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Subject: Mission: Absurd rss

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Your mission, should you decide to accept it is to break into the biggest safe this side of Texas and return the items to their rightful owners. You must be in and out of the complex in 40(5 min to get in and 5 min to get out) minutes. I do not have to stress the importance of this matter. As always, should you or any member of your force be caught or killed, the Secretary will disavow all knowledge of your actions. This tape will self destruct in five seconds. Good luck.

The boss was right this safe may as well be Texas. It had to be 40' by 40'. As we had no intel on how to open the safe we needed to sneak into the building and head for the safe.

Once we arrived it seemed obvious how to open the safe. There were four key holes. We did have intel that if the safe did require keys they would probably somewhere in the complex. Well we all split up to go find the keys and randomly assigned who got what gear.

Did I mention we got a robot?!?! He was small and must have been undetectable. That must have been cause he moved so fast. Don't understand why they couldn't just let him loose in here.

As I said we all split up. I went with Mr. Blue*. Mr. Blue was a little faster than me and he got to a room with a huge weight in it. Now we were told if there were keys they would be booby trapped. Unless of course we managed to allow the weight to topple us I'm not so sure this was a trap. So we lifted the weight and found a key. This was going to be easy I thought.

Oh, I almost forgot about the security in this place. What a joke! A lone security guard and some dog who would wander a few steps from their respective "cages" ever so randomly and look around.

At one point I had to sneak down the hall where the guards office was as to move to a corner room quicker. Well, just as I made it past the door he decides to come waltzing out. Not wanting to alert him of my other team members I turned off my radio and tried to hide most of my items. He didn't even search me. He just took me to this low tech cell and went on his merry way. Wow, I thought. I had to assemble a team of four for this!

Moments later I was able to break the lock and scrambled for that corner room. Luckily I found a secret passage way there. I didn't ask.

Mr. Blue ended up getting zapped. Mr Green and Mr Orange found a key as did I. As we waited in the safe room for Mr. Orange to return with his key I wondered... Lets just say I wondered a lot of things.

So we got the last key with 10(5 on clock) minutes to spare, turned the lock and the safe started to play the 1812 Overture. I was amazed for sure. Obviously the Guard and Dog came running. We neutralized them, got the packages, and got out of there.

I'm starting to question the point of these missions. But I do not ask for the money is too good.

*Clever reference.

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