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Subject: An Elf, a Dwarf, and a Wizard walk into a Barbarian rss

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Zen Shrugs
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So... after a few years veeeery sloooowly accumulating all the bits and pieces for a complete WHQ set, we finally played a game of WHQ today.

(I've played once before solo with an incomplete set to try out the rules, but that was years ago.)

My impressions based on that solo test game were that WHQ was a) brutal, b) a bit robotic and repetitive (kill monsters, rinse, repeat) and c) possibly not worth the bother.

Still, it was worth a proper go. So the two of us (controlling two characters each) plunged into the dungeon in search of those dastardly kidnapping Skaven. Fighting Pit, 'Free the Prisoners'. I controlled the Elf and Dwarf while my comrade in rescue and pillage controlled the Barbarian and Wizard.

(We decided that Deathblow works even if the monster in question has already been wounded. This seemed to us to be rules-as-intended, although the wording was poor. I see this is possibly the most-debated WHQ rule in history, though...)

Our first few turns were a bit shambolic as we (i.e. I) tried to find all the relevant rules in the messily laid out rulebook. We made the mistake of splitting up over three board sections and getting into a scrap with some Orcs and Gobbo archers before realising that technically some of us had gone beyond the lantern's light and should have been eaten by the Vashta Nerada. Oops. We decided to ignore this little hitch and carry on.

Unfortunately this mistake made the first fight drag out a lot because we were so far apart and kept missing our opponents. Especially the Barbarian, who couldn't hit a Gobbo to save his life. When the combat was finally over we were both feeling a little exhausted by all the laborious (to our modern-day, us-kids-have-it-easy minds) combat resolution and not terribly impressed with the game so far.

Still, on we went into the chthonic depths. (Huh, BGG has an autocorrect for 'chthonic'. Thanks, Arkham Horror.) The Elf had already downed his healing potion. This turned out to be a bit premature.

When we reached the monsters' lair, a portcullis slammed down behind us and... poo got real, as those of us with small children might say. First a load of Giant Rats. OK, not too hard to deal with. Then a bunch of Snotlings jumped out from a barrel. Right, Deathblow, Deathblow, sorted. That was easy. Wait, Wizard, another 1? OK, fine, it'll probably just be a bunch of...

Minotaurs?! Where the cuddles were they hiding? Is this Doom? Are there monster cupboards? Are there elevators in the walls like in 'Cabin in the Woods'?

Anyway, we looked at the stats on those two big fellas (very impressive minis by the way, much more imposing than the photos on the cards make them seem) and said to each other: We're dead.

Quick, use the equipment and Treasure cards! Lightning Fire Ring! Hand of Death scroll!

*bamf*
*bamf*

Well, that was easier than expected.

On we go! Let's just get ourselves over to this doorway so we can expl--

Elevators: *DING!*

Oh poo.

Quite a few turns later, during which the Orcs and Orc Archers and Gobbos with spears and Giant Bats and sundry horrors chipped away at our lives while the Barbarian continued to poke the air full of holes, the Elf (who had earlier picked up a Quake scroll) finally gave up trying to shoot the archers at the back of the room.

Elf: You know what guys? I don't reckon we're getting back out of that portcullis. I mean, what are the chances of finding a key down here?

So saying, he caused the ceiling to fall in on the two archers standing in front of the portcullis, squashing them both flat. Sorted.

Next room: Oh look, a dying Dwarf prospector. He's rummaging in his pocket... seems to want to give us something...

*everyone turns to glare at the Elf*

Elf: What?

Wizard: Uh, does anyone hear that ominous rumbling from the ceiling?

Barbarian: Run for it lads!

In the nick of time we sprinted out of the room just before ANOTHER cave-in flattened it, leaving us very definitely stranded in the depths of the dungeon. No turning back now.

We were all by this point on exactly 1 wound each.

Barbarian: Hey, Wizard, use your healing spell to fix us up.

Wizard: Sorry, no can do. It's that one that steals enemies' hit points and gives them to you to distribute after combat.

Dwarf: Does anyone happen to have a healing potion?

*everyone turns to glare at the Elf*

Barbarian: Oh well, let's just hope we can find something that needs killin'.

Dwarf: I'll just have a look in this next room here. What could possibly aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaKABOOM

(Dwarf fell into a pit while carrying a bomb. Not that the rules say that the bomb would go off, but as the fall scored eleven wounds before modification, I think that's a fair assumption.)

Wizard: Well, there goes our rope. Anyone got any useful treasure cards left?

Barbarian: I've got a HELL MACE. Not that I can actually hit anything with it, but it's so 80s I wanna cry.

Elf: I've got the Pegasus Boots! I can move an extra square! I bet one of the prisoners is a cute girl whose name starts with Z!

*everyone turns to glare at the Elf*

Elf: What? Although I do have this potion with a question mark on it.

Wizard: You should probably give that to--

Elf: *wipes mouth* Sorry, what were you saying? Ooh, I feel funny...

*Elf heals all wounds*

*everyone turns to blah blah blah*

Gloomily the three survivors trudged on into the darkness... down long corridors... and around corner junctions... and along more corridors... and around a T-junction... until they found some stairs, which led down into quite a lot of extra darkness that they were really not too keen on experiencing... and backtracked to more corridors... during which time the Wizard stayed on 5 or 6 Power and absolutely nothing horrible happened...

...until, on the second-last card in the Dungeon deck, our heroes happened upon the Fighting Pit!

Right, it's on!

Let's see... Objective Room table, Objective Room table... Ah, here it is. Right, so, this quest has Skaven as the villains, so quite sensibly we count any Gobbos rolled as Skaven. What's the roll?

Er. No Gobbos in that result. In fact what we have are... rats, bats and spiders.

Well. Anticlimax.

Or so we thought.

Barbarian: BERSERKER FURY! (Yes, it took him the entire game to hit enough things to work up to it.) RAAAAGH!

*Bat bites him on the nose*

Barbarian: RAAurk! *dies*

Elf and Wizard: Oh poo. Do we get to keep his equipment? Oh, humbug, rules say no. Well, it would be a disaster if we were to roll a 1 in the Power Ph... hahahaha, yes, probably shouldn't have said that aloud. Let's see. Event. Hmm...

*Player reading the card bursts out laughing*

"You see the dead body of a Barbarian lying in a pool of blood..."

Elf: Ooh! Ooh! It says I can take his pouch! Let me roll! Let me roll!

Wizard: *in slow motion* Nooooooooo--!!

*Elf opens pouch formerly containing Hell Mace, which has now apparently dissolved into Another Kind of Hellish Mace Entirely*

*Poison gas fills the room*

*Wizard dies*

*Every rat, bat and spider in the room dies*

*Elf takes two wounds and is now on a cheery 15*

Elf: Huh. Funny how things work out. Welp, guess I'll free the prisoners and take all the credi... Wait, draw another Event card? Eh, can't be too bad. Bring it on!

*Ten Giant Spiders abseil down from the ceiling*

Elf: Oh poo.

*Players learn many fascinating facts about the webbing rules*

*Elf dies horribly and his bones are picked clean by spiders*

Spider #7: That tasted a lot better than the rat-people. And the humans they had locked up. Next time I vote we skip the gristly stuff and go straight for dessert.

Spider #9: I concur. Which dungeon shall we devour next? Who's got the Adventure Book?

Spider #3: Ooh! Can I roll? Can I roll?

*everyone turns to glare at Spider #3*

THE END

In case you couldn't tell, the finale had us laughing so hard we nearly died. I think I like this game after all.


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Ian Finn
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A cracking session well told! That magical dark humor of 1980's Games Workshop is still in that box! laugh
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Zen Shrugs
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Finachetto wrote:
A cracking session well told! That magical dark humor of 1980's Games Workshop is still in that box! laugh


Technically 90s GW, but close enough

I should add that we played the Barbarian's berserker rule wrong. My fellow player thought it was an optional roll, not a mandatory one. (Unless he was diligently rolling every turn and I failed to notice because I was tangled up in the rulebook, which is quite possible.)

I think we may also have stuffed up the Cave-in event by allowing the heroes to escape through the forward door before the room collapsed, but the game would have instantly ended otherwise, so I regret nothing!
 
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Mark Mortinson
United States
Oregon
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Warhammer Quest is a great game. It's kinda like a version Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay Lite. It's a great way to introduce someone to the Warhammer Old World Setting. Bought it and the two expanions: Lair of the Orc Lord & Catacombs of Terror. When they first came out. A short while ago I came across the original game and the two expansions at Good Will. I bought all three for a very reasonable price. When I got home I discovered in the main game. There was also copies of Warhammer Quest Deathblow 1-3. Which are Supplemental Rules for the game. I'm selling them here. Message me if you would like to hear more details.
 
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J M
United States
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Who wants copies of deathblow?
 
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