CARL SKUTSCH
United States
New York
New York
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Agricola, Sekigahara, Concordia, Innovation, COOKIE!!! (and Guinness)
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We all know that BGG ratings don't work they way they should. People rate games for ridiculous reasons. Sometimes they haven't even played the game. Or can't tie their shoes. Or give Gloomhaven only a 9. You name it. So I've come up with my own game rating guidelines to replace BGG's. I'd be interested in what you think of my ideas. Please feel free to offer your own suggestions or even replacements. It takes a village to make a game rating system work. (I rate Village a 7.)

10 - Best game ever. It's chocolate chip cookies and milk. Or caltrops on a sunny day. It's Dwayne Johnson's smile.
9 - Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Makes you want to take out an umbrella and jump off a London roof. So good you won't mind the ensuing broken legs.
8 - Good like Leonardo DiCaprio. I mean, really good, but you wish it were as good as Matt Damon.
7 - Cute kittens adorably chasing little mice and then killing them and leaving their sodden corpses on your pillow.
6 - A fast food cheeseburger. No bacon. I mean, it's not great, but it's better than Chipotle.
5 - Chipotle.
4 - Your mother-in-law in one of her good moods.
3 - Stubbing your toe and cursing like a banshee in front of the church choir.
2 - Food poisoning.
1 - Interpretive modern dance. With accordions. In Toledo.
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Richard Irving
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skutsch wrote:

5 - Chipotle.
2 - Food poisoning.


Given their multiple e-coli outbreaks, aren't these the same?
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Noah Bradlee
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Bolton
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I'm confused... aren't 2, 5, and 6 all the same thing?
 
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Matt Brown
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Okemos
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The more I think about it, the more I'm okay with using a 5 star rating system. We don't need a 1 for broken when people don't really use it as such. A 1 in a 5 point system covers you hating the game.

1 - Will not play.
2 - There needs to be a reason
3 - Willing to play, might need to be talked into.
4 - A preferred game.
5 - Why are we not playing this instead?
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Ess Why
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Cincinnati
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Why are caltrops on a sunny day a good thing? Is this like that Geico commercial?
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Tim Freerksen
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River Forest
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I dear sir will rate your guidelines on a number by number basis thusly.

skutsch wrote:

10 - Best game ever. It's chocolate chip cookies and milk. Or caltrops on a sunny day. It's Dwayne Johnson's smile.


I like this one because it's Dwayne Johnson, I can't not hate or even dislike the man

Quote:
9 - Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Makes you want to take out an umbrella and jump off a London roof. So good you won't mind the ensuing broken legs.


No game is worth pain so I would keep everything but "hoping Mary Poppins gives you her parasol first."

Quote:
8 - Good like Leonardo DiCaprio. I mean, really good, but you wish it were as good as Matt Damon.


I would say good like Krysten Ritter but I wish it was Tatiana Maslany. But hey I'm a fanboy of those two.

Quote:
7 - Cute kittens adorably chasing little mice and then killing them and leaving their sodden corpses on your pillow.


Cats are evil and secretly run the world. I would say "like a puppy covered in your favorite stuffed animals."

Quote:
6 - A fast food cheeseburger. No bacon. I mean, it's not great, but it's better than Chipotle.


Fast Food cheeseburger> Chipotle? No I would put Nachos, just cheese.

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5 - Chipotle.


Yeah that's about right.

Quote:
4 - Your mother-in-law in one of her good moods.


I have no mother-in-law so I would pick a passive-aggressive, bossy, lying older sister on her good moods.

Quote:
3 - Stubbing your toe and cursing like a banshee in front of the church choir.


Not relatable enough how about running away before asking out your crush out of fear of rejection.

Quote:
2 - Food poisoning.


Never had food poisoning but I had shingles and THAT was terrible.

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1 - Interpretive modern dance. With accordions. In Toledo.


I like interpretive modern dance, accordions are better than bagpipes and which Toledo? There's like 5. My replacement is... any Simpsons episode in the past 5 years
 
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Larry L
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Stockton
California
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skutsch wrote:
Or caltrops on a sunny day


Ouch?
 
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CARL SKUTSCH
United States
New York
New York
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Agricola, Sekigahara, Concordia, Innovation, COOKIE!!! (and Guinness)
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RingelTree wrote:
skutsch wrote:
Or caltrops on a sunny day


Ouch?

YOU are behind the caltrops strewn on the ground. Your enemies are charging towards you, soon to be screaming in pain, like the kind you get from playing Munchkin.

Geeze, do I have to spell EVERYTHING out?!?

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jos horst
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skutsch wrote:
We all know that BGG ratings don't work they way they should. People rate games for ridiculous reasons. Sometimes they haven't even played the game. Or can't tie their shoes. Or give Gloomhaven only a 9. You name it. So I've come up with my own game rating guidelines to replace BGG's. I'd be interested in what you think of my ideas. Please feel free to offer your own suggestions or even replacements. It takes a village to make a game rating system work. (I rate Village a 7.)

10 - Best game ever. It's chocolate chip cookies and milk. Or caltrops on a sunny day. It's Dwayne Johnson's smile.

I hate milk. Your system sucks already. I give it a 1.
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Sylvio Z
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hojoh wrote:
skutsch wrote:
We all know that BGG ratings don't work they way they should. People rate games for ridiculous reasons. Sometimes they haven't even played the game. Or can't tie their shoes. Or give Gloomhaven only a 9. You name it. So I've come up with my own game rating guidelines to replace BGG's. I'd be interested in what you think of my ideas. Please feel free to offer your own suggestions or even replacements. It takes a village to make a game rating system work. (I rate Village a 7.)

10 - Best game ever. It's chocolate chip cookies and milk. Or caltrops on a sunny day. It's Dwayne Johnson's smile.

I hate milk. Your system sucks already. I give it a 1.


Hate milk too, and don't understand why people do like it.

 
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chris thatcher
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Matt Damon is a good thing?.
 
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Wait...my policy is to rate a game I haven't played any time a thread about the rating system comes up. Do satirical threads trigger the effect?
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Florian Woo
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I'm more of a binary guy.

1 - Matt Damon
0 - Ben Affleck
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Erik Andersson
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Just change it to a thumb up or a thumb down.
 
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skutsch wrote:

1 - Interpretive modern dance. With accordions. In Toledo.


You forgot "by geriatrics in leotards." I've seen it...brrrruuuuugghh.

 
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Brian Ott
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eatem wrote:
Just change it to a thumb up or a thumb down.


The fact that almost anything half decent on Netflix seems to have 5 stars now (somehow translated from thumbs) says this is a bad idea.
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Carl Marl
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i am lactose intolerant, so ten doesn't work for me.
 
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Warren Adams
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Mt Lawley
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skutsch wrote:
RingelTree wrote:
skutsch wrote:
Or caltrops on a sunny day
Ouch?
YOU are behind the caltrops strewn on the ground. Your enemies are charging towards you, soon to be screaming in pain, like the kind you get from playing Munchkin. Geeze, do I have to spell EVERYTHING out?!?
Caltrops are a weed here (noxious plant).
 
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Posthumous Jones
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Milwaukee
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8 Matt Damon is good, but he’s no Sam Rockwell
 
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Bill Cook
United States
Massachusetts
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Drift Marlo wrote:
he’s no Sam Rockwell

This guy???

 
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Ryan Keane
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No game is as good as Matt Daimon

 
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