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Subject: Time Crunched rss

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Casey Alcoser
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(Or what happens when a robot, a pirate, a knight, a cowboy, a timetraveler get an unlikely ally in a race against time.)

“Nothing is where it is supposed to be! I reached into the future and found him!” Alain shouted, narrowly dodging the blow from the burly, red-masked foe. Sir George rushed forward to counterattack, only to be left gripping air as his sword and the villain disappeared.

Rising from the tangled shadows of this strange realm, a cold voice boomed around the heroes. “You have somehow managed to tamper with inevitability, and for that, you must cease to be.” Maria gave a gasp as she felt time itself squeeze around them, and the blue robot next to her fell to pieces – in its place now stood the hooded Mistress of Fate, ominously lit by the flickering red eye of Omniton-X, now reaching out to her.

A shot rang out, and the Mistress drew back with a screech of surprise, whirling around to see that damned sheriff aiming at her.

“Ma’am,” he said coolly, cocking his gun, “I’ve told you time and time again - inevitability ain’t my business.” Then, he lowered his gun. “But it might be his.”

The Mistress of Fate wasn’t able to ask what he meant before Spite barreled into her.


Mistress of Fate versus Omnitron-X, La Comodora: Curse of the Black Spot, The Knight: 1929, Chrono-Ranger, and Drift in the Time Cataclysm.

I was suddenly struck by the idea of playing a truly time-oriented battle, especially cause the Mistress has quickly become one of my favorite villains to play against, and the time-shenanigan heroes are some of my favorite to play. Plus, come on, the character archetypes made this seem like a game of Smash Up.

For her part, the Mistress pulled no punches – the very first day was the Day of Saints, and she pulled Same Time and Place for her card draw. Quite a large hit against five heroes, of course, but at least she didn’t play a target? That ongoing wasn’t going to super painful after the initial blow, right?

(Actually, yes. But not in the way you’d expect.)

The first round passes easily enough – everyone’s bleeding but standing, and I’m hoping I can jumpstart the necessary setups for Drift and La Comodora with Omnitron while Chrono-Ranger does a bunch of damage and the Knight…Well, I confess, I’m not very practiced with the Knight, least of all this variant of his. In fact, this may have the first time I’ve used it. But there’s no time to learn like now, eh? I gave him the Stalwart Shield and let the chips fall where they may.

Then the Environment played Shopping Trip.

I think everyone hates this card. Not like, Devastating Aurora-level hate, but it really hurts a lot for heroes who like to play more than one card a turn – so pretty much all of the ones I had in play. But as it turns out? It REALLY was not the Mistress of Fate’s cup of tea, especially given that on his turn, Chrono-Ranger was able to pin the “By All Means” bounty on her.

Simply by the Day of Sorrows dragging the Warped Malus (UGH) into play, and The Chaos Butterfly (yikes) for the normal card play, the Mistress lost six health, and regular card plays kept witling her down fast. Granted, she also took out Omnitron-X rather efficiently in this way, but this has got to be the first time I’ve ever been grateful that Shopping Trip came out.

As the little story blurb suggests, Omnitron was really screwed in this fight. He only had one turn out where he wasn’t incapacitated. La Comodora and Drift got in some good hits – and La Comodora was instrumental in a good round of one-shots getting sent out to punch the ever-loving crap out of the Mistress, but only The Knight and Chrono-Ranger were never incapacitated between Shopping Trip and the villain – Omnitron used his incap ability to give Chrono a -1 damage soak, and the Knight’s admittedly kind of selfish Stalwart Shield play gave him some incredibly lasting power. I was honestly kind of thrilled by this development – having a time-displaced cowboy and knight, the latter dressed in an even more displaced outfit, was a super awesome visual and, if this was ever an actual comic book, most certainly would make the cover.

Still, between the Warped Malus and the fact that Chrono was at 1 health, I elected to flip the Mistress at the end of the second environment turn, afraid of losing the bounty on her that had already brought her health down by over a half.

And as you probably guessed, that meant that Shopping Trip got put under Same Time and Place for further Mistress-punching shenanigans.

It was a relatively fast match, all in all, and now I can honestly that say that Spite can actually be very helpful. Who’d have thought?
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