Niall S
United Kingdom
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Starring:
*Craggy McCragface - Lv2 Cragheart
Thanatos – Lv1 Mindthief
VICTOR – Lv2 Brute

Previously on Chronicles of Gloomhaven:
S1E1: Into the Barrow
S1E2: Solving your problems with brains and a flamethrower
S1E3: Poor as a church rat
S1E4: Unlikely Friends

It is good to be on the road and out of Gloomhaven again, foul cluster of mutilated landscape that it is. About the only thing to appeal to a Savvas like myself is the abundance of rocks, albeit tortured into unnatural shapes. Nevertheless, I like these rocks better than the insufferable humans they harbour. That Quatryl Delice once again stayed home with some dubious excuse. I thought she had already buffed the distributor on her trap-cannon thrice this month alone. Good as it was to be on the road, yet more objectionable animals made themselves known to us in the form of some unfriendly wolves. We were forced to dispatch them, but not before they inflicted some damage on us. At least Victor was happy with a dinner of dog meat. I suppose my companions have more intelligence than these base animals… If only just. You could have worse companions with whom to travel the world and see new places.

The following day we arrived at our destination - yet another unholy crypt, this time in the foothills of the Copperneck Mountains. Stepping cautiously across the threshold behind the suicidal Inox, we saw how right we were to pursue this course… Three cultists hunched over an altar were busily conjuring things that do not belong here. Just as they were finishing, the lead cultist looked up to address us:
“Well, well well… We’ve been expecting you lot after that stunt you pulled at the Crypt of the Damned. You will find that we of the Ruinous Crypt are made of sterner stuff. It is time to teach you a lesson.”
I paused to think for a second about what sort of person would name their home in this way… But I would have more time to reflect on this and his outrageously cliched greeting later. Right now we had a pair of demonic creatures crafted out of wispy darkness to contend with... My first encounter with night demons - of all the elemental demons, singularly the most objectionable. Abominations as they are, Wind, Flame, Earth and Ice demons are at least harnessing the true four elements. Night was never one of them, nor Sun neither. At least the Sun is useful.

We sprang into action. We dropped our weapons in fear. After all the things I, Craggy McCragface have seen in this world, and the crushing desolation of being cast out by my own people, what have I left to fear? I would hope to respond more usefully to adversity. While Thanatos and I focussed on healing the dog bites we had somehow neglected to patch up previously and otherwise preparing for our foes, Victor, ever the industrious simpleton, decided he didn’t need his sword and proceeded to barrel into the bigger of the demons, sending it tumbling through one spiky trap to an inky destruction in another. He then continued to ravage everything that came at him using tooth and claw, like a wall of furry doom. Inspired, Thanatos shoved the other night demon into a trap, destroying it. We swiftly dispatched a pair of cultists while the third, correctly perceiving his own inadequacy, animated an inconvenient pile of living bones for reinforcements. Thanatos tore him to shreds, while I smote the skeleton mightily, dashing it to splinters against a pile of boulders I had fortunately placed behind it.

We were not finished. Victor sprinted off through a door on our left, screaming something about his cousin Leeroy. I held back, taking my time to rifle through the robes of the dead cultists. Money has its uses. Thanatos disappeared into the next room, in a literal sense. When I got there, I saw Victor surrounded by flame demons and skeletons. “I VICTOR, have vanquished one of these demons already, HAHA! Where have you been, Craggy?” he shouted at me, with dramatic and idiotic aplomb. I made a mental note to remonstrate with him later for this lack of respect. If I lumber slowly, it is because I am made of stone, not the wind. While he flailed at the next demon, I hurled a pair of boulders at a skeleton and a demon, killing both instantly. Before I could lay the final skeleton forcefully to rest, the brute flung a dagger with such force that he instantly pulverised its rib cage and sent the limbs flying from its torso; then he ran off to grab a treasure chest, leaving me with neither adversary nor treasure. Sometimes being slow is an onerous affliction. As the dust settled and Victor felled the final flame demon, Thanatos reappeared, assuring us that she had done something during the preceding combat. No doubt she did - probably grabbing some loot, I imagine; rapacious creature that she is. That said, she does display an impressive mastery of Ice. Perhaps there are things I could yet learn from her… But no, mastering the elements is a dream I lost when my heart was crushed. I must learn to let go.

As I arrived at the final room, I looked back to see Victor propping himself up against the entrance to the previous one, adjusting his armour and catching his breath. Behind, an impatient Thanatos was tapping her tail, unable to pass his considerable bulk. What he has in enthusiasm, he does tend to lack in spatial awareness. Eventually we all continued into the last chamber, to discover the final surprise the cultists had prepared for us. Ice demons and more skeletons. Unfortunately for them, we had been saving our best for last. I merged with the ground, and emerged from a crater under the skeletons, before calling an avalanche of destruction upon them. Victor destroyed an Ice demon before inexplicably running out of energy, and left Thanatos to deal with the remainder - which she ably did, while I crushed the skeletons with my rocky fists. Soon we had finished them all.

Returning to the entrance chamber, we found the rift opened by the cultists was still present, pulsing and dark though dormant. I guess we will have to do something about this. So it’s back to that bloody city. At least it seems we have put an end to this cult’s elemental meddling. For now...

Next on Chronicles of Gloomhaven: S1E6: Into the Coppernecks
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