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Subject: Captain Obvious Sails Again rss

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Arthur Williams
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Once again, my recent losing streak has me backing off from Advanced mode, as I take on one of the most fearsome (not necessarily actually hardest, but most demoralizingly front-loaded with difficulty in the early game) of villains. Entirely independently of picking the villain, I also selected as one of my heroes the first promo version of Tempest, who has an interesting interaction with this villain that I’m not sure I’ve ever really exploited, even though I know they’ve met before.

La Capitan [75] in Magmaria, versus Kvothe Six-String [23], KNYFE [30], Freedom Six Tempest [25] and The Wraith [26].

Setup: La Paradoja Magnifica [15] enters play. Kvothe Adept draws Eydisiar’s Horn, Instrumental Conjuration, Counterpoint Bulwark and Anpunku’s Drum. KNYFE starts with Infiltrate and Obfuscate, Energy Burn, Overdo It and Primed Punch. Tempest has Shielding Winds, Aquatic Correspondence, Chain Lightning and Ball Lightning. Wraith gets Grappling Hook, Combat Stance, and then the same two cards again.

Villain 1: Cappy doesn’t flip, and I don’t bother shuffling the villain deck. “Walk The Plank is played, shooting KNYFE [27]. She still has the most HP of the team, so Cappy shoots her again for 3 more [24]. The ship then plays Maria Helena’s Revenge.

Kvothe 1: Though it’s always risky to put cards into play, this version of the Argent Adept doesn’t have much of a choice, so he figures he might as well get out in front of it with Instrumental Conjuration, fetching Xu’s Bell. Uses Sympathy on his own deck and that of Tempest, putting Gene-Bound Shackles into play and discarding Musaragni’s Harp. Draws Alacritous Subdominant.

KNYFE 1: Plays Energy Burn for 5 total damage to the ship [10]. Draws Focusing Conduit-Blade; that figures.

Tempest 1: Plays Chain Lightning for 4 damage to the ship [6] and 5 to Cappy [70]. Destroys the Shackles to draw Otherworldly Resilience, Localized Hurricane, and Vicious Cyclone, plus Reclaim From The Deep.

Wraith 1: Grappling Hook gets rid of the Revenge, drawing Suture Self. Activates Stealth and draws Impromptu Invention.

Enviro 1: Seismic Defender [10] enters play.

Villain 2: Walk The Plank and Maria Helena’s Revenge are shuffled in, then Captain’s Orders enters play, followed by Final Breath [11], and between those events (not that timing is an exact science around this villain), she shoots Wraith for net 1 [25]. Captain’s Orders has Final Breath deal 3 to Kvothe [20], and without awaiting further instructions, he deals 3 more [17].

Kvothe 2: Lays down Counterpoint Bulwark, then rings the Bell to activate both halves of it. Himself and Tempest both gain a point of armor, then Wraith draws Inventory Barrage. Kvothe draws Syncopated Onslaught.

KNYFE 2: Focusing Conduit-Blade enters play, and KNYFE deals 3 to the ship [3]. Draws Amplified Combatant.

Tempest 2: Localized Hurricane enters play; damage dealt to Tempest is now normal for the round. He deals 3 to Final Breath [8] and destroys the Ship, drawing Vicious Cyclone, Elemental Subwave Inducer, and finally Into the Stratosphere.

Wraith 2: Impromptu Invention draws the other Inventory Barrage, then searches out Stun Bolt, and plays Combat Stance for lack of better options. Fires the Stun Bolt at Final Breath [7]. Draws Micro Targeting Computer.

Enviro 2: Smoldering Crystal enters play. Kvothe picks it up, taking 2 actual damage [15]; he can’t give it to the Magmarian yet, but feels sure it’ll be worth having.

Villain 3: Plays Temporal Thief, taking Arcane Cadence, Overdo It, Grievous Hail Storm and Suture Self. Cappy’s damage bounces off Kvothe, hitting KNYFE [23], Tempest [24], and Wraith [24], who then punches Cappy [68]. La Capitan then deals 3 to the highest, and Tempest takes this one [21] since Wraith can’t use Combat Stance again this turn. Final Breath attempts to go after Kvothe as instructed by the Captain, but has been rendered largely ineffectual, dealing just 1 damage on both hits and leaving the Adept with [13].

Kvothe 3: Lays down Syncopated Onslaught, giving Wraith and Tempest a +1 to their damage, and dealing just 1 to Final Breath [6], who he plans to have the Magmarian finish off unless the heroes have other plans. Draws another Bulwark.

KNYFE 3: Has other plans; Amplified Combatant deals 1 melee and 2 energy each to Final Breath [3] and Cappy [65]. Hits Cappy again for 3 [62] and draws Flawless Execution.

Tempest 3: Throws Captain’s Orders Into The Stratosphere (not sure how you’d illustrate that), dealing 3 damage because of Argent’s boost [59], and then uses Localized Hurricane for 4 more [55], plus killing Final Breath. Draws Chain Lightning, Grievous Hail Storm, and Electrical Storm.

Wraith 3: Plays Micro Targeting Computer and uses Stun Bolt on Cappy, dealing a total of 4 [51]. Draws Utility Belt.

Enviro 3: Smoldering Crystal enters play. Kvothe discards his previous Crystal to have the Seismic Defender thrash Cappy for 6 in total [45], then KNYFE picks the other one up [20].

Villain 4: FLIP! Immediately heal 4 [49], then play Captain’s Orders, and follows her own orders to attack Kvothe, dealing 2 thanks to Stun Bolt [11]. Seems I miscalculated giving the damage bonus to Wraith that round, as I was assuming Combat Stance would apply but should have known better.

Kvothe 4: Plays Alacritous Subdominant, then activates Xu’s Bell. In this case, he grants the Bulwark Perform to armor up Tempest and himself, but uses the Onslaught to deal 1 damage to Cappy, removing his own card. Draws Cedistic Dissonant.

KNYFE 4: Plays Primed Punch, using it to remove two more cards from Cappy. I’m assuming I get to choose, so I leave Tempest’s card in place. Draws Amplified Combatant. (I’m starting to think this team is better against Cappy than most of my heroes have historically been.)

Tempest 4: Lays down Electrical Storm, then takes back his Hail Storm and draws Reclaim From The Deep, Talk To Fish, and another Hail Storm, plus Cleansing Downpour.

Wraith 4: “Okay, Captain, if you’re not going to punch me, then I’m not letting you punch anybody.” Destroys Captain’s Orders with Grappling Hook, draws Razor Ordnance, and activates Stun Bolt to damage La Capitan again finally, getting her down to just 1 more than before she had this round [46]. Draws Smoke Bombs.

Enviro 4: Inner-Core Tunneler [12] enters play. Nobody especially cares; KNYFE hires the Seismic Defender to clean La Capitan’s clock again [40].

Villain 5: Plunder is played; Kvothe destroys his Bulwark, but since Cappy is still on side B, the destroyed card doesn’t move to her. She then heals 2 [42] and un-FLIPs, regaining the ability to shoot Wraith [22], and then the ability to get punched for it [40].

Kvothe 5: Replaces his Bulwark, lacking anything better to do with his play phase, and then Syncopates to add to KNYFE’s and Tempest’s damage, and deals 1 to Cappy himself [39]. Draws Sarabande of Destruction.

KNYFE 5: Amplified Combatant deals 2+3 to Cappy, then Primed Punch deals 2+3 more [29]. Draws Battlefield Experience.

Tempest 5: Electrical storm deals 2 to Cappy [27], incidentally harming the Magmarians [8 and 10]. It doesn’t quite look like the heroes can win this round, so he holds back on his big blasts and lays down Vicious Cyclone instead, hitting Cappy with the Hurricane for 4 [25]. Draws Otherworldly Resilience, Elemental Subwave Inducer, Ball Lightning and Lightning Slash. “Do your worst,” he demands.

Wraith 5: Plays Utility Belt, activating Stealth, and stuns Cappy for 3 [22].

Enviro 5: Crystalloid Behemoth enters play, immediately damaging itself [7], Cappy [18], Kvothe [7], KNYFE [19], and especially Tempest [16]. Wraith is also hit, though only for 2 [20], and hits the Behemoth back [5]. I make a mental note to send a team of Ra, Wraith, and Captain Cosmic to Magmaria in a future game, just so that I can have two Wounding Buffers in play and/or one in play with a +1 to damage somewhere, so that a Behemoth can enter play and instantly die to retaliation damage, allowing it to be used as a Magma Crystal immediately. Sadly that doesn’t happen here; it also damages the Magmarians [4 and 6] and is then done.

Villain 6: Fails to play one of the All Together Nows that would have gotten her back in the game; instead, L’Episte [7] comes out and accomplishes nothing. Cappy ineffectually shoots at the Wraith [18], is punched back [16], and ends her turn.

Kvothe 6: Lays down the Sarabande just because, then gives Tempest and KNYFE their bonuses again. Draws Instrumental Conjuration.

KNYFE 6: Uses Primed Punch to deal 5 to Cappy [11], then plays and activates BFXP, hitting Cappy for 3 melee [8] and 4 energy [4]. If she had any kind of a damage-dealer in hand, she’d finish it now – and she draws Energy Burn, so that’s what she does. Tempest’s entire game of build-up turns out to have been a waste; that’s one of the worst curbstompings I’ve ever handed La Capitan.
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