Sebastopol (Ballarat)
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That's Karl on the left. Eternity on the right.
I love Melissa, but don't tell her. It's a secret if she can find this. Shhhhh....
The Adventures of Baron Balthassar: The Not-Quite-So Green Baron

Here’s the link to the first adventure. Go ahead read it. I’ll wait…

Are they gone? Suckers. I’m not going to wait for them. Keep reading for the Second Adventure of Baron Balthassar!

After a big gaming day yesterday, I chose to wind down a bit tonight with a light sortie. The Central Powers High Command proved its’ complete gullibility by allowing me back behind the stick of another brand spanking new Albatross! (Did you know gullibility is not found in the dictionary? Really it isn’t! Have a look for yourself).

I have been thinking of my first sortie, and I developed the Perfect Plan TM. In the Perfect Plan TM I was to approach the easternmost trench, and take it out by stalling as soon as it was within range. It would then be destroyed before I advanced onto the next trenches and therefore I’d limit the amount of ground fire received and maximize my chances for success. Obviously, I wouldn’t be stupid enough to overshoot the trenches too much and end up taking AA Gun fire. That would just be bad piloting.

Absolute Brilliance! Those Allies were toast. I even wrote some letters to Tommy’s next of kin,

Dear Mom,

Please don’t be upset that I’m dead. That incredibly dashing and handsome pilot, Baron Balthassar, was just too good. We didn’t stand a chance. Please don’t be cross at him, he’s really a nice guy.

Private Tommy

Well, I began my flight, lots south, and a tad east of the eastern trench. (If you didn’t read the first adventure, there are three trenches laid out west to east which I need to silence. The centre trench has a south-facing Anti-Aircraft MG (AAMG). Two AA Guns are in the far NW and NE which can only hit me if I’m in range by erring too far over the trench line.

I planned my first three maneuvers. Straight. Straight. Straight. The third maneuver actually took me within range of the easternmost trench. We exchanged ineffectual fire. The game was afoot!

My next three maneuvers were planned: Bank Left, Stall, Swerve Right (keep heading, but sidesteps a bit to the right).
Bank Left: The first trench missed me, but the second hit my rudder with a rifle, and I lost my capability to turn right. My return fire on the eastern trench did one damage. (need to inflict 5 damage to silence a trench).
Stall: I stalled my plane over the easternmost trench. I was just out of the arc of the AAMG! I took small fire from all three trenches to no effect. I lined up the AAMG and let it have it! One Damage!? What? Those idiotic techs must have loaded my guns with peanuts or something. No matter…
Swerve Right: Again the trench return fire was ineffectual. My strafing inflicted a point of damage to the westernmost trench, as the centre trench left my sights.

All three trenches had one point of damage. My plane was just over the rear of the AAMG centre trench heading towards 10:00.

I planned my next three maneuvers: Straight, Immelmann Turn (that’s a flip, which reverses your direction. Geesh, how Green are you?!), Straight.

Straight: I headed straight WNW to prepare for the Immelmann Turn. Unfortunately, this put all the trenches either behind me or to my left. Fortunately, I was still out of range of the AAG and the trench fire was ineffectual.

Immelmann Turn: I was now headed ESE (towards 4:00) with the trenches laid out in front of me. I tried to tell you I was pure brilliance. Well, I was. Somehow that NW AA Gun must have moved or something, because I was now within range and it smacked me heard in the tail (6 hits!). I unleashed my guns a the centre trench and inflicted 2 damage and silenced the AAMG! Trench return fire hit my engine and it began to stall! (I was now forced to play one stall maneuver every three maneuvers)

Straight: This maneuver brought me back to where I started. Just behind, partially over, the centre trench. I let that Eastern Trench face the full fury of my wrath. My guns pepper the trench, scared a dog, and caused zero damage. sigh. Return fire was ineffectual.

Okay, not too good shooting on my part. A bit of an oversight and smack on the bottom by the AA Gun. My plane was stalling and couldn’t turn right. My Perfect Plan TM wasn’t quite going as expected. But I knew I’d take out all three trenches this turn with some good shooting.

My planned maneuvers: Immelmann Turn, Straight, Stall. As I didn’t have to worry about the NW AA Gun which was now reloading.

Immelmann Turn: I took two shots at the Western Trench for a 2 and 1. 3 hits. 4 hits total! Never underestimate Baron Balthassar! Looks like the Baron would be victorious this evening! The trenches returned fire. First they blew off my left rudder. (I couldn’t turn at all now!), then they… well, for some odd reason, I can’t remember anything more. The Central Powers High Command said they blew up my plane. But we all know that can’t be true. This was the Perfect Plan TM, remember.

Ah well. There is always tomorrow. You see, I’ve just developed the Seamless Scheme TM. Totally Foolproof. Which is very useful you see. As High Command is saying some very hurtful things about my ‘foolish’ flying. They’re only Albatrosses. Get over it. No need to insult me.

Well, I got my report card for the mission. Not quite the F- like last time, more of a… well straight F. I delivered 8 hits to the trenches (4 West, 3 Centre, 1 East) and was deducted 12 points for losing my plane, for a total of -4. Well, I’ve learned a few things and I’ve been promoted from Green to Not-Quite-So Green. Hey, it’s something.

I’ve also heard a rumor that they are going to left me shoot some balloons next time. How hard could that be?! Piece of Cake. Surely even I could manage that!

Stay tuned for the further adventures of….Baron Balthassar, the Not-Quite-So Green Baron of the Skies!!!

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Agent J
United States
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He's looking real sharp in his 1940's fedora. He's got nerves of steel, an iron will, and several other metal-themed attributes. His fur is water tight and he's always up for a fight.
He's a semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action. He's a furry little flat-foot who'll never flinch from a fray. He's got more than just mad skills, he's got a beaver tail and a bill.
Balloons are easy, for sure. Good luck in your next mission!

Just remember, nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

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