.

Proletariat Turn 4: It’s emblematic of how poorly this game is going that Haka’s trash is fuller than Tachyon’s; thusly, his is the one to be reshuffled, and there’s a ghost of a chance that Tachy will have a decent turn yet, if Friction doesn’t kill her off first.

Unity Turn 4: Though tempted to use Powered Shock Wave to off all the 2-HP nemesis targets, Unity doesn’t bother; instead she Brainstorms for two cards, which are sadly not helpful (Supply Crate and duplicate Workbench). Though tempted to use Reconfigure on the Platform Bot, she doesn’t dare; Workbenching out a Stealth Bot is the group’s only hope to survive any longer. Draws Bee Bot; Platform Bot fires on Friction for net 2 [7].

Environment Turn 4: Sadly, the Ground Pound stops the Angry Mobs from damaging the bad guys; Relict Dorotya, Dowager Ilona, and Hunter Fulepet are all played, with the Feasts of Flesh finally destroying themselves in the process. (I find myself wondering if the similar format of names is meant to suggest that the Hunter is a member of the same family as the Vampires, perhaps having been denied undeath only because of his masculinity, and only thereafter taken up hunting his relatives. Probably not what the designers had in mind, but a fun thought.)

BB Turn 5: Plays Regression Darts, thankfully to no effect. Alas, he does get to heal [26].

Haka Turn 5: Draws Haka of Battle and a Ta Moko.

Ermine Turn 5: Discards Ta Moko (gah!), Vitality Surge, Blinding Speed, Nimble Strike, Brainstorm and Raptor Bot.

KNYFE Turn 5: Allows Unity to play Swift Bot [6]. The benefits of this Bot are largely moot thanks to the Impulsion Beam, but it’ll help with Powered Shock Wave, and is less likely to break than Bee Bot.

Friction Turn 5: Plays another Speedy Sidestep as her only card. Deals 1 damage, which is negated by Stealth Bot, as is the damage by Argentium.

Tachyon Turn 5: Has nothing better to do than a Nimble Strike on Friction for 1 net [6]. The team’s consensus seems to be that Unity is their only hope, so she is targeted by Experiment again, getting Robot Reclamation and Hasty Augmentation. Sadly, nobody has a damage-dealing power anymore, so the Augmentation just allows her to Workbench out the Turret Bot which she Reclaims; kind of a roundabout Reconfigure, that…. Tachy draws Synaptic, kisses her trash pile goodbye, and is done.

Proletariat Turn 5: Actually, there was a tie for trash-pile size with Unity, but I already shuffled Tachy’s cards, so whatever.

Unity Turn 5: Budda Budda Budda on Friction for net of 2 [4]. Alas, it now proves that Powered Shock Wave is up to 5 damage, so Speedy Sidestep prevents it from killing Friction outright, whereas with one less Bot it would have done so. Worth it, though, to break Impulsion Beam and kill both Angry Mobs. Shock Dampeners are also killed, along with Revenant and Ruin; Argentium survives at [3], Omni-Blade at [6], Ilona at [2], Dorotya at [4], and Bathory at [2], with Fulepet at [7]. Baron Blade even felt that one, falling to [22], although he probably still feels quite justified in congratulating himself on a victory over the heroes. With the Impulsion Beam gone, Unity can play a second card, but the best she can manage is a Supply Crate, drawing Robot Reclamation. She then has her Power, and since playing a Bee Bot will have little benefit, she finally activates Reconfigure, shuffling away Turret Bot since he’s already fired this turn, and bringing out the other Platform Bot [3]. She draws two Bee Bots and a Scrap Metal, then moves into her end phase; the Platform Bots could finish off Friction, but it seems more important to exterminate the two weaker Vampires, leaving only Dorotya to Infect an Heir.

Environment Turn 5: The Halls get more Unhallowed. Infecting an Heir makes Dorotya eat the damaged Platform Bot; no secondary damage results, and Dorotya’s innate damage is negated to heroes by Stealth Bot, hitting Argentium for 1 [2] and also affecting Fulepet [6], bouncing off all other villains. Fulepet slaughters Dorotya and would heal himself if not for the Halls.

BB Turn 6: Old Tricks – New Allies is played, getting one card from Friction’s deck, which is a Blinding Surge. There are no hero Ongoing cards, so we don’t have to destroy 8 of them; furthermore, Friction is fresh out of Shock Dampeners, so she takes the 3 lightning damage, reducing it by 1 [2]. She then heals a point [3], as does Argentium [3], as does Omni-Blade [7], as does Blade [23]. Far from the worst that Blade could have done there. He deals 1 net to Plaform Bot [2], and Omni-Blade does 2 to Swift Bot [4]; he takes 1 and heals 2 [24].

Haka Turn 6: Plays Ta Moko, then Guardians a Haka of Battle, discarding both drawn cards to give Tachyon a +2 to damage. Draws Savage Mana.

Ermine Turn 6: Discards Punish the Weak x2, Research Grant, Fleet of Foot, Powered Shock Wave and Champion Bot.

KNYFE Turn 6: Lest we risk having Tachyon die just before her turn, KNYFE has her play Accelerated Assault; pretty sure I’ve never done so well with that card before. With Haka’s +2 to the first instance of damage, and Nemesis counteracting Advanced reduction, she takes Friction out just before she could go again. Damage bounces off both Blade and Omni-Blade, affecting only Hunter Fulepet [5].

Friction Turn 6: Alas, the rest of the game is going to be pretty miserable with Friction dead; in the past I’ve managed to save her for last, but now she’ll destroy an Ongoing or Equipment each round. Thankfully, Unity can soak this for now with her Supply Crate.

Tachyon Turn 6: Checks to make sure no Impulsion Beams are around, then goes Hud Goggles into Pushing the Limits into Synaptic Interruption. Experiments on Haka, discarding Ta Moko and Haka of Battle. Draws Pushing the Limits.

Proletariat Turn 6: Shuffles Unity’s trash into her deck, making Reconfigure ineffective.

Unity Turn 6: Plays Robot Reclamation simply to draw a card, and gets Raptor Bot! That kills any possibility of her wanting to play Scrap Metal, so she skips her bonus play from Swift Bot and just Workbenches out Mister Chomps by discarding the Scraps. Platform Bot shoots Blade for net 2 [22], and Raptor Bot mauls him for 4 more [18]. Draws Brainstorm and Volatile Parts.

Environment Turn 6: The last enviro card is Dame Katarina [11], who Infects an Heir, and her heir is Mr. Chomps. She then breaks Platform Bot as well, though not before Fulepet deals damage...oh, and here’s the first significant error I’ve made in this game (the usual confusions have occurred, but were previously easy enough to backtrack), as Dorotya didn’t die last turn because Fulepet couldn’t deal radiant damage in the Unhallowed Halls. Dorotya survived at [2] and took 1 from the Accelerated Assault, so she survives at [1]; her 1 damage to all non-Vampires affected only Fulepet that turn, leaving him at [4] after he got in Tachy’s way while she was zooming around. So, with continuity restored, she again affects only Fulepet [3], while he beats up Katarina with only his 2 melee damage [9]. But speaking of Dorotya, let’s not have her attack Platform Bot; instead, she can bite the 2-HP Tachyon, who Synaptics this into Blade, where it becomes net 2 [16]. That, finally, is the official version of events.

BB Turn 7: As my psychic powers predicted, plays Old Tricks – New Allies again, now getting absolutely no benefit other than to heal himself [17] and Omni-Blade [8]. Hits Platform Bot for 1 [1], hits himself for 1, heals 2 [18], gloats about how hard it is to hurt him in this mode. Omni-Blade targets Stealth Bot directly, dealing net 1 [4].

Haka Turn 7: Draws Haka of Shielding and Vitality Surge.

Ermine Turn 7: Discards Rampage, Taiaha, Lightspeed Barrage, Synaptic Interruption, Scrap Metal and Brainstorm.

KNYFE Turn 7: I can’t believe it took me this long to notice that she can finally take out Blade’s reduction and healing Ongoing. The prospect of playing a Bee Bot does not compare.

Friction Turn 7: Destroys Pushing the Limits just before Tachy would have to lose it anyway.

Tachyon Turn 7: Quick Insights for Blinding Speed, Pushing the Limits, and Supersonic Response, discarding Research Grant and PTL. Plays PTL, then Blinding Speeds to take out Katarina. Experiments with herself, again getting HSA and Lightspeed Barrage; stunning Blade himself is now possible [17], and Dorotya dies to the HSA, although Omni-Blade remains immune [Fulepet is just confused and has 2]. The Barrage is only worth 6 damage, not enough to kill Blade directly, so she instead uses it for 4 damage to the hard-to-break Device Nemesis, cutting it in half. Draws Accelerated Assault and Sucker Punch.

Proletariat Turn 7: Tachy’s trash has one more card than Haka’s, so it is confiscated for redistribution to The People.

Unity Turn 7: Volatile Parts will do nothing until Omni-Blade is out of the way, so she Brainstorms, finding Cryo-Bot finally, along with a Supply Crate. Playing the Crate, she draws Champion Bot, and uses Modular Workbench to put this out [8], discarding one of several Bee Bots. Draws Supply Crate and Platform Bot. With the damage boost from Champ, Platform Bot does 2 net damage to Omni-Blade, putting him within range of Sucker Punch (and making him able to be targeted by most of the same attacks as Platform Bot, notably Infecting an Heir).

Environment Turn 7: Reshuffles the trash and plays Dame Katarina [11], who does indeed Infect an Heir on Omni-Blade without effect. Fulepet punches her [9], then she attacks Omni-Blade again, getting through for a point [1].

BB Turn 8: Plays A Chance at Vengeance, and gets a damnable Impulsion Beam! Deals 1 net to Platform Bot [1], 2 to himself [15], and Omni-Blade hits Champ [6],

Haka Turn 8: Plays Haka of Shielding, drawing Dominion and Haka of Restoration, discarding Savage Mana to stop the next 2 damage to himself. Is sad during his Power phase. Draws Rampage.

Ermine Turn 8: Discards Mere, Punish the Weak, Blinding Speed, Fleet of Foot (gah!), Flash Forge and Brainstorm.

KNYFE Turn 8: Allows Unity to play Platform Bot straight-up [3].

Friction Turn 8: Destroys PTL again.

Tachyon Turn 8: Sucker Punch finally takes out the Omni-Blade. Unable to play a second card, she proceeds to Experiment, and debates picking Haka until I realize how disastrous a Rampage would be here; selects Unity instead, and discards Raptor Bot and Construction Pylon. Draws, as per my psychic powers, Lightspeed Barrage.

Proletariat Turn 8: Shuffles Haka’s trash into his deck.

Unity Turn 8: With Omni-Blade out of the way, it might finally be worth playing Volatile Parts; the Impulsion Beam is a problem, but with it having 8 and Blade himself at only 15, plus self-damaging for 2 per round, it’s probably just worth focusing fire on him until he’s below 8 himself. First, however, she breaks her Supply Crate for two cards, getting Construction Pylon and Turret Bot; she plays the Volatile Parts, then the other Supply Crate, drawing Platform Bot. Activating Reconfigure, she disposes of Swift Bot to bring Raptor Bot back out [2], then draws Powered Shock Wave. But this is moot; the two Platform Bots each deal 4 damage to Blade, and Raptor Bot does another 7 (5 bots, +1 automatic, +1 for Champ), exactly finishing off the Baron. (I can’t believe that Haka finally got down Ta Moko after dropping to 3 HP, and then never took damage again all game.)
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