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Subject: Dancing on a Bathlet's Edge rss

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Sebastian Samberg
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TL;DR:
The enlightened Cardassians struggle against bullying Ferengi while the Klingons and Romulans have a profitable cold war until the Klingons raid Romulus for its ascended cultural treasures and heroically retake Kronos from the Ferengi in a nailbiting finale.



Young Warrior, history is written by the victors. So listen to the account of your glorious ancestors!

It was a time for discovery, for war and for forging empires when we Klingons started our conquest of the stars. The first thing our people discovered was the Vlugta Asteroid Field, where they captured a bunch of Bynar technicians and put them to good use in our weapons research facilities. The fools were only studying the asteroids, but we quickly began to mine them. Next we found the Ardanans, an industrious but obnoxious people. Some fool in the High Council offered them an alliance which they promptly refused. So after executing the fool in question we subjugated them with our improved weapons! Their two productions sites were ours!

Pilfering through the Ardanan archives we learned of three species with pretentions to dominion over the galaxy. There were the Ferengi, short but good with numbers (bah!), and the Romulans, arrogant but deft with technology. These were the closest to Kronos. Farther away lived the Cardas(s/h)ians, a spoon-faced people of artists, poets and playwrights or whatever the Ardanans understood as "cultured". They all would have to bow down to the beating of the Klingon hearts in the end!

Not long after that our forebears found more promising new worlds and several phenomena to be used for more weapons research. In orbit of Janus VI we came across a Cardassian Delegation, but as we had not established any trade with them we contented ourselves with chasing it off. Janus itself aptly rounded out our massive production output from Vlugta and Ardana with some research opportunities that were sorely lacking so far. Another addition to our holdings was the planetoid Argo. The plant life induced weird hallucinations in our warriors so we built a colony with special air filter and harvested the plants for their use in bloodlust-inducing drugs – another cultural cornerstone that is still very popular today.

The first real contact with our rivals was in the Coridan system where a long forgotten Klingon house had settled, unbeknownst to the High Council. They realized they were very close to the Romulans' homeworld when the greenbloods showed up above the colony one day. Through that old house official contact was established.

Now, our ancestors were not only strong, but also cunning. They knew that they could not fight all the other species at once and the Romulans seemed content with discovery and research. So a trade deal was made at maximum capacity and the Romulans were allowed to bring Coridan under their rule. As long as we could stay ahead in overall production, exchanging resources with them would benefit us more than them.

Planning to build mighty fleets to crush our foes with, our predecessors also transmitted their willingness to trade in the direction of the Ferengi. However, it would appear that the Ardanan records had lied when they suggested the Ferengi were very eager to trade for they did not advance in our direction as some had hoped. Instead there were reports from faraway Cardassia, already struggling in an economic depression brought on by a somewhat failed colonization policy. The reports said that the Ferengi had showed up and practically strongarmed the whimpering artists into accepting a very lopsided trade deal. We could not let them rake in too many resources, lest they become a real threat.

So with more and more voices in the High Council justly demanding that we show the galaxy what Klingons are made of, we struck at the little merchants. In that glorious year we took their new starbase at Magna Roma and crushed the rest of their pitiful fleet at Regulus V, preventing them from colonizing it at that point. While there, our captains took scans of Ferengi capabilites and holdings. Their shield technology was pretty good due to a genius Ferengi Researcher, but they had settled only a few systems. In one case they had been hindered by some strange energy beings calling themselves Organians. Apparantly, the Ferengi were not deemed advanced enough, which I have no trouble believing at all. However, they had built quite a few law colleges whose lawyers continuely hammered out new "Rules of Acquisition" as they called them. Those would turn out to be quite a pain in our bellicose behinds later.

When your enemies raise their shields, you should power up your weapons, or so the saying goes0. Therefore we strove for more reasearch facilities. Luckily, the Romulans had recently come across a suitable planet named Terra Nova. As they were also eager to explore the phenomena in our space, another deal was brokered, in which the Romulans would be given sole researching rights in the Mutara Nebula and we would colonize Terra Nova. Hah! In their lust for "understanding" the numskulls had not realized the strategic importance of the planet's location right in the centre of the galaxy.

Some of your contemporaries say that the following years that saw the retaking of Magna Roma by the Ferengi was a dark time in our history, that the war which had been fought for the system was invalidated when we let them keep it and even started trading with them. But they don't see that the songs about those battles are still sung today and that the added resources helped us stay ahead of our "friends" and strongest rival, the Romulans.

Now, warrior, showing your strength and power is good, but at times the clever sabre bear lurks in the bushes, happy to let its prey get distracted. Such a time was the "Cardassian Golden Age". The spoonfaces had the audacity to open their fourth and fifth cultural centre in a single decade, all the while deriding the "minor races" in their plays and songs. Naturally the other powers were outraged and attacked the Cardassians. The High Council meanwhile was not stung by such nonesense, for it knew that there is no greater joy than being a Klingon. Nevertheless if the other races went to war, it would cost them much while we would sit back and conquer newfound worlds like Deneb V. By the way, the Romulan claim that Deneb was actually only meant as a stopover enroute to an invasion of Sigma Tama and Romulus itself is completely exaggerated and the temporary break of our trade agreement totally unfounded...

But back to the shortlived Cardassian Golden Age. It would soon become abundantly clear that pretty stanzas and witty banter are a poor substitute for sheer firepower when the Ferengi razed Cardassia Prime, their shields too strong for the Cardassian excuses for weapons and Sigma Draconis was likewise annihilated by the Romulans. This left the Cardassians with a single starbase at Tau Cygna andwould prove the final nail in their ambitions to rise to dominance through peaceful means.

Now that the bulk of the Romulan forces was distracted in Cardassian space the Klingon sabre bear made its move. We took the Valakis system with all its production and culture installations, plus the starbase to boot, from the (mostly) unsuspecting Romulans. What a sabre bear catches it does not let go again and thus we still hold that base today.

Still the Romulans had achieved considerable scientific breakthroughs and were on the edge of ascending above all others. So "Onward!" went up the cry. "Onward to Romulus!" Oh, it was glorious! We smashed a Romulan fleet in orbit, sacked their cities and took most of their artifacts to Kronos in our Reclamation Barges.

But what was that? Amid our victory our honour was dimmed. The Ferengi dared to attack our home. Those petaQ had appeared in orbit of Kronos claiming to bear gifts and before we knew it they had sabotaged all our Military technologies. To our lasting shame they succeeded in seizing control over the planet. Truely, these were the actual dark times in our history.

Luckily, the Ferengi were unaware of our almost finished Combat Transporters project. When our Fleet gathered later to retake Kronos, we also finished that project. Then we smashed the Ferengi fleet in orbit and started the battle for the heart of Klingondom. Our weapons were by far the most powerful in the galaxy, but the Ferengi shields were the strongest as well. Fighting broke out in all major provinces. Wave upon wave of warriors charged into the mayhem. The Combat Transporters worked overtime and we stood to lose all.

Everything stood on a bathlet's edge...

But in the end our fury burned the hotter! We won the fight! We took back our home and when the dust settled, the damage to our infrastructure was negligible.

We became at that point, and still are today, the largest and most glorious Empire of the galaxy! At best the Romulans come close, but most of their achievements now stand in the Hall of Glorious and Honorable Conquest... on Kronos!

Final state of the game

Overview



Romulans


The Glorious Klingon Empire


Ferengi


Wartorn Cardassia
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Mattias Elfström
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Great report! Great game!
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John Knox
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Great story telling.
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Sebastian Samberg
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Thanks It took me a while to hone it. I can add a few more pictures of the final state of each of the players if you like.
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Mattias Elfström
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MordredPendragon wrote:
Thanks It took me a while to hone it. I can add a few more pictures of the final state of each of the players if you like.

That would be interesting!
 
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Sebastian Samberg
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Mattias wrote:
MordredPendragon wrote:
Thanks It took me a while to hone it. I can add a few more pictures of the final state of each of the players if you like.

That would be interesting!


Done. Enjoy.
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