Head Blown
Hong Kong
flag msg tools
Hi all, we are Headblown Studio from Hong Kong. We recently launched a new board game campaign on Kickstarter. It called Billionaire Sergeant. “Billionaire Sergeant” is a social deduction game for 4-6 players about the corruption of Royal Hong Kong Police Force in 1960s-1970s.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/308554134/billionaire-s...

In the Royal Hong Kong Police Force, there is a rumour that there is a Sergeant with thousands of corrupted police under his control. And his real identity has never been revealed. As a Royal Police, you need to cooperate with your colleagues and work in several operations to collect evidence. But at the same time, the Sergeant may try to bride you and make you under his control.

The main feature of this game is “Betrayal”. You act as Sergeant, Corrupted Police or Royal Police in the game. But even you are Royal Police at the beginning of the game, you may be forced to (or choose to) change your side to Corrupted Police. Corrupted Police may also choose (or forced to) become Royal Police. That’s mean everyone may betray you even you are on the same team. If you love the joy of treat your friends, you should give this game a try!

Detailed rulebook is included in Kickstarter.

We got pretty good fundings on the first few day, but we got stuck. Can anyone give us some comments about the game or any thought we can do better?
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Arthur O'Dwyer
United States
San Francisco
California
flag msg tools
designer
mbmbmbmbmb
HeadBlown wrote:

We got pretty good fundings on the first few day, but we got stuck. Can anyone give us some comments about the game or any thought we can do better?


Well, it looks like you'll probably make it anyway.
But I'd say you're operating under a couple of major handicaps:

(1) You're in Hong Kong, so your costs are high for shipping anywhere. I personally wouldn't pay $32 for a card game, but you might simply not be able to lower the price.

(2) You're not native English speakers, so you can't write a good rulebook. The current draft — https://drive.google.com/file/d/18hIoOyULkI0yLS6xxanXxLgMOa1... — is pretty awful, all the way from tiny mechanical things like "is the opening quotation mark the same color as the closing quotation mark," through "did you run spellcheck" and "are thematic words such as 'Perjury' and 'Sergeant' deployed appropriately," all the way up to architectural issues like "is the winning condition explained succinctly."

(3) Also, as non-English speakers, you can't produce a video with a voiceover; so when you ask me to watch your Kickstarter video you're basically asking me to read two pages of text, but slowly, and with annoying music in the background.

Unfortunately there's not much you can do about any of these things — you don't control your geographical location or native language. You could always hire someone to write your rulebook for you, though.

(And yes, I think write is the correct word. Merely proofreading the existing rulebook would not fix the structural issues. You need to get an English-speaker who has actually played the game and understands the rules, and then ask them to write the rules down for you.)

About "thematic words": I don't really understand the rules of the game, of course, but I suspect that a lot of the terms used in the rulebook are being misused. For example...

The chits marked "Evident" and "Perjury": first, I think you mean "Evidence," not "Evident"; and second, are you saying that "Evidence" and "Perjury" are antonyms? And what's the thematic connection here — if enough witnesses perjure themselves, the judge rules in favor of the defense? Doesn't make much sense to me.

The roles "1S", "2S", "3S" assigned to police officers: these abbreviations will be confused with the police ranks of "first sergeant", etc. This is particularly unfortunate because in this game, you're trying to redefine the word "Sergeant" to mean something like "criminal kingpin." Have you considered scrapping the whole "sergeant" angle and just calling the Big Bad Guy something like "kingpin", "ringleader", "boss", or "godfather"?

Anyway, if this campaign fails and you give it another shot — please hire an English speaker to write a fresh rulebook!
 
 Thumb up
 tip
 Hide
  • [+] Dice rolls
Front Page | Welcome | Contact | Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | Advertise | Support BGG | Feeds RSS
Geekdo, BoardGameGeek, the Geekdo logo, and the BoardGameGeek logo are trademarks of BoardGameGeek, LLC.