Arthur Williams
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It’s been too long since I did a mini-villains battle, and since I’ve faced each of the Villains of the Multiverse in solitaire precisely once, and have to start a second series of them, I’m opening with the ones who I’ve not yet managed to lose a game to (there are exactly three of these, and Villains tends to be harder with fewer of them against fewer heroes, although I’m sure there are exceptions), in order to see whether that streak will break. But I’m not exactly trying to lose, so it’s still not an Advanced game, and I’m using my most powerful character, the original Nightmist, as a nemesis to the hardest-hitting and hardest-to-crack of these three villains. For the other two heroes, I’m turning again to my new promo collection; Captain Infinitor returns, and with him is the boring but powerful Legacy in his latest iteration (which I have seen played before, but not played him myself, so he’s premiering in this solo game; only the more boring heroes are allowed to do this). With the very first Environment that I ever battled in (under the mistaken impression that it looked like part of the core game, which was false, and thus was probably a reasonably simple starting point, which was true) as our setting, we’re set to go.

Biomancer [18] vs. Freedom Five Legacy [32] vs. Citizens Hammer [17] and Anvil [18] vs. Nightmist [27] vs. Bugbear [30] vs. Captain Infinitor [29] vs. the Pike Industrial Complex.

Setup: Hammer and Shield [10], Blood Scent, The Carbon Adept [5], a Homunculus [7], and the Bastion position begin in play; this is the first time I’ve seen Bastion be the initial Position, making it nearly impossible to damage cards other than Anvil (in particular his Hammer and Shield has DR 3, and gives him DR 1, while everything else has at least DR 2, notably including the this-must-die-NOW Carbon Adept, who would otherwise be a weak starting card), while allowing him to resurrect at 5 HP after he’s killed. Not a promising start for our heroes! Legacy begins with two Next Evolutions with Fortitude and Motivational Charge between them; Nightmist draws Tome of Elder Magic {3}, Elder Ring {1}, Enlightenment {3} and Mistbound {1}, while Captain Cosmic gets to start with two Potent Disruptions, an Energy Bracer and an Autonomous Blade.

Biomancer 1: Friend or Foe? is played, causing Nightmist to punch Legacy for 3 [29]. Homunculus attacks either Legacy or Cap, and the latter volunteers [26].

Legacy 1: Knowing that he’ll be hit for melee at least once, likely twice, Legacy tries out Next Evolution, then draws “THOKK!”, hoping that the Carbon Adept won’t eat the card, but at least having a backup copy in case he does.

Citizens 1: Cleansing Flames is played, hitting each hero [Legacy 28, Nightmist 26, Captain Infinitor 25], though the healing is wasted. Hammer flames Nightmist for 2 [24], then Legacy catches the Hammer and Shield attack without harm.

Nightmist 1: Equipment is currently safe enough, so she plays the Tome of Elder Magic, but she needs the Amulet, so she uses Investigation instead [22], drawing Oblivion {4}, Mist-Fueled Recovery {4}, and Call Forth {4}.

Bugbear 1: Feral Brawn enters play, making Bugbear’s attack deadlier to things that aren’t Legacy. Blood Scent moves next to Legacy and he feigns interest.

Captain Infinitor 1: Time to make up for the lack of activity thus far! Playing an Energy Bracer [4] to protect himself against backlash damage, goes nuts with Requital, revealing Autonomous Blade, Wounding Buffer, and Cosmic Crest [4 each]. The Wounding Buffer is a particular problem, because not only does each of the four Constructs deal 1 net damage past the Bracer [21], but the Buffer then retaliates against each of them for 2 [2]. Nightmist seems like a logical recipient for the Autonomous Blade, however long it manages to last. Cap then draws another Autonomous Blade.

Enviro 1: Experimental Mutagen enters play, fortunately not making things any worse for the heroes.

Biomancer 2: Carbon Adept munches on Next Evolution; Biomancer plays Twist of Flesh [Legacy 26, Nightmist 20, Infinitor 19] and all Constructs are destroyed. Homunculus bonks Legacy, who remains Next Evolved just long enough to ignore this.

Legacy 2: Legacy needs to do something, anything, to try and scratch this team of invincible villains, so he plays THOKK! to damage Anvil for 2 [16], drawing Danger Sense. Cap requests that he get to play Autonomous Blade [4] on Nightmist again. Legacy draws Superhuman Durability.

Citizens 2: Burn the Divide torches the Tome of Elder Magic; not so safe after all, nor was its mistress [18]. Citizen Hammer blasts Infinitor down to his own HP [17], then Citizen Anvil’s Hammer smacks Legacy [24].

Nightmist 2: Calls Forth by discarding Oblivion, which the team clearly cannot afford right now; gets both Starshield Necklaces ({3} and {1}) , flanking the other Tome {4}, and finally an Amulet {3}, which she now knows is somewhat unsafe, but still plans to play ASAP. At Cos’s insistence and with some trepidation, she Investigates [16] the possibility of Autonomous Blade scratching Anvil [15], then draws Master of Magic.

Bugbear 2: Blood Scent tries to deal 4 damage to Legacy, but Cap discards Potent Disruption and Autonomous Blade to dispense with this damage; Bugbear loses the trail, but plays more Feral Brawn, so at the end of his turn he hits Legacy for 4 after all [20].

Captain Infinitor 2: Plays his last card, a Potent Disruption, smashing the Autonomous Blade into Anvil’s face for 4 [11]. Requites out Unflagging Animation, Augmented Ally, and the last Potent Disruption for a while; Anvil takes another 4 [7], the Animation enters play and deals Cap a damage [16], and between those events he draws a Wounding Buffer that he’s glad to have out of his deck.

Enviro 2: Biomemetic Plasma Vault makes it even harder to kill anything, healing Anvil [8] and the heroes [Legacy 21, others 17].

Biomancer 3: Duplexpatriette [5] enters play. Carbon destroys Unflagging Animation without it ever having done anything useful; Homunculus bashes Legacy for 1 [20] and Duplexpatriette deals 1 more to him [19] and Nightmist [16].

Legacy 3: Has no better plan than to heal everyone for 1 with another Motivational Charge [self 20, Nightmist 17, Cap 18]. Draws Flying Smash.

Citizens 3: Pyro-Hammer deals 1 melee to Legacy [19]; Citizen Hammer complains about how wet and slimy everything is in here. He manages to make the Captain uncomfortably warm for a moment [17], and Anvil taps his Hammer on Legacy a second time [18], presumably to make sure it’s still working.

Nightmist 3: Puts the Amulet into play, and uses Investigate to draw 2 cards for only 1 damage [16]. Gets Mist Form {3}, Oblivion {3}, and Heedless Lash {3}. Hopefully that makes this a moment of mystical confluence or something.

Bugbear 3: Places Blood Scent on Legacy again; plays Unpredictable Powers to destroy his own Feral Brawn, then deals 2 net damage to Legacy [16], who finally stops being the highest HP.

Captain Infinitor 3: Wounding Buffer protects Legacy, and Requital produces Destructive Response, a Vitality Conduit [4] for Nightmist, and Sustained Influence. Where are those Potent Disruptions now? Draws the incredibly useful Construct Cataclysm.

Enviro 3: As Nightmist had hoped-slash-prophecied in the Hour of Three Times Three, Chemical Explosion goes off; the Plasma Vault goes up in smoke, dealing 4 damage to instantly destroy both Constructs (neither Destructive Response nor Sustained Influence interferes), hitting Legacy [12] and Cap [13], while having markedly less effect on the villains. Anvil takes 3 [5], and thanks to Nightmist he takes 3 more [2], while she discards Mistbound and the {1} Necklace. (I have just decided that the Amulet of the Elder Gods is actually worn as a belt or a headband, depending on how Nightmist feels; maybe occasionally it’s a choker, but it definitely would clash with the Necklace if it was worn in the usual fashion of amulets.) Since Anvil survived this, the Carbon Adept and Duplexpatriette take just 2 damage which they will heal on Biomancer’s upcoming turn, Homunculus [6] and Bugbear [29] each take only 1, both planning to heal shortly, and only Hammer actually feels any real pain [15], while Biomancer is completely unaffected.

Biomancer 4: Clone-Ranger enters play, just in turn to actually have an effect; the Adept heals and destroys Cap’s two Ongoings, allowing Legacy to actually keep Motivational Charge. Homunculus goes to hit Nightmist, but she ditches Elder Ring and Oblivion to instead make Anvil take 1 [1]; Duplexpatriette hits Nightmist [14] and Infinitor [11], and then Clone-Ranger strafes everyone [Legacy 11, Nightmist 13, Infinitor 10].

Legacy 4: Flying Smash overkills Anvil, whose Bastion finally falls and he pops back up at [5]; I’m unsure that he can be targeted again, so assuming otherwise, Legacy continues to smash Carbon and Duplex [2 each], and then uses Motivational Charge to finish Carbon off, healing the party [self 12, Nightmist 14, Infinitor 11]. Draws Back-Fist Strike.

Citizens 4: Naturally, a new Position enters play which would have destroyed Bastion anyway, but at least it’s not another Bastion; instead it’s Wildfire. Hammer hits Legacy [9], then Anvil’s Hammer bounces off the Tome and Necklace to kill Duplex. Wildfire hits everyone [Legacy 8, Nightmist 13, Infinitor 9], and Hammer [16] and Anvil [6] heal.

Nightmist 4: Nightmist tries a Heedless Lash, and pulls Scouring Mists {4}; she discards Master of Magic and Mist-Fueled Recovery and takes Anvil down (Clone-Ranger finds the sight somehow inspiring). Skips her power and draws Astral Premonition {4}.

Bugbear 4: Blood Scent makes Legacy discard Next Evolution and Danger Sense; Cueball [8] enters play, then Bugbear hits Nightmist, who discards everything but her Mist Form to deflect the damage to Clone-Ranger [2]; it is thus not nemesis-boosted, but it does heal Bugbear back to full [30]. Cueball hits her anyway [11], but she accepts this.

Captain Infinitor 4: Ignoring his single card in hand, Captain Cosmic opens himself to the Infinite again, wasting a Cosmic Weapon on Conservation of Energy to draw Destructive Response, while putting Vitality Conduit into play on Legacy. Draws another Cosmic Weapon.

Enviro 4: Another Experimental Mutagen enters play.

Biomancer 5: Mr. Facsimile [5] enters play. Clone-Ranger heals up to [4], Homunculus bashes Nightmist for 2 [9], Clone-Ranger strafes everyone [Legacy 7, Nightmist 8, Captain 8], and Mr. Fax hits Legacy again [6].

Legacy 5: Back-Fist Strike disposes of Clone-Ranger, even as Fortitude makes him harmless to Legacy. Draws Thokk.

Citizens 5: Burn the Divide wrecks Misty’s Amulet, and then her face [6]. Hammer burns Legacy for 1 [5], then Wildfire hits Nightmist again [5] as well as Cap [7], bouncing off Legacy’s finally-protected frame, and Hammer heals back to full from the one tiny wound he’s taken so far [17].

Nightmist 5: Mist Form draws Scouring Mists {3} and Elder Ring {3}.

Bugbear 5: Blood Scent goes to Infinitor; Stone’s Sacrifice hits Mr. Fax [2], then Buggy’s innate rips up the Captain [4], and Cueball plays tag with Misty.

Captain Infinitor 5: Busts out the Cosmic Weapon [4] and executes Mr. Fax. Draws Vitality Conduit.

Enviro 5: Supercooled Trisolvent Vat enters play, dooming Cap’s hopes of recovering someday; Cueball [5] and Hammer [14] are chilled, but the other villains ignore it (except for Biomancer, who momentarily drops to 16 and will then heal back), and while Legacy and Nightmist are safe, the Infinite One is nearly killed [1], and can’t even play a card without dying. As the one upside, both Constructs also drop to [1], and in the process Vitality Conduit supercharges Legacy [10].

Biomancer 6: Twist of Flesh finishes Cap off prematurely, while hitting Legacy for 1 [9]. Ever since I peeked at Capfinitor’s incap side, I’ve been eager to try it out; clearly there’s a grudge match between Biomancer and Cap happening, where Biomancer tries to prove that solidified energy is no match for flesh, and now Cap has transcended mortality and is preparing his rebuttal. The Homunculus bonks on Legacy again [8].

Legacy 6: Does a THOKK! On Hammer [11], then a Motivational Charge [9], healing himself [9] and Nightmist [6]. Draws Danger Sense.

Citizens 6: Living Firebomb hits Legacy for 1 [8]. Misty drifts through Hammer’s flames unharmed, and he heals himself from Wildfire [10].

Nightmist 6: Draws Oblivion {1} and Planar Banishments {1} and {2}.

Bugbear 6: Snuffles around his latest Blood Scent, finding nothing organic to feast upon; plays Wounding Slash for 6 net damage to Legacy [2], who wishes he’d played Superhuman Durability to reduce that to 3. Instead, he discards Danger Sense, and then Bugbear taunts the invincible Nightmist with the incredible fragility of her protection.

Captain Infinitor 6: It’s unclear whether he gets to look at his randomly played construct before choosing where it goes, but I’m assuming so; he gets a Wounding Buffer [4], and puts it on Legacy since Nightmist has no current use for it.

Enviro 6: Chemical Explosion kills Legacy; the Wounding Buffer is removed from the game, which gives Capfinitor some satisfaction, since the game opened with the thing ruining him. Homunculus takes 3 [4], Biomancer takes 2 which he’ll heal back in a second, Cueball drops to [1], Hammer to [6] (and the other Hammer, long abandoned by the dead Anvil, to 7), and Bugbear briefly falls to [27]. I get to see the unique incap abilities of this version of Legacy for the first time, and am nonplussed at first, until I realize that it will allow Mist-Form Misty to play cards or use powers while staying invincible!

Biomancer 7: A New Creation plays a second Homunculus [7]; the first heals to [6].

Legacy 7: Not sure when I’ll ever get the chance to do this again, I have Misty play Oblivion while there are no heroes capable of taking the damage from it; she reveals Mists of Time {3} and Scouring Mists {2}, utterly slaughtering Cueball, doing 7 nemesis damage to Bugbear [20], reducing the Homunculi to [3] and [4] (those are now their names, since Thing 1 and Thing 2 were taken), dealing 3 total to Biomancer [15], and nearly killing Hammer [1], while Anvil’s relic goes to [4]. Not bad for a cloud of vapor remembering the inspiring words of a dead patriot….

Citizens 7: I was deeply worried about the possibility of another Bastion popping up, not only restoring Anvil to 5 but leaving a distinct possibility that the environment would kill Hammer and then have Anvil pop him back up at full. Fortunately, all that happens is Cleansing Flames; each villain heals 1 [Biomancer 16, Homunculi to 4 and 5 – one of them gets to pretend his name didn’t change, even though they actually switched identities, while the other simply quotes Monty Python – Citizen Hammer to 2, Hammer and Shield to 5, and Bugbear to 21].

Nightmist 7: Draws Planar Banishment {3}, Oblivion {2] and Mist Form {2}.

Bugbear 7: Blood Scent lands on Nightmist; Predator’s Pattern discards nearly Bugbear’s entire deck, but his last card is Easy Prey. Unable to chew on Nightmist’s face, he also cannot heal.

Captain Infinitor 7: Plays Augmented Ally [4] on Nightmist.

Enviro 7: Finally one of these super-mutated Rats actually shows up; Citizen Hammer is devoured alive by it, and with a tie between Thing 4 and the construct copy of Nightmist, the former is hit for 2 net [2].

Biomancer 8: Mass Rebirth enters play. Biomancer heals back up to full; the Homunculi become named Thing 4 and Thing 7

Legacy 8: Playing Planar Banishment {1}, Misty reveals Mistbound {4}, and all four villain Ongoings are destroyed (had I gotten a 1, only the Rebirth would have been destroyed, but wiping out Blood Scent and Feral Brawn is also handy, and getting rid of Easy Prey will keep the Rats around].

Citizens 8: Thing 4 becomes Thing 6.

Nightmist 8: Debates dropping out long enough to use a Power with Augmented Ally, then play the new Mist Form to remain intact, but obviously that would be dumb with only Investigation as her power, so draws Enlightenment {2}, Master of Magic {2}, and Enlightenment {1].

Bugbear 8: Reshuffles entire deck and plays Easy Prey again; unable to hurt Nightmist, he at least gets to eat a Rat and heal {22}.

Captain Infinitor 8: Had the Rat survived, he was planning to avoid playing a Construct, but instead he puts out a Vitality Conduit [4]

Enviro 8: Irradiated Cyclohexane Vat enters play.

Biomancer 9: A New Creation plays the third Homunculus [7], discarding A New Creation. Heals Thing 6 to full; now they are all Thing 7, and Biomancer has won the slot machine.

Legacy 9: Another Oblivion seems like a good idea here; it will actually damage the Constructs, but the odds are good they won’t actually die, and Vitality Conduit can heal. Reveals Mist-Fueled Recovery {3} and Call Forth {2}; with +1 damage from the Vat and another +1 from Nemesis, this totals 9 damage to Bugbear [13], while Biomancer takes 2 and 3 [13], each Homunculus takes the base damage and they’re all left at [2], and the Constructs drop to [1] while Vitality Conduit heals Misty [8].

Citizens 9: One of the Homunculi becomes Thing 4; the other two are both infringing the same copyright, so they can’t identify themselves.

Nightmist 9: Again tempted to drop out and slaughter some Homunculi with Scouring Mists, but it’s still not safe. Draws Mists of Time {4}, Elder Ring {2}, and Astral Premonition {2}, regarding this as an omen with regard to the Homunculi.

Bugbear 9: Wounding Slash bounces off Mist Form; Misty discards Elder Ring {2}. I suddenly realize I was playing Blood Scent all wrong, so the game is a cheat; it should have been dealing damage or forcing discards every single turn, so it’s almost certain that the heroes should in fact have lost, whereas thanks to the Freedom Five Legacy Incap exploit on Mist Form, victory is all but inevitable, even though it will probably take forever.

Captain Infinitor 9: Heals both of the Constructs [2], even though only one of them cares.

Enviro 9: Supercooled Trisolvent Vat enters play; thanks to the Cyclohexane, this is 2+2+2 toxic damage to everything. Biomancer shrugs off the first hit and falls to [9], the toughest Homunculus survives at [1] while two others drop, Bugbear takes the full 6 [7], and both Constructs evaporate (Cap is still glad he didn’t play a new one, although he could have done one damage to Bugbear if he’d known).

Biomancer 10: Tempersonation [5] enters play. Biomancer heals to [11], Homunculus to [3], and Nightmist ignores some damage.

Legacy 10: Scouring Mists attempts to finish this game, illegitimate victory though it is; flipping up Call Forth {1}, Misty can only hit one target, so she picks Bugbear [3], ensuring that either the Vats or an Explosion of them will get rid of him on the next enviro turn, leaving only Biomancer alive.

Citizens 10: Bugbear heals to [5], which is still not enough for him to survive either Supercooled Cyclohexane or a Chemical Explosion of two Vats, hence why I pick him over the Homunculus.

Nightmist 10: Draws her last three cards Heedless Lash {2} and {1}, with Amulet of the Elder Gods {2} between them.

Bugbear 10: Plays Exhausting Pursuit; Nightmist pretends to run away, ad-libbing some very convincing self-doubt about whether she will manage to escape, all while floating six inches in front of the moribund monster’s face.

Captain Infinitor 10: Chooses to do nothing, since there are no Constructs in play and he doesn’t want to squander one when it can’t survive the environment turn.

Enviro 10: An Escaped Lab Rat enters play; thanks to the Mutagens, it is safe from Supercooled Cyclohexane. Bugbear is not; neither are the two Fleshchildren, and Biomancer barely survives [7]. With only him and Nightmist left, the Rat attacks them both, having no effect on the invincible one, but reducing the villainous mastermind to [4].

Biomancer 11: Friend or Foe enters play, and Nightmist again improvs “stop hitting yourself” while in gaseous form. Biomancer heals for not very much [6].

Legacy 11: Unable to reveal a top card from her deck, Misty can’t try to finish Biomancer with a Heedless Lash, so she tries Amulet of the Elder Gods instead.

Citizens 11: Biomancer heals for not very much more [8].

Nightmist 11: Drops out of Mist Form at last; puts Elder Ring into play, then Investigates, dealing 3 damage to herself which she deflects by discarding Mists of Time {4} and Planar Banishment {3} to deal net 1 to Biomancer [7]. He’ll heal to 8 on Bugbear’s turn, then on the environment turn, the Vat will hit him for net 4, then Misty can deflect 2 more to him when the Vat hits her (leaving her at [4] herself], and then the Rat will finish him off before it can do the same to her. So she doesn’t even bother to shuffle her trash and draw a card; one way or another, this game is over (if she manages to die, it’ll only be fitting, since I cheated in favor of her and she’d certainly never have survived otherwise).

Bugbear 11: Laments the unfairness of my lapsed attention.

Captain Infinitor 11: Plays a Wounding Buffer [4] as a backup to protect Misty, in case something has somehow gone wrong with my calculations. It actually won’t survive to have any effect, but whatever.

Enviro 11: Another Lab Rat arrives. As predicted, the Irradiated Trisolvent reduces Biomancer to [4], then reduces him to 2 and Nightmist to 4, and the first Rat devours him while just barely sparing Misty. The second Rat, however, should have eaten Misty moments later; since her surviving this long was due to an “author” forgetting some “contunity”, it’s only fair to assume that she escapes alive only because of a patently absurd and lame Deus Ex Machina, which inspires thousands of outraged fans to write me hate mail about how Bugbear should have totally owned those three heroes.
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