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Subject: How to properly slam into wildlife with your car! rss

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Diane Close
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It's Spring! The wildlife are a runnin' and a ruttin'. This is a very timely and useful video: "How to properly slam into wildlife with your car".

"You just polished off a bacon Whopper, and suddenly you’re St. Francis of Assisi? Don’t risk people’s lives to save a duck."

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Curt Carpenter
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Surprisingly, the advice is actually serious.
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¡dn ʇǝƃ ʇ,uɐɔ ı puɐ uǝllɐɟ ǝʌ,ı
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It's all true, but how many Canadians have died because of crashing into giant drunk toddlers? I think that this would put the overall number much higher.
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Diane Close
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Rudy
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Huh, I never thought about releasing the breaks just before impact. This allows the front of your car to lift giving you a chance of not having the animal fly through your windshield. Now to find some animal crossing signs to test myself.
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Kelsey Rinella
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MABBY wrote:
It's all true, but how many Canadians have died because of crashing into giant drunk toddlers? I think that this would put the overall number much higher.


Not drunk, just lost. Everybody knows the Wicked Big Toddlah’s from Maine.
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Michael Howden
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Gary Sonnenberg
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Or just stay out of Canada between 9PM and midnight?

(No offense, Canadians.)
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¡dn ʇǝƃ ʇ,uɐɔ ı puɐ uǝllɐɟ ǝʌ,ı
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You don't see moose very often west of Ontario, unless you're in the Rocky Mountains and even then they are pretty elusive.
They have a ton of them in Northern Quebec and in Newfoundland, though.

Not to say that you can't see them in other provinces. They are in the most unexpected places, as I can attest. I was driving home from work one day (4:30 pm) and I looked to my right and there was a moose running through a field, parallel to the road. Busy road, too.
Thing is, he was keeping up with traffic (around 70 km/hr).
I saw that it was going to run out of field soon-- a house dead ahead-- so I slowed way down in case he wanted to dart across the road in front of me.
He stepped over a barbed wire fence like it wasn't even there wow and went toward the ditch. Seems like I was correct.
Only he reversed course; he took off the other direction in the ditch.
By now all traffic behind me had stopped, and I was flashing my headlights at oncoming traffic which also ground to a halt.
It took the chance to cross the road at an enormous speed, stepped over a barbed wire fence on the other side of the road/ ditch, and took off perpendicular to our road. Much safer for all involved, the moose included.
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Dwayne Hendrickson
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We were driving through a remote section of SE Colorado and they had tall posts along the road with red lights on top of them. When the red lights were on that indicated that there were wildlife within range of the road and could possibly jump in front of your car.

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Andy Andersen
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MABBY wrote:
You don't see moose very often west of Ontario, unless you're in the Rocky Mountains and even then they are pretty elusive.
They have a ton of them in Northern Quebec and in Newfoundland, though.

Not to say that you can't see them in other provinces. They are in the most unexpected places, as I can attest. I was driving home from work one day (4:30 pm) and I looked to my right and there was a moose running through a field, parallel to the road. Busy road, too.
Thing is, he was keeping up with traffic (around 70 km/hr).
I saw that it was going to run out of field soon-- a house dead ahead-- so I slowed way down in case he wanted to dart across the road in front of me.
He stepped over a barbed wire fence like it wasn't even there wow and went toward the ditch. Seems like I was correct.
Only he reversed course; he took off the other direction in the ditch.
By now all traffic behind me had stopped, and I was flashing my headlights at oncoming traffic which also ground to a halt.
It took the chance to cross the road at an enormous speed, stepped over a barbed wire fence on the other side of the road/ ditch, and took off perpendicular to our road. Much safer for all involved, the moose included.


Problem with a clever moose?
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Odious Maximus
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Yep, braking only as much as you can and honking the horn is the way to go. Any further evasive action could be lethal. Also, swerving in an old El Dorado is a bad idea at any speed
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Gastel Etswane
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Orangemoose wrote:
MABBY wrote:
You don't see moose very often west of Ontario, unless you're in the Rocky Mountains and even then they are pretty elusive.
They have a ton of them in Northern Quebec and in Newfoundland, though.

Not to say that you can't see them in other provinces. They are in the most unexpected places, as I can attest. I was driving home from work one day (4:30 pm) and I looked to my right and there was a moose running through a field, parallel to the road. Busy road, too.
Thing is, he was keeping up with traffic (around 70 km/hr).
I saw that it was going to run out of field soon-- a house dead ahead-- so I slowed way down in case he wanted to dart across the road in front of me.
He stepped over a barbed wire fence like it wasn't even there wow and went toward the ditch. Seems like I was correct.
Only he reversed course; he took off the other direction in the ditch.
By now all traffic behind me had stopped, and I was flashing my headlights at oncoming traffic which also ground to a halt.
It took the chance to cross the road at an enormous speed, stepped over a barbed wire fence on the other side of the road/ ditch, and took off perpendicular to our road. Much safer for all involved, the moose included.


Problem with a clever moose?

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Erik D
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I ran over a possum once. Not the whole thing, just its head. I could hear the crunch.

I also had a suicidal bird dive bomb itself under my tire. Its timing was impeccable.
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Odious Maximus
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erak wrote:
I ran over a possum once. Not the whole thing, just its head. I could hear the crunch.

I also had a suicidal bird dive bomb itself under my tire. Its timing was impeccable.
You get bonus points if at the time you were driving an El Dorado whilst eating burgers out of those old Styrofoam packages.
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Michael Carter
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erak wrote:
I ran over a possum once. Not the whole thing, just its head. I could hear the crunch.

I also had a suicidal bird dive bomb itself under my tire. Its timing was impeccable.


I have hit two birds while riding a motorcycle. One flew through my rear wheel and the other bounced off my helmet. You tend to hit them on late summer afternoons when they are swooping to catch insects.
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Dane Peacock
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I posted this a few years ago, but it seems appropriate for this thread.

My friend and his wife were driving on the freeway at night when they hit a deer.

They got out and the poor thing was still alive thrashing around in the middle of the road. My friend didn’t know what to do. This was before cell phones. He thought of several things, including getting the tire iron, but he was at a loss.

While pondering his problem, a semi came barreling around the corner. My friend and his wife moved off the road just as the truck smashed into the deer, pulverizing it and dragging it down the road. Problem solved.

The trucker slammed on his brakes, got out, and ran back to where they were standing. He was panicking and crying and yelling ‘sorry’ at them. When things settled down, the trucker said that he had spotted them standing in the road just before he felt the impact as the truck hit something. He was sure that he had just killed someone.

So, win-win: Wounded deer taken care of and no vehicular manslaughter charges for the trucker.
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