Recommend
2 
 Thumb up
 Hide
135 Posts
1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5  Next »  [6] | 

BoardGameGeek» Forums » Everything Else » Religion, Sex, and Politics

Subject: I done fucked up rss

Your Tags: Add tags
Popular Tags: the_unbearable_eroticism_of_drunk_mormons [+] mcspiffy_uber_khronicles [+] [View All]
United States
flag msg tools
designer
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Situation: I live with my wife in our house and just celebrated 6th anniversary last week. Very happy together. We have two roommates, one happens to be my sister in law and her girlfriend. They have issues and are rather unstable as a couple. On certain (very) drunken nights the girlfriend has whispered to us that she wants to have sex with us if they break up and has made many flirty advances.

The other night I was sitting on the couch the the girlfriend to my left and my wife to my right. The sister in law was asleep. We watched Full Metal Jacket (nothing sets the mood like that) and the girlfriend leaned heavily on me as my arms were around both of them. I grabbed her boobs and rubbed her lady bits. My wife saw and despite saying she was cool with the prospect of another girl uhh, apparently, was definitely not. I thought we smoothed things over with a really long talk (4 hours?) and she said thanks for being honest and don't let it happen again and we laughed about it. Today I got a text that she's definitely not OK and well that's its own thing but I can manage.

However the sister in law found out by using my wife's phone when my wife and I were discussing the situation (the girlfriend was gonna tell her anyways; she didn't remember ANY of the sexual advances on account of being drunk, at least according to her [we were all drunk every time anything happened]). So she finds out and leaves work and comes here and it's just a nightmare. I got her flowers and apparently misinterpreted something the girlfriend said when I text my wife which the sister in law read and now I'm fucked with both roommates and my wife for now. Never done anything like this or even thought about it. It just happened kinda organically, at least I thought with all the remarks from my wife and the girlfriend but I totally dumped all over my sister in law. Now they wanna move out (only been here 1.5 months) and I love (in a family way... except for the one instance of idiocy) both of them and would hate to see them go. Never felt this rotten in my life.

Fuck fuck fuck me.
2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Mac Mcleod
United States
houston
Texas
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Very sorry. That sucks. Probably not all yer fault. Lots of people do that kinda thing without it exploding. Lots of people walk into the blast.

No predicting how it will go. Ive seen both sides where it was fun and where it was bloody awful.

I hope it works out okay for you. You can apologize but unless you have kids i would NOT volunteer to be in the dog house indecinately.

You might ask what it would take from you to kake it right.

Also... as austin powers said,"yer drunk baby". Flirt while drunk but wait for sober consent in the future.
3 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
United States
flag msg tools
designer
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
maxo-texas wrote:
Very sorry. That sucks. Probably not all yer fault. Lots of people do that kinda thing without it exploding. Lots of people walk into the blast.

No predicting how it will go. Ive seen both sides where it was fun and where it was bloody awful.

I hope it works out onay for you. You can apologize but unless you have kids i would volunteer to be in the dog house indecinately.

You might ask what it wo7kd take from you to kake it right.

Also... as austin powers said,"yer drunk baby". Flirt while drunk but wait for sober consent in the future.


No kids. Am highly taking the dog house approach. Flowers all around. Nonstop apologies. We were both highly drunk so it's kinda like I felt her not pushing my hand away was consent.
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
G Rowls
msg tools
Mostly made up of spare parts and sarcasm! ... HTTP Error 418 I'm a Teapot!
Avatar
mbmb
To be blunt ,let them move out Otherwise your just kicking the can down the road for three relationship you and your wifes , your sister in laws and her girlfriend and all of you living together one. Behavior which is likely to store up and increase resentment until breaking point is reached.


The first two need to be fixed before you can attempt to fix the 3d.
8 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Mac Mcleod
United States
houston
Texas
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
79strat wrote:
maxo-texas wrote:
Very sorry. That sucks. Probably not all yer fault. Lots of people do that kinda thing without it exploding. Lots of people walk into the blast.

No predicting how it will go. Ive seen both sides where it was fun and where it was bloody awful.

I hope it works out onay for you. You can apologize but unless you have kids i would volunteer to be in the dog house indecinately.

You might ask what it wo7kd take from you to kake it right.

Also... as austin powers said,"yer drunk baby". Flirt while drunk but wait for sober consent in the future.


No kids. Am highly taking the dog house approach. Flowers all around. Nonstop apologies. We were both highly drunk so it's kinda like I felt her not pushing my hand away was consent.


It was not. "Yes means yes." Drunk people cant legally say yes in some states. In louisiana, you can get in enormous legal trouble that way.

Note correction above. Would NOT spend too long in dog house. After reasonable time, if it isnt getting better, cut your losses.

2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Derry Salewski
United States
Augusta
Maine
flag msg tools
badge
I'm only happy when it rains...
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Yeah, cool with another girl sometime probably does not ever mean "cool with my sister's gf."

Which I bet sober people would deduce

Anyway, in the future, the correct thing to do is touch your wife's naughty bits, see if she's into being a little exhibitionist, and then see if the other person joins in on their own.
2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Ken
United States
Crystal Lake
Illinois
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
I would delete this thread as fast as you can before it becomes evidence in either a divorce or criminal proceeding. And recommend asking anyone that's replied to delete their content as well.
10 
 Thumb up
0.05
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Neon Joe, Werewolf He-yump
United States
Lincoln
NE
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmb
perfalbion wrote:
I would delete this thread as fast as you can before it becomes evidence in either a divorce or criminal proceeding. And recommend asking anyone that's replied to delete their content as well.


I think when it comes to Serious Business, you can request a mod to nuke the thread from orbit even if people have already replied.
3 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
United States
flag msg tools
designer
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
maxo-texas wrote:
79strat wrote:
maxo-texas wrote:
Very sorry. That sucks. Probably not all yer fault. Lots of people do that kinda thing without it exploding. Lots of people walk into the blast.

No predicting how it will go. Ive seen both sides where it was fun and where it was bloody awful.

I hope it works out onay for you. You can apologize but unless you have kids i would volunteer to be in the dog house indecinately.

You might ask what it wo7kd take from you to kake it right.

Also... as austin powers said,"yer drunk baby". Flirt while drunk but wait for sober consent in the future.


No kids. Am highly taking the dog house approach. Flowers all around. Nonstop apologies. We were both highly drunk so it's kinda like I felt her not pushing my hand away was consent.


It was not. "Yes means yes." Drunk people cant legally say yes in some states. In louisiana, you can get in enormous legal trouble that way.

Note correction above. Would NOT spend too long in dog house. After reasonable time, if it isnt getting better, cut your losses.



So when drunk people have sex it's illegal? We were both heavily intoxicated, and the wife was fine with it at the time. As was the girl. She grabbed my hands and placed them. She told me before she wanted to have sex.

perfalbion wrote:
I would delete this thread as fast as you can before it becomes evidence in either a divorce or criminal proceeding. And recommend asking anyone that's replied to delete their content as well.


I don't think it's that much of a thing - I mean we all chat today and nobody's mad and it's blown over since I posted this. Like my wife's not mad whatsoever and neither is my sister in law, she was oddly totally cool with it. Said she's done worse and wasn't mad at all.

The girls are at war over what was said in some texts and some miscommunications about certain things (other issues) but everyone's cool with me so IDK. Weird week. I am already out of the dog house thankfully. They all live here and have same job and same schedule.

Plus internet forum discussions aren't typically admissible in court, especially for a "case" like this. Everything I say is for entertainment purposes only FYI.
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Ken
United States
Crystal Lake
Illinois
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
79strat wrote:
So when drunk people have sex it's illegal? We were both heavily intoxicated, and the wife was fine with it at the time. As was the girl. She grabbed my hands and placed them. She told me before she wanted to have sex.


Maybe. Depends on what she ultimately says, whether she decides to say it to the police, and whether or not a DA thinks there's enough to charge. If she doesn't remember it, then it's just about certain not to pass muster with consent laws.

Quote:
I don't think it's that much of a thing - I mean we all chat today and nobody's mad and it's blown over since I posted this. The girls are at war over what was said in some texts but everyone's cool with me so IDK. Weird week.

Plus internet forum discussions aren't admissible in court. Everything I say is for entertainment purposes only.


I doubt a lawyer would agree with you, but it's really up to you.

I would probably start looking for another apartment, though. If the women are warring, that living arrangement will never work out.
2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
United States
Texas
flag msg tools
badge
"that's a smith and wesson, and you've had your six"
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
I'll take situations that have never happened to me for $500 Alec.
21 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
MGK
Canada
Toronto
Ontario
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
79strat wrote:
Plus internet forum discussions aren't typically admissible in court, especially for a "case" like this.


hi, I'm a lawyer and you're 100% wrong about this
25 
 Thumb up
0.05
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Mac Mcleod
United States
houston
Texas
flag msg tools
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
perfalbion wrote:
I would delete this thread as fast as you can before it becomes evidence in either a divorce or criminal proceeding. And recommend asking anyone that's replied to delete their content as well.


Good advice and standing ready to delete.
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Matt Brown
United States
Okemos
Michigan
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Hell, I would help them pack and move just to get away from them.
2 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Snoo Py
United States
Sunnyvale
California
flag msg tools
Avatar
Man, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for a threesome, or even foursome with three women. As there is a very good chance that the sister in law wouldn't mind joining, usually sisters are open to their sibling's bf.
Just make sure that everybody's limit are well defined and agreed, and go for it. Otherwise you'll regret it all your life. It's just sex for fun, with people you know are safe, you can't get better than this.
Keep us updated.
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
United States
flag msg tools
designer
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
perfalbion wrote:
79strat wrote:
So when drunk people have sex it's illegal? We were both heavily intoxicated, and the wife was fine with it at the time. As was the girl. She grabbed my hands and placed them. She told me before she wanted to have sex.


Maybe. Depends on what she ultimately says, whether she decides to say it to the police, and whether or not a DA thinks there's enough to charge. If she doesn't remember it, then it's just about certain not to pass muster with consent laws.

Quote:
I don't think it's that much of a thing - I mean we all chat today and nobody's mad and it's blown over since I posted this. The girls are at war over what was said in some texts but everyone's cool with me so IDK. Weird week.

Plus internet forum discussions aren't admissible in court. Everything I say is for entertainment purposes only.


I doubt a lawyer would agree with you, but it's really up to you.

I would probably start looking for another apartment, though. If the women are warring, that living arrangement will never work out.


Well I own the house so there's that. Everything else has blown over. Everyone's happy. Left girls alone at the house to battle and got some tequila shots down the street and came back and all was good and I have a headache (Petron..).

About the lawyer thing... IDK I don't think anything about any of this was "actionable" for conversation's sake. Maybe the lawyer guy could shed light on this? The girl it happened to was the most OK with it out of anyone. The sister in law was surprisingly cool with it, so they were almost tied. Wife was fine when it happened (and knew about it) and 2 days later changed her mind and was fixed by a discussion. IDK I'm rambling now.
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
United States
flag msg tools
designer
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
mightygodking wrote:
79strat wrote:
Plus internet forum discussions aren't typically admissible in court, especially for a "case" like this.


hi, I'm a lawyer and you're 100% wrong about this


Like I said in my last post, I'm curious what is "actionable" in this thread. I used to post at a site all about drug use. Every single person on there could be convicted if your statement is true. I'm supposing the only reason this would be actionable is if

1) she thought she was violated and didn't give consent (she wasn't and did... I mean hell I've had sex without a word being spoken)

2) found this post and connected it to me (how?)

3) decided to file charges over her putting my hand on her boobs and lady bits? She was the most worried about her girlfriend and how to tell her about it (which was the plan - we all kind of told each other pretty quickly).

I mean deleting the thread because of paranoia just seems silly to me. I just wanted to share and vent.

Again this is just for conversation's sake; everything has thankfully blown over.

MWChapel wrote:
I'll take situations that have never happened to me for $500 Alec.


Yeah IDK how many married adult men live with 3 adult women, 1 being my wife. The nude hot tub parties are nice but the drunken weekends can be a little much if someone drinks too much. IDK if it's weird but it works for us and has been fun until this one incident.
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Jorge Montero
United States
St Louis
Missouri
flag msg tools
badge
I'll take Manhattan in a garbage bag. With Latin written on it that says "It's hard to give a shit these days"
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
First, let's talk about blackouts.

Blackouts are real things that happen to people, especially women. Someone blacks out when they reach a state where they are very drunk, apparently awake and mildly coherent, but their ability to retain new memories is gone. They will NOT remember anything after that point in the morning. For many people that have this reaction, and drink hard enough to reach it often, it leads to all kinds of scary situations. This doesn't happen because they drink too much, and their earlier memories are gone: They are already that badly impaired. I've spent a lot of time around a woman that gets to this levels often, and I can tell by the look in her eyes that she's awake, apparently reacting, but gone. I am no professional drinker, but the amount she has to drink to reach this is nowhere near the level that I'd be in serious trouble, and she can still drink a bit more in this state without passing out or puking.

If you ever plan to have anything that even resembles sex with a woman that likes to drink that much, you should know in advance how she reacts to heavy drinking, learn "the look", and not do anything after that point unless you are having sex already, and she gives you sensible guidelines of what she is, or is not, comfortable with when she's that impaired. Some women really freak out when they wake up, feeling like they've had sex, but don't remember what, or how (and in some cases, even who), while others will be fine with that, or even go as far as to enjoy having gotten that fucked up, and being told what you did to them.

Either way, something like a random three way with someone you expect to see in the future should be discussed very seriously with EVERYONE together, and everyone sober. There's still serious risks, as no matter how much you've discussed, this is the kind of thing where people surprise themselves, both positively and negatively; But at the very least, if everything was discussed when people was sober, and everyone was clear in their expectations, chances are you won't be seen as the bad guy who planned this all along.

So what you did was badly planned, and there's very little we can tell you now that the damage is done.
9 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
79strat wrote:
perfalbion wrote:
79strat wrote:
So when drunk people have sex it's illegal? We were both heavily intoxicated, and the wife was fine with it at the time. As was the girl. She grabbed my hands and placed them. She told me before she wanted to have sex.


Maybe. Depends on what she ultimately says, whether she decides to say it to the police, and whether or not a DA thinks there's enough to charge. If she doesn't remember it, then it's just about certain not to pass muster with consent laws.

Quote:
I don't think it's that much of a thing - I mean we all chat today and nobody's mad and it's blown over since I posted this. The girls are at war over what was said in some texts but everyone's cool with me so IDK. Weird week.

Plus internet forum discussions aren't admissible in court. Everything I say is for entertainment purposes only.


I doubt a lawyer would agree with you, but it's really up to you.

I would probably start looking for another apartment, though. If the women are warring, that living arrangement will never work out.


Well I own the house so there's that. Everything else has blown over. Everyone's happy. Left girls alone at the house to battle and got some tequila shots down the street and came back and all was good and I have a headache (Petron..).


When your future is in jeopardy because of a decision impaired by alcohol, passing time during heated discussions by downing shots is certainly the way to go.

I am a teetotaler and I endorse this message.
4 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Ken
United States
Crystal Lake
Illinois
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
79strat wrote:
Like I said in my last post, I'm curious what is "actionable" in this thread.


Why would you really want to find out? What if something happens again down the road and your wife's bulldog lawyer goes looking for stuff that will show a pattern to a judge in a divorce proceeding?

Quote:
1) she thought she was violated and didn't give consent (she wasn't and did... I mean hell I've had sex without a word being spoken)


OK. What if she changes her mind?

Quote:
2) found this post and connected it to me (how?)


You had your last name attached to your profile when you first posted. A decent search on an Internet Archive will turn that up. Then there's the fact that you've got a game designer badge and I can figure out which game(s) you've worked on from there.

Quote:
3) decided to file charges over her putting my hand on her boobs and lady bits?


Get an assistant DA looking for a promotion and that turns into sexual assault.

Quote:
I mean deleting the thread because of paranoia just seems silly to me. I just wanted to share and vent.


You can do what you like - you just have people giving you some advice. A lot of people post things that they probably shouldn't on the Internet. It has the potential to cause you problems/misery if someone decides to use it that way.
3 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
United States
flag msg tools
designer
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
GameCrossing wrote:
79strat wrote:
perfalbion wrote:
79strat wrote:
So when drunk people have sex it's illegal? We were both heavily intoxicated, and the wife was fine with it at the time. As was the girl. She grabbed my hands and placed them. She told me before she wanted to have sex.


Maybe. Depends on what she ultimately says, whether she decides to say it to the police, and whether or not a DA thinks there's enough to charge. If she doesn't remember it, then it's just about certain not to pass muster with consent laws.

Quote:
I don't think it's that much of a thing - I mean we all chat today and nobody's mad and it's blown over since I posted this. The girls are at war over what was said in some texts but everyone's cool with me so IDK. Weird week.

Plus internet forum discussions aren't admissible in court. Everything I say is for entertainment purposes only.


I doubt a lawyer would agree with you, but it's really up to you.

I would probably start looking for another apartment, though. If the women are warring, that living arrangement will never work out.


Well I own the house so there's that. Everything else has blown over. Everyone's happy. Left girls alone at the house to battle and got some tequila shots down the street and came back and all was good and I have a headache (Petron..).


When your future is in jeopardy because of a decision impaired by alcohol, passing time during heated discussions by downing shots is certainly the way to go.

I am a teetotaler and I endorse this message.


High functioning alcoholic checking in. Hi. I mean I left the heated discussion to not make anything worse - it was more of a matter of other roommate things than the incident that started it all.

perfalbion wrote:
79strat wrote:
Like I said in my last post, I'm curious what is "actionable" in this thread.


Why would you really want to find out? What if something happens again down the road and your wife's bulldog lawyer goes looking for stuff that will show a pattern to a judge in a divorce proceeding?


Simple curiosity.

hibikir wrote:
First, let's talk about blackouts.

Blackouts are real things that happen to people, especially women. Someone blacks out when they reach a state where they are very drunk, apparently awake and mildly coherent, but their ability to retain new memories is gone. They will NOT remember anything after that point in the morning. For many people that have this reaction, and drink hard enough to reach it often, it leads to all kinds of scary situations. This doesn't happen because they drink too much, and their earlier memories are gone: They are already that badly impaired. I've spent a lot of time around a woman that gets to this levels often, and I can tell by the look in her eyes that she's awake, apparently reacting, but gone. I am no professional drinker, but the amount she has to drink to reach this is nowhere near the level that I'd be in serious trouble, and she can still drink a bit more in this state without passing out or puking.

If you ever plan to have anything that even resembles sex with a woman that likes to drink that much, you should know in advance how she reacts to heavy drinking, learn "the look", and not do anything after that point unless you are having sex already, and she gives you sensible guidelines of what she is, or is not, comfortable with when she's that impaired. Some women really freak out when they wake up, feeling like they've had sex, but don't remember what, or how (and in some cases, even who), while others will be fine with that, or even go as far as to enjoy having gotten that fucked up, and being told what you did to them.

Either way, something like a random three way with someone you expect to see in the future should be discussed very seriously with EVERYONE together, and everyone sober. There's still serious risks, as no matter how much you've discussed, this is the kind of thing where people surprise themselves, both positively and negatively; But at the very least, if everything was discussed when people was sober, and everyone was clear in their expectations, chances are you won't be seen as the bad guy who planned this all along.

So what you did was badly planned, and there's very little we can tell you now that the damage is done.


Luckily no damage was done and we had a very sober conversation today (everyone) and nobody is interested in each other (except my wife and I and the 2 of them together) in that way. Every sexual comment or advance or anything was done in a drunken state. We all contributed it to drunken weirdness and everyone is fine. We both blacked out, which rarely happens to either of us - but we are heavy drinkers and kind of drinking buddies compared to the other 2. She said she slightly remembered and didn't think of stopping it - was a mistake I won't repeat.
1 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Trey Chambers
United States
Houston
Texas
flag msg tools
designer
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb

You know what's becoming more and more common? Poly/Open/Swinger lifestyles.

I have lots and lots of friends that have tried it, some for nearly 10 years.

And 100% of the time it has caused major problems and ended friendships, 90% of the time it has ended in divorce or break-up, eventually.

I know it may eventually be the way of the future, but it's not for me, no way no how.
7 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
United States
flag msg tools
designer
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Shampoo4you wrote:

You know what's becoming more and more common? Poly/Open/Swinger lifestyles.

I have lots and lots of friends that have tried it, some for nearly 10 years.

And 100% of the time it has caused major problems and ended friendships, 90% of the time it has ended in divorce or break-up, eventually.

I know it may eventually be the way of the future, but it's not for me, no way no how.


Yeah I don't think so for us either. Just so many mixed signals and I did something dumb. Nobody's mad thankfully.
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Junior McSpiffy
United States
Riverton
Utah
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
Shampoo4you wrote:

You know what's becoming more and more common? Poly/Open/Swinger lifestyles.

I have lots and lots of friends that have tried it, some for nearly 10 years.

And 100% of the time it has caused major problems and ended friendships, 90% of the time it has ended in divorce or break-up, eventually.

I know it may eventually be the way of the future, but it's not for me, no way no how.


So I know I am gonna burn up my Koldfoot-lite equity by sharing my best Uber story so soon after his exile, but I don't think I'm gonna get a better time to share than this. So....

First run of the night, I pick up three people. Two get in the back, one gets up front with me. Fairly attractive woman, early thirties. But the moment I get them settled in the car with charge cables and confirm where we're headed, the chirping starts from the backseat.

"Man, this sucks. We don't wanna go out. We were just gonna sit at home and watch movies, drink some box wine, but our friend comes over and makes us go out, now we're headed to some restaurant where.... heeeEEEeeeey.... I know, why don't you join us, make it a double date?"

Ummmm.... huh?

I politely tell them I can't. That's strike one. It doesn't work. "Sure you can, I know how this Uber thing works. Just clock out and come in with us, at least for appetizers." So I tell them that the reason I can't is not because of work, but because I'm married.

Strike two.

"Oh, c'mon, just because there's a goalie on the field doesn't mean you stop trying to score." (Aside: Just because a person is married doesn't mean they aren't open to cheating. But if you proposition a person to cheat and they bring up their marriage, maybe that's a pretty good safe word moment.)

Quick check in the rear view mirror... and yes, his wife is still sitting next to him while he utters that phrase. So I take the phone and dial up the photo of The Nugget with the biggest grin ever because she was painting my toenails. Show that to them, tell him that I also have to go home to her, and that one I hit out of the park. The efforts stopped.

But the conversation didn't. Now the two ladies are going on about their kids and how cute it is that they are taking baths together, but at what age does that become inappropriate, does wearing a swimsuit in the tub change that, blah blah blah. Then the lady in the front seat shares her story.

"So I was in the shower a couple of weeks ago, and my brother sends my little niece in to take a shower with me. I mean, I couldn't believe it. I screamed out at him that it was totally inappropriate and he was just like 'What's the big deal? You both got the same body parts.'" And at that, the friend in the back seat chimes in, not using her indoor voice:

Well I sure HOPE she doesn't have a pierced clit!

Second check of the rear view mirror. Husband's eyes are huge, like cartoon-size huge. Lady in the seat next to me is pretty much digging her fingers into the dashboard with her eyes locked straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge the stranger in the car. I, in my affable fashion, try to break the ice. "You know, you would be amazed at what you hear when people forget about the help. You're in someone else's car, someone else is driving, but people forget about me all the time. There's a lot that I've heard, and it's all okay, I swear."

So the lady up front slowly... slowly... turns to look at me. She was still obviously embarrassed. But there was also a glimmer of "So does that revelation change your mind about appetizers?"

I was so happy to get them out of my car.


Couple of weeks later, I pick up a guy and take him to the same restaurant. But this time he's an employee, not a prospective diner. So I share the story with him, and as he's getting out of the car, he says "Oh yeah, I believe it. Our place is a notorious hangout for swingers."

Oh. Oooh. OoooOOOOOooooohhhhhohohoho.... okay, I get it now.

28 
 Thumb up
1.00
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
John Hathorn
United States
San Antonio
Texas
flag msg tools
badge
Avatar
mbmbmbmbmb
GameCrossing wrote:
Shampoo4you wrote:

You know what's becoming more and more common? Poly/Open/Swinger lifestyles.

I have lots and lots of friends that have tried it, some for nearly 10 years.

And 100% of the time it has caused major problems and ended friendships, 90% of the time it has ended in divorce or break-up, eventually.

I know it may eventually be the way of the future, but it's not for me, no way no how.


So I know I am gonna burn up my Koldfoot-lite equity by sharing my best Uber story so soon after his exile, but I don't think I'm gonna get a better time to share than this. So....

First run of the night, I pick up three people. Two get in the back, one gets up front with me. Fairly attractive woman, early thirties. But the moment I get them settled in the car with charge cables and confirm where we're headed, the chirping starts from the backseat.

"Man, this sucks. We don't wanna go out. We were just gonna sit at home and watch movies, drink some box wine, but our friend comes over and makes us go out, now we're headed to some restaurant where.... heeeEEEeeeey.... I know, why don't you join us, make it a double date?"

Ummmm.... huh?

I politely tell them I can't. That's strike one. It doesn't work. "Sure you can, I know how this Uber thing works. Just clock out and come in with us, at least for appetizers." So I tell them that the reason I can't is not because of work, but because I'm married.

Strike two.

"Oh, c'mon, just because there's a goalie on the field doesn't mean you stop trying to score." (Aside: Just because a person is married doesn't mean they aren't open to cheating. But if you proposition a person to cheat and they bring up their marriage, maybe that's a pretty good safe word moment.)

Quick check in the rear view mirror... and yes, his wife is still sitting next to him while he utters that phrase. So I take the phone and dial up the photo of The Nugget with the biggest grin ever because she was painting my toenails. Show that to them, tell him that I also have to go home to her, and that one I hit out of the park. The efforts stopped.

But the conversation didn't. Now the two ladies are going on about their kids and how cute it is that they are taking baths together, but at what age does that become inappropriate, does wearing a swimsuit in the tub change that, blah blah blah. Then the lady in the front seat shares her story.

"So I was in the shower a couple of weeks ago, and my brother sends my little niece in to take a shower with me. I mean, I couldn't believe it. I screamed out at him that it was totally inappropriate and he was just like 'What's the big deal? You both got the same body parts.'" And at that, the friend in the back seat chimes in, not using her indoor voice:

Well I sure HOPE she doesn't have a pierced clit!

Second check of the rear view mirror. Husband's eyes are huge, like cartoon-size huge. Lady in the seat next to me is pretty much digging her fingers into the dashboard with her eyes locked straight ahead, refusing to acknowledge the stranger in the car. I, in my affable fashion, try to break the ice. "You know, you would be amazed at what you hear when people forget about the help. You're in someone else's car, someone else is driving, but people forget about me all the time. There's a lot that I've heard, and it's all okay, I swear."

So the lady up front slowly... slowly... turns to look at me. She was still obviously embarrassed. But there was also a glimmer of "So does that revelation change your mind about appetizers?"

I was so happy to get them out of my car.


Couple of weeks later, I pick up a guy and take him to the same restaurant. But this time he's an employee, not a prospective diner. So I share the story with him, and as he's getting out of the car, he says "Oh yeah, I believe it. Our place is a notorious hangout for swingers."

Oh. Oooh. OoooOOOOOooooohhhhhohohoho.... okay, I get it now.

What restaurant is that? A friend wants to know
14 
 Thumb up
0.31
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5  Next »  [6] | 
Front Page | Welcome | Contact | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Advertise | Support BGG | Feeds RSS
Geekdo, BoardGameGeek, the Geekdo logo, and the BoardGameGeek logo are trademarks of BoardGameGeek, LLC.