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Subject: Ridiculous Board Gaming Conspiracy Theories rss

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Chris Yi
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As the title suggests, let's just come up with silly conspiracy theories about our beloved hobby. I'll start:


Rodney Smith has already recorded a Watch It Played video for Star Wars: Rebellion. He sneaks away from his bed in the middle of the night to watch it in his basement and laugh maniacally at the less fortunate. Also, he doesn't live in Canada, because there is no proof that Canada exists.
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No One
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I've said it before and I'll say it again, Scott Nicholson is the Boss/Godfather of the Big Cardboard mafia.

~V
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Pete
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All dice are loaded. They really do hate you.

Pete (is pretty sure there's a secret way of picking out the good ones that all his opponents know about)
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No One
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Tom Vasel is secretly addicted to the pills in Oneupmanship: Mine's Bigger. whistle

~V
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Garrett Frick
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Rahdo doesn’t run through anything, he saunters whilst whistling a cheery tune. Also Jen’s real name is Beatrice
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No One
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While sick with the flu in 2012, Matt Leacock licked thousands of blue cubes, and had one placed in each box of Pandemic printed from then on. gulp

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sb so
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Board Game Bob lost his first euro game heavily, the opponents telling him afterwards every stupid mistake, so Board Game Bob got mad.

First part of his revenge plan was to invent Kickstarter, making up three founder persons (which worked by abusing some illuminati contacts), in secret.

Second part of his revenge plan, was to secretly push forward mostly miniature games with generic rules, party games, decision empty party games, and so forth with a hands on, never sleep ambition.

When Board Game Bob reached the state of this working manipulation system, he took over Essen ...

That was tonight.
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Matt Kruczek
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You never see Rahdo speak when Jen's drinking a glass of water.

Just sayin'...
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Steve C
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Efka and Elaine from No Pun Included secretly conspired to include a pun in every single one of their videos, if you string together the first letters of every word they say in the intros.
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Shaun Morris
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Akado wrote:
Efka and Elaine from No Pun Included secretly conspired to include a pun in every single one of their videos, if you string together the first letters of every word they say in the intros.


I really hope somebody is crazy enough to test this theory.
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No One
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"Wood for Sheep" is one of the nuclear missile launch codes in the UK.

~V
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Russ Williams
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The 200-page rulebook of Advanced Squad Leader has various secret messages encoded in its dense and cryptic text.

E.g. taking the first letter of each sentence spells out a very long acrostic text, containing the complete rulebooks of Power Grid and all of its expansions, even though they were published after Advanced Squad Leader.
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No One
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After their reviews, the Secret Cabal send all their review copies to manufacturers in China to produce knock-offs. In return for which they get a cut of all sales.

~V
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shumyum
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♒♒♒♒♎♒♒♒♒ sloooowly sinking
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If you play Carcassonne backwards, you will hear a quiet voice intoning, "...turn me on, red meeple..."
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James Clarke
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Nobody has ever voluntarily attended the Essen Game Fair. All attendees are the victim of an illicit brainwashing programme, masterminded by an evil cardboard magnate.
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Jan
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Asmodee
(not a theory?)
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Cornixt
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The board is flat, it only looks warped because of the curvature of our eyes.
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Mark Nicosia
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Asmodee is artificially inflating prices industry-wide by buying up all the competition and putting pressure on retailers to fix prices, all while telling the consumer that it is to help the small mom-and-pop shops, while making exclusive deals with big box retailers (who, btw, don't have to abide by Asmodee's price desires)

Oh, wait... it's not supposed to actually be true...
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Daniel Raymond
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Vasel's Law and Wheaton's Law coexisting in the same universe.
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Warren Smith
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And what become of her new straw hat that should have come to me?
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Rüdiger Dorn is a pseudonym used by Reiner Knizia. The evidence is compelling.
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sb so
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Highland Cow wrote:

Nobody has ever voluntarily attended the Essen Game Fair. All attendees are the victim of an illicit brainwashing programme, masterminded by an evil cardboard magnate.


Board Game Bob zombie devil
 
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Ryan Cornell
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Lately I seem to be seeing a lot of comments saying that Cool Stuff Inc. is using the Dice Tower to disseminate anti-FLGS propaganda.
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Under the paving stones, the beach
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https://boardgamegeek.com/geeklist/46805/michael-barnes-has-...
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Joe Salamone
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Friedemann Friese is really Mr. Freeze.

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No One
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cornixt wrote:
The board is flat, it only looks warped because of the curvature of our eyes.


You're a member of the Flat Board Society, aren't you!?

~V
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