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Subject: Arrested for soliciting sex acts with a marine mammal rss

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Rusty McFisticuffs
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That's a thing that definitely did not happen to me today*, so I'm confident that there would be no reason for me to ask an admin to delete this thread to protect my anonymity.

And, just so we're all clear on this, it would be grossly inappropriate to reply to this post as if it were a sad tale of a simple misunderstanding, an ill-advised & ultimately unsuccessful attempt to flee the scene on foot, a surprisingly enthusiastic stomping at the hands (well, boots) of a half-dozen unexpectedly fit law enforcement officers, pepper-spray-induced snotcicles, and a total failure to make new friends at the correctional facility, just in case I delete this later.

Thank you.




* And surely we can agree that this post should only be RSP'd if it were about soliciting sex acts with a marine mammal. Which, as I have said, it most certainly is not.
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Jens Witgeers
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Are you fishing for attention?
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Brian Morris
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I learned one should not order a funnel cake with lots of powdered sugar on it at a baseball game on a windy day. Mind you the funnel cake incident was more entertaining than the actual baseball game.
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Peter Johnsson
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Sea cucumbers are pretty filthy, also they're not mammals, silly.
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Beche-de-mer, beche-de-MERDE.
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Jens Witgeers
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I saw a Sperm Whale the other day, even though it was snowing. People were literally covered in white stuff. What luck it didn't turn into a sticky situation...
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Are mermaids mammals or fish? Asking for a friend.
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David Kahnt
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Julius Waller
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I am very sorry this did not happen to you today. The same thing doesnt happen to me and lots of people I know as well. Just know you are not alone and if you need a shoulder to cry on, I nominate Mabby or Tickmanfan for the job.
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Diane Close
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I am thoroughly disappointed that this thread is not about your relationship issues with marine animals. Apparently what happens

UNDER THE SEA

stays

UNDER THE SEA
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Michael Howden
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OH! fishy fishy fishy... FISH!
and he went wherever I did go.
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Jens Witgeers
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dysjunct wrote:
Are mermaids mammals or fish? Asking for a friend.


Depends on the age. Also, find new friends
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Joe Gola
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I’m surprised they even let you into the aquarium dressed like that.
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Chris Tannhauser
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Hopefully you've learned your lesson, and if not, then I hope your truncheon-induced catacomb smile reminds you every morning, perv.
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Billy McBoatface
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So much hate here. You all really expect me to believe that you've never used a creature's dorsal fins for your own pleasure? The only thing separating you from this guy is that he got caught. Have some pity.
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Chris Long
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pdclose wrote:
Apparently what happens

UNDER THE SEA

stays

UNDER THE SEA


"Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me!"
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Rudy
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TrustyJules wrote:
Just know you are not alone and if you need a shoulder to cry on, I nominate Mabby or Tickmanfan for the job.

Call Mabby, I'm busy that day.
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kuhrusty wrote:

* And surely we can agree that this post should only be RSP'd if it were about soliciting sex acts with a marine mammal. Which, as I have said, it most certainly is not.

A double bluff, hey? Have you been chasing iguanas? Hmm?
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Dave Kudzma
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BelgianLoneWolf wrote:
Are you fishing for attention?


Rusty isn't a fisherman.

Rusty chokes the attention right out of you, and then you come back for seconds.
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Jens Witgeers
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locusshifter wrote:
BelgianLoneWolf wrote:
Are you fishing for attention?


Rusty isn't a fisherman.

Rusty chokes the attention right out of you, and then you come back for seconds.


All right, I finally caught a break! devil
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Chief Slovenly
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Dammit. I came to this thread precisely so I could hear a story about how Kuhrusty had a wild weekend and may have tried to sex an elephant seal.

(Of course, I know they're not mammals, but in my mind it's an emperor penguin because it's way funnier. The squawking alone.)

Disappointment doesn't even begin to describe how I feel right now.

Edit: Yes. This is the rumor that should be started right now. TELL THE CHILLY WILLY STORY KUHRUSTY
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Brendan Riley
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Reminds me of the old novelty song "Wet Dreams" by Kip Adotta. Tons of fish puns.

Here are the opening lines:

It was April the forty-first
Being a quadruple leap year
I was driving in downtown Atlantis
My barracuda was in the shop
So I was in a rented stingray
And it was overheating

So I pulled into a Shell Station
They said I'd blown a seal
I said, "Fix the damn thing
And leave my private life out of it
Okay pal?"

Here's a video, though I have no idea if the person in the video is Kip Adotta or if this is some weird fan creation.

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Gary Heidenreich
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kuhrusty wrote:
That's a thing that definitely did not happen to me today*, so I'm confident that there would be no reason for me to ask an admin to delete this thread to protect my anonymity.

And, just so we're all clear on this, it would be grossly inappropriate to reply to this post as if it were a sad tale of a simple misunderstanding, an ill-advised & ultimately unsuccessful attempt to flee the scene on foot, a surprisingly enthusiastic stomping at the hands (well, boots) of a half-dozen unexpectedly fit law enforcement officers, pepper-spray-induced snotcicles, and a total failure to make new friends at the correctional facility, just in case I delete this later.

Thank you.




* And surely we can agree that this post should only be RSP'd if it were about soliciting sex acts with a marine mammal. Which, as I have said, it most certainly is not.


Ohhh man. Doood. ::shaking head slowly::

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John Breckenridge
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Flipper? I hardly knew her!
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