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BoardGameGeek» Forums » Gaming Related » General Gaming

Subject: Does anybody remember this game? Does anybody WANT to? rss

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David Heldt
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Two panzer jocks in the South Seas hoping that soon they'll get lei'd--
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The other day I happened to recall a game. I only played it once at a convention nearly 25 years ago, but it created a lasting impression--mainly because the GM claimed it was the worst game ever published, and I wholeheartedly agreed. It's not in the database and I don't have enough information to enter it myself, but if somebody out there has heard of the game and has the needed info, you can make some GG even as you laugh at your entry.

The game was called King Kamehameha and was played on a very cheap plastic map depicting the big island of Hawaii. Players rolled a d6 and moved their pawns along a path which wound around the map, eventually ending in a loop of five spaces which I seem to remember were meant to depict the rim of a volcano. If you landed on another player you simply moved on to the next open space--unless you were in that final loop, in which case landing on someone else eliminated the landed-on player. The last surviving player was the winner.

That's right, folks--100% luck combined with almost 0% thematic flavor. Enter this game if you dare--
 
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Andreas Johansson
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I spent 200 GG and all I got was this lousy overtext!
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I spent 200 GG and all I got was this lousy overtext!
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Never heard of the game before, but the gameplay is vaguely reminicent of the stereotype of South Sea islanders throwing sacrificial victims into volcanoes.
 
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davepanzer wrote:
That's right, folks--100% luck


Yeah, but I bet you roll the dice often enough during the game for the luck to balance out.
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Dane Peacock
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That tickles
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Sounds almost like Mouse Trap, but at least with Mouse Trap you get the cool contraption.
 
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Dwsparks
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The whole throwing yourself into the volcano thing reminds me of Bitin' Off Hedz, a Cheapass game that would be slightly more strategic (but only slightly) than the game described.

Oddly enough, the first player to throw themselves into the volcano in Bitin' Off Hedz wins.
 
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Bill the Pill
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The "roll and move" aspect sounds bad, but not as bad as the truely worst game ever, Pumpkin King:
www.boardgamegeek.com/game/19614
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Keng Ho Pwee
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I actually wouldn't mind trading for a set of the Pumpkin King, just for the bits (particularly the dice).
 
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Barry Kendall
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Sounds horrid, but it would have to really reach bottom then dig some to go lower than "The Cattlemen."
 
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Richard Irving
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Quote:
That's right, folks--100% luck combined with almost 0% thematic flavor.


So it is like almost every roll and move game the Milton Bradley put out over the years.
 
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Robert Rossney
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You know, a game where one player played Kamehameha and the other played Maui, Molokai, and Oahu could be pretty darned interesting.
 
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DK Kemler
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Quote:
The "roll and move" aspect sounds bad, but not as bad as the truely worst game ever, Pumpkin King:
www.boardgamegeek.com/game/19614


Naw, the WORST game I found at a thrift store, and was rejected by BGG for "not being enough of a game". It's called Telektonon and as far as I can tell, is board game primer to some bizarre cult. You use a giant board, turtles, pyramids and a crystal to communicate with Myan gods who were lovers, one which lives here on Earth, and the other on Mars. By communicating with these gods you will reveal prophecies. You must fulfill these prophesies in a set amount of time. If you do so, you (Yes you, the player) will start to learn telepathy. No chit. Not only will you learn telepathy, you are required to use it on other players in the later stages of the "game" As you continue playing, BTW did I mention you play in real time? And by real time I mean 1 day = 1 day (there are even certain days the rules forbid you from playing). Anyways as you progress in your telepathy skills, you will start predicting more and more important prophecys, which eventually will culminate in allowing you to save the world (yes, the real one, Earth), saving everyone from "false time". If you succeed in saving the world, you win.

I have yet to find a worse game, or wackier mechanic.
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Barry Figgins
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I think I saw a game like that volcano game at a con a short while ago, but it was renamed something like 'tempest'. Same thing - you move up, but if you're in the final ring and land on someone, they go back to start.
 
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John Lyons Beck
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degamer wrote:
Naw, the WORST game I found at a thrift store, and was rejected by BGG for "not being enough of a game". It's called Telektonon and as far as I can tell, is board game primer to some bizarre cult. You use a giant board, turtles, pyramids and a crystal to communicate with Myan gods who were lovers, one which lives here on Earth, and the other on Mars. By communicating with these gods you will reveal prophecies. You must fulfill these prophesies in a set amount of time. If you do so, you (Yes you, the player) will start to learn telepathy. No chit. Not only will you learn telepathy, you are required to use it on other players in the later stages of the "game" As you continue playing, BTW did I mention you play in real time? And by real time I mean 1 day = 1 day (there are even certain days the rules forbid you from playing). Anyways as you progress in your telepathy skills, you will start predicting more and more important prophecys, which eventually will culminate in allowing you to save the world (yes, the real one, Earth), saving everyone from "false time". If you succeed in saving the world, you win.


I played that game a long time ago.

I won.

I became Lord God Master of Matter, Space & Time. sauron

To prevent anyone else from winning, I went back in time and changed the game to really suck, so no one would ever play it ever again.



...

These aren't the droids you're looking for.
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DK Kemler
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Brave Sir Robin wrote:
degamer wrote:
Naw, the WORST game I found at a thrift store, and was rejected by BGG for "not being enough of a game". It's called Telektonon and as far as I can tell, is board game primer to some bizarre cult. You use a giant board, turtles, pyramids and a crystal to communicate with Myan gods who were lovers, one which lives here on Earth, and the other on Mars. By communicating with these gods you will reveal prophecies. You must fulfill these prophesies in a set amount of time. If you do so, you (Yes you, the player) will start to learn telepathy. No chit. Not only will you learn telepathy, you are required to use it on other players in the later stages of the "game" As you continue playing, BTW did I mention you play in real time? And by real time I mean 1 day = 1 day (there are even certain days the rules forbid you from playing). Anyways as you progress in your telepathy skills, you will start predicting more and more important prophecys, which eventually will culminate in allowing you to save the world (yes, the real one, Earth), saving everyone from "false time". If you succeed in saving the world, you win.


I played that game a long time ago.

I won.

I became Lord God Master of Matter, Space & Time. sauron

To prevent anyone else from winning, I went back in time and changed the game to really suck, so no one would ever play it ever again.



...

These aren't the droids you're looking for.


But the turtles... WHY the turtles?
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Ralph
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rayito2702 wrote:
davepanzer wrote:
That's right, folks--100% luck


Yeah, but I bet you roll the dice often enough during the game for the luck to balance out.


mod +1 Funny
 
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Simon Lundström
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degamer wrote:
Naw, the WORST game I found at a thrift store, and was rejected by BGG for "not being enough of a game". It's called Telektonon [...]


I laughed out loud. That had GOT to be the best game ever.

I just have to inform my Assassin-hating buddy about The pumpkin king…

Edit: I just invented a better game:

The first guy who walks to the moon wins!

Let's get gaming, folks!
 
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John Lyons Beck
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degamer wrote:
Brave Sir Robin wrote:
degamer wrote:
Naw, the WORST game I found at a thrift store, and was rejected by BGG for "not being enough of a game". It's called Telektonon and as far as I can tell, is board game primer to some bizarre cult. You use a giant board, turtles, pyramids and a crystal to communicate with Myan gods who were lovers, one which lives here on Earth, and the other on Mars. By communicating with these gods you will reveal prophecies. You must fulfill these prophesies in a set amount of time. If you do so, you (Yes you, the player) will start to learn telepathy. No chit. Not only will you learn telepathy, you are required to use it on other players in the later stages of the "game" As you continue playing, BTW did I mention you play in real time? And by real time I mean 1 day = 1 day (there are even certain days the rules forbid you from playing). Anyways as you progress in your telepathy skills, you will start predicting more and more important prophecys, which eventually will culminate in allowing you to save the world (yes, the real one, Earth), saving everyone from "false time". If you succeed in saving the world, you win.


I played that game a long time ago.

I won.

I became Lord God Master of Matter, Space & Time. sauron

To prevent anyone else from winning, I went back in time and changed the game to really suck, so no one would ever play it ever again.



...

These aren't the droids you're looking for.


But the turtles... WHY the turtles?


See? I knew you were going to say that.
 
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Jeff Binning
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Quote:
The "roll and move" aspect sounds bad, but not as bad as the truely worst game ever, Pumpkin King

Sounds horrid, but it would have to really reach bottom then dig some to go lower than "The Cattlemen."


I'd have to nominate Global Survival. Imagine Monopoly, with less interesting options and taking longer.
 
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Gabe Covert
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degamer wrote:
But the turtles... WHY the turtles?


Because it's turtles... all the way down...
 
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John Lyons Beck
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degamer wrote:

But the turtles... WHY the turtles?




DO NOT QUESTION THE TURTLE GOD
THE TURTLE GOD KNOWS ALL
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Michael Bachelor
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Strictly Speaking, Global Survival has the lowest rating of all games with over 30 ratings.

Technically, it's the biggest looser...
 
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Matt Razincka
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Sounds like CandyLand with a volcano!
 
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David Heldt
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Well, some interesting other nominees here. Unfortunately, compared to King Kamehameha, they all have better flavor and/or better components.

And I'm still looking for more info on King Kamehameha!
 
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