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Subject: Missouri GOP - How can we possibly top Tod Akin? rss

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Well, they probably can never top Akin's magical female body function that allows them to shut down pregnancy under special circumstances, but they are trying.

But no worries, Missouri women. He's in your corner. This is him clarifying his stance on women's rights. Who could possibly have an issue with this?

My personal favorite is the run-on sentence of rage:

"I want them [his daughters] to build home based enterprises and live in homes shared with good husbands and I don't want them to grow into career obsessed banshees who forego home life and children and the happiness of family to become nail-biting manophobic hell-bent feminist she devils who shriek from the tops of a thousand tall buildings they think they could have leaped over in a single bound – had men not ‘suppressing them'."

Also this is fun:

"And I don't buy the non-stop feminization campaign against manhood. Men and women are different and gender-bending word games by a goofy nest of drugstore academics aren't going to change anything - except the fantasy life those confused people in ivory towers."

Damn you, academic elitists! Damn you to hell!

https://www.facebook.com/CourtlandSykesforSenate/photos/a.13...

I'm sure the main person who is comforted by this meltdown is Missouri Attorney General Josh Hawley. And the main person who is disappointed is Claire McCaskill, who probably was considering the same sort of ad campaign that manipulated the rabid primary voters into voting for Akin.

Anyway, I have to go I have to go shriek from the top of a building, while I disadvantage my child by working.
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Daniel Kearns
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Career-obsessed banshees. That's pretty good. I'ma use that.
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Chief Slovenly
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Isn't this the sort of thing that someone pleasuring themselves on the 7 train would say?

I answered my own question, didn't I?
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Apparently, he's not been in Missouri very long, but he did vacation in the Ozarks, so he's a Missourian at heart. heart

He's almost a parody of Trump without the charm.
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Chief Slovenly
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Can we make a "career-obsessed banshee" microbadge?
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Daniel Kearns
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The quotes really don't do the original text justice so I repost it here in its entirety. Also, added a pic so you can see what this fucking jerkoff looks like.


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John O'Haver PhoDOGrapher
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dkearns wrote:
Career-obsessed banshees. ...


All female metal band name? Career Öbsessed Banshees

Don't Hear the Weeper
Akin For You
Titties on Flame with Rock and Roll
Todzilla

Sorry, I've been listening to a lot of BÖC lately.
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The first paragraph almost literally has 'make me a sammich' in it. What a f-ing Neanderthal.
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One of the best Poe's Law showpieces I have seen in a while.
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Neon Joe, Werewolf He-yump
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Poll
Which is better?
Career-obsessed banshee
Bitter, acerbic harridan.
      41 answers
Poll created by toku42
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I love the way he also shoehorned the word "broom" in there. I mean, wouldn't brooms be good if you're sweeping the house waiting for your manly man to get home with bread from all that winning?
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scribidinus wrote:
dkearns wrote:
Career-obsessed banshees. ...


All female metal band name? Career Öbsessed Banshees

Don't Hear the Sweeper
Akin For You
Titties on Flame with Rock and Roll
Todzilla

Sorry, I've been listening to a lot of BÖC lately.


See also, manophobic hell-bent she-devils. It's a bit redundant though. Manophobic she-devils?

Or Nasty Snake-Filled Heads?
 
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YOU BEAT ME TO IT!

His wife's website is the greatest, pure golden nuggets of unintentional satirical goodness.

http://www.chanelrion.com/about

"First, we moved to South Korea, a few miles from the DMZ, where I began the first of the many years it took to learn to speak my mother's native Korean. There, I could look out across the fences into and across the DMZ, past soldiers and guns, at the worse enslavement and torture of human beings on God's earth at this insanity of the total socialist state--at what was the home of a then 14-year-old boy named Kim Jung Un, who was playing somewhere inside this prison camp country; who would soon grow into a madman who would one day die in there when he tried to blow up America and the world, killing millions, including my Korean loved ones in Seoul, just 30 miles from the DMZ. But I didn't know then. It would have been a lot for a child with already much to think about--to think about."

After South Korea, Chanel and her family moved into an ancient strap and gear crossed grain-grinding stone watermill in France, a three-story affair, where farmers in oxcarts and pickups actually brought grain by for grinding. "When winter came," Chanel recalls, "the miller quit and we moved to an unheated stone maison in the hills of a communist farming village in the mountain region of France where we bought goat cheese and baguettes every day from a monastery on the way home from school and where dad again swore we were never returning to the U.S."

Chanel spent her first grade year not speaking English at school where she heard not a word about politics from her presumably communistic first-grade French classmates."
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UNDER COMMUNISM ALL WE CAN EAT IS DELICIOUS DELICIOUS GOAT CHEESE
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einsteinidahosu wrote:
YOU BEAT ME TO IT!

His wife's website is the greatest, pure golden nuggets of unintentional satirical goodness.

http://www.chanelrion.com/about

"First, we moved to South Korea, a few miles from the DMZ, where I began the first of the many years it took to learn to speak my mother's native Korean. There, I could look out across the fences into and across the DMZ, past soldiers and guns, at the worse enslavement and torture of human beings on God's earth at this insanity of the total socialist state--at what was the home of a then 14-year-old boy named Kim Jung Un, who was playing somewhere inside this prison camp country; who would soon grow into a madman who would one day die in there when he tried to blow up America and the world, killing millions, including my Korean loved ones in Seoul, just 30 miles from the DMZ. But I didn't know then. It would have been a lot for a child with already much to think about--to think about."

After South Korea, Chanel and her family moved into an ancient strap and gear crossed grain-grinding stone watermill in France, a three-story affair, where farmers in oxcarts and pickups actually brought grain by for grinding. "When winter came," Chanel recalls, "the miller quit and we moved to an unheated stone maison in the hills of a communist farming village in the mountain region of France where we bought goat cheese and baguettes every day from a monastery on the way home from school and where dad again swore we were never returning to the U.S."

Chanel spent her first grade year not speaking English at school where she heard not a word about politics from her presumably communistic first-grade French classmates."


Lol also this showed up on the Heavy site as part of the write-up on this manly candidate for office. His wife apparently made this illustration.



Edit: OH and there is MORE.







What the FUCK????
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Daniel Kearns
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Quote:
​"What started this peculiar journey for us was the candidacy of William Clinton in 1996. That year, Clinton ran for reelection against dad's old friend and onetime political mentor, Bob Dole. Clinton was the last straw, so dad picked up stakes and moved us out of the country. I think he wanted us to see what a debauched idea socialism was and that socialism was what the Clintons stood for. He wanted us to see what socialism did in the real world—how it destroyed people and human happiness in practice.


And by
Quote:
total socialist state
, she means North Korea.
laugh

Look at the drawing in the post above. Look at it again. Now read this statement from Chanel's website:

Quote:
Chanel has become widely known as the best political illustrator in the country for constitutional conservative and anti-leftist causes


OMG, this would be funny if it were happening somewhere else.

You seriously have be completely delusional to read that website and not have your brain break.
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Look at all the illustrations on the site. They're hilarious. And weird. And grammatically off.

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einsteinidahosu wrote:
Look at all the illustrations on the site. They're hilarious. And weird. And grammatically off.


I already want to do an Oedipus on my eyes without looking at more. I wonder if Trumpster will repost any of these?

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Jesus H Fuck.

I hope she's a better cook.
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rcbevco wrote:
The first paragraph almost literally has 'make me a sammich' in it. What a f-ing Neanderthal.


I know! There's a way to talk about women who stay home to raise children, but the first step is talking about the agency of women to make their own choices. He's in favor of the opposite of that.
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"Beavis likes Operation Full Ready... Huhhuhhuhhhuhhuhh..."

"YeahYEAHmmhehehemmm... I call it the Screaming Eagle."

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Sue_G wrote:
einsteinidahosu wrote:
Look at all the illustrations on the site. They're hilarious. And weird. And grammatically off.


I already want to do an Oedipus on my eyes without looking at more. I wonder if Trumpster will repost any of these?


She claims he did retweet her once in her bio or somewhere. I was reading all this stuff on DailyKos last night. They had an interview with her at CPAC where she called Rachel Maddow "the liberal left's chief bolshevik." I thought that was funny.laugh
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Lemonist, n.

2. an advocate or supporter of chiffon pies
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Sue_G wrote:
einsteinidahosu wrote:
YOU BEAT ME TO IT!

His wife's website is the greatest, pure golden nuggets of unintentional satirical goodness.

http://www.chanelrion.com/about

"First, we moved to South Korea, a few miles from the DMZ, where I began the first of the many years it took to learn to speak my mother's native Korean. There, I could look out across the fences into and across the DMZ, past soldiers and guns, at the worse enslavement and torture of human beings on God's earth at this insanity of the total socialist state--at what was the home of a then 14-year-old boy named Kim Jung Un, who was playing somewhere inside this prison camp country; who would soon grow into a madman who would one day die in there when he tried to blow up America and the world, killing millions, including my Korean loved ones in Seoul, just 30 miles from the DMZ. But I didn't know then. It would have been a lot for a child with already much to think about--to think about."

After South Korea, Chanel and her family moved into an ancient strap and gear crossed grain-grinding stone watermill in France, a three-story affair, where farmers in oxcarts and pickups actually brought grain by for grinding. "When winter came," Chanel recalls, "the miller quit and we moved to an unheated stone maison in the hills of a communist farming village in the mountain region of France where we bought goat cheese and baguettes every day from a monastery on the way home from school and where dad again swore we were never returning to the U.S."

Chanel spent her first grade year not speaking English at school where she heard not a word about politics from her presumably communistic first-grade French classmates."


Lol also this showed up on the Heavy site as part of the write-up on this manly candidate for office. His wife apparently made this illustration.



Edit: OH and there is MORE.







What the FUCK????


She must have been hurriedly scribbling between samiches.
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dkearns wrote:
The quotes really don't do the original text justice so I repost it here in its entirety. Also, added a pic so you can see what this fucking jerkoff looks like.




This needs to be framed in a museum as art. I can't approach it any other way.
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