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Subject: So you’ve heard spillage horror stories? rss

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James Derbyshire
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Norton Mandeville
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We’ve all read those board game horror stories where someone handled cards with mayonnaise on their fingers?
And even worse, a pint of beer was spilled over a board?
Well I bet you’ve not heard the horror story to end them all...

Eldritch Horror set up on the table ready to go. We play lots of games in multiple sittings.

I come home from work and see one of our three cats asleep on the board. Not overly pleased, I leave it as I know where the pieces all should be and he’s not knocked any of them.

Roll on two days later, last night, and we decide to continue our game. We sit down and my wife asks me what that mark is on the board.

The horror. The absolute, dreadful Eldritch Horror!

I recall noticing the other day that one of our cats has a bit of an upset tummy. They’re long haired cats and if something like that happens, it’s pretty visibly obvious. At the rear end. Plus it stinks. And my wife has to clean it (I can’t!)

2 + 2 = ?

Cat. Dicky tummy. Pooey bum. Sleeps on board. Stains board. Stain dries. James wipes with wet cloth. Moistens stain. Reignites stench. James wipes more. Cardboard starts to peel away. Stinks more. Big white hole in board. Abandon game.

So, I see your Cheeto dusted cards and your beer spilled board and raise you dried cat diarrhoea!!!

gulp
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Nick Hayes
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I guess we know what your cats think of your board gaming hobby.
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Mike A.
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Quote:
Cat. Dicky tummy. Pooey bum. Sleeps on board. Stains board. Stain dries. James wipes with wet cloth. Moistens stain. Reignites stench. James wipes more. Cardboard starts to peel away. Stinks more. Big white hole in board. Abandon game.


I literally laughed out loud and my colleagues are all looking at me.
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James Clarke
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Norbert666 wrote:
Abandon game.


Correction. Legacy game.
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Steve C
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Sounds like you should have worked harder to seal off the great old one.
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/|\ Roland /|\
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As I was reading this, I assumed the cat was going to end up, not sleeping, but dead in a pool of corpse leak.
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Olaf Slomp
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Saved you from a bad game, he did you a favour
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Andrew S.
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I would have just left it and told no one.
Control your facial expressions and urge to vomit every time you play.
It would have been the horrible eldritch secret that you, and you alone, would bear.
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Antoine Fibula
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I was going to tell you about the day my sister spilled a big mug of coffee on a game we had just unwrapped, but your story's definitely better.
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Chris
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You left a board game set up in a house with cats? You apparently dont lock the game room up or have a special game table with a vault.

Sorry but anyone with cats knows this happens.
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Hugh G. Rection
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Are you sure it's not one of the small box expansions?

Signs of Carcaca

or

Shitties in Ruins
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Kirk
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Could've been worse... could have been on your kitchen counter or dining room table!


cats...
 
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Gus Gaona
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I pepper the table with various sharp objects to eliminate any 'comfortable' areas our cat might have been attracted to. A board with nails should also do the trick.
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James Derbyshire
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EasyBreezy wrote:
That's precisely why I sleeve my cats.


I wouldn’t be surprised if there are people out there (in BGGland) who would certainly sleeve their boards!
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Gus Gaona
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Norbert666 wrote:
EasyBreezy wrote:
That's precisely why I sleeve my cats.


I wouldn’t be surprised if there are people out there (in BGGland) who would certainly sleeve their boards!


I bet we see a Kickstarter now that you've mentioned the idea. laugh
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Quote:
Cat. Dicky tummy. Pooey bum. Sleeps on board. Stains board. Stain dries. James wipes with wet cloth. Moistens stain. Reignites stench. James wipes more. Cardboard starts to peel away. Stinks more. Big white hole in board.


I just lost 2D10+3 SAN reading that.
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Chris B.
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This is why games don't stay setup in my home. More because everything becomes a toy. Our Plum loves rolling dice and playing with miniatures. We once found a Descent mini in our deck door track. He takes dice from the table and leaves them all about the house for us too. This is just while we step out for a smoke too, let alone leaving the game setup for weeks.
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Alexandre Santos
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This reminds me of when I was a kid and my sister's cat pooped on my homework. I didn't even try to explain it to the teacher. shake

The previous day I woke up with an uneasiness on my chest, and opened my eyes nose to nose with the cat staring at me. I think the deed was revenge from the speedy cat expulsion that ensued.
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Alexandre Santos
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And the worst spillage incident I witnessed was dropping a bottle of wine on Ground Floor, because we stupidly decided to eat on the table while leaving the game set up next to us.
 
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Candace Mercer
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I hate to steal your thunder but I can top it. We had just set up Trains: Rising Sun fresh out of the box, me, my ex and our friend.

My cat Benedict Cumberpaws was hanging around and my friend was scratching near the base of his tail, and oh, the smell...he expressed his anal glands all over the cards, the board...I was trying very hard not to laugh as it was the ex's game. We got the isopropyl alcohol, coupled with a nice glossy finish on everything, and order was restored. We did set those cards aside and then put them on the bottom of the decks. But the smell just lingered...

Ben has never done it before or since, research says it might have been a new food that did not make his stool hard enough to express the glands when he pooped which is I guess when that happens.

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Tim Nagels
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Damn, and I got upset last week when my cat jumped unto the table, scattering half my village and all my resource markers while we were playing Fields of Arle. Feels like a veritable 1st world problem now
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Josh K
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No, it doesn't. When I leave a game set up where the cats can get to it, I assume a certain level of dishevelment when I return. I do not expect there to be dried cat feces on the board. That is not something that happens regularly. Don't be a jerk.
 
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Jennifer Daintith
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Reminds me of the time we were having a gaming session at a friend's house where their children had a 'house rabbit' Totally housetrained we were told. Then someone put a box lid on the floor and the rabbit disproves this, it mistook the lid for a litter tray.shake
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James Clarke
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iamdinkleberg wrote:
Don't be a jerk.


Sound advice.
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Cyril Lagvanec
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I had the opposite experience. I had an acro-cat named Smokey. When I called her in at night, she came dancing across the rooftops! She could traverse an entire seven foot long game table and not upset a piece. Meow!
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