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A.D. 30» Forums » Sessions

Subject: Another alternate history of Jesus rss

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Russ Williams
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1. Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan. Jesus preached to the people there; Peter, James the Great, and Thaddeus were swayed by his words and joined him as apostles, accompanying him into the desert.

2. In the desert, people begged Jesus to let them touch even the edge of his cloak, and all who touched it were healed. Jesus prayed and prayed and prayed before traveling to Galilee.

3. In Galilee, Jesus performed many miracles, which caused Caiaphas to hesitate in his resolve against Jesus. Meanwhile Herod the tetrach arrested John the Baptist and had John beheaded in the prison. His head was brought in on a platter.

4. Jesus continued to perform miracles, saying: Behold, something greater than Jonah is here. Jesus sent Thaddeus to Pilate to relate these events, and caused Pilate to hesitate as well.

5. A Samaritan, as he traveled, came where an injured man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. This too softened the heart of Caiaphas.

6. But Satan tempted Jesus, and as he briefly stumbled in the darkness, Caiaphas and the Pharisees redoubled their resolve and machinations against Jesus, seeking to stone Jesus.

7. At a wedding banquet in Bethany, the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. Thus Jesus revealed his glory, gaining Andrew as an apostle and many other followers.

8. Now there was a Pharisee, a man named Nicodemus. He came to Jesus at night. Jesus told him: "Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again." As Jesus explained the prophecy, he was again tempted by Satan.

9. Jesus took Peter, James, and Andrew with him into Gethsemane, where they were all alone. There he was transfigured before them. His clothes became dazzling white, whiter than anyone in the world could bleach them. And there appeared before them Elijah and Moses, who were talking with Jesus. Jesus felt renewed resolve.

10. While these events took place, Caiaphas and the Pharisees continued to plot against Jesus.

11. The Pharisees sent the collectors of the two-drachma temple tax to demand payment from Jesus. Jesus told Peter: "Take the first fish you catch; open its mouth and you will find a four-drachma coin. Take it and give it to them for my tax and yours."

12. In the temple, Jesus spoke further: "Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God." His words gained him two more apostles, Judas and James the Lesser.

13. A furious storm arose in Jerusalem, as Herod and Caiaphas both ordered the arrest of Jesus. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don’t you care if we are lost?" Jesus got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the threat from Herod and Caiaphas died down and it was completely calm.

14. Thus Jesus learned that the Pharisees knew that he was gaining and baptizing more disciples than John had done. So they began to travel again.

15. And he sent messengers on ahead, who went into a Samaritan village to get things ready for him; but the people there did not welcome him, because he was heading for Jerusalem. When the disciples Peter and John saw this, they asked, "Lord, do you want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them?" Jesus was tempted, but Judas began to argue with his teacher and rebuked him.

16. This news spread quickly over the whole region of Galilee and beyond. In Jerusalem, Caiaphas seized the opportunity to try to arrest Jesus again, unsuccessfully.

17. Also Herod now tried to arrest Jesus, who again escaped with his apostles, and also some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases, including Mary (called Magdalene) from whom seven demons had come out.

18. Also Pilate now tried to arrest Jesus, who again escaped, to Jericho. A man was there by the name of Zacchaeus; he was a chief tax collector and was wealthy. When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him: "Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today." Zacchaeus welcomed him gladly.

19. A dinner was given in Jesus' honor. Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. But one of his disciples, Judas Iscariot, who was later to betray him, objected and fell into despair.

20. Judas entered Jerusalem and met Pilate there, arranging betrayal which would come soon, and they both left Jerusalem after this meeting. Later in his hometown, Jesus tried to teach unsuccessfully. Tempted by anger, he reproached them: "A prophet is not without honor except in his own town and in his own home." And he did not do many miracles there because of their lack of faith.

21. During his last night in Gethsemane, Jesus prayed piously. He then began his final journey to Jerusalem. On his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, "Jesus, Master, have pity on us!" When he saw them, he said, "Go, show yourselves to the priests." And as they went, they were cleansed.

22. Pilate, Herod, and Judas the betrayer all convened in Jerusalem. Jesus was captured and crucified. Despite the magnificent story of Jesus, his five loyal apostles Peter, James the Greater, Thaddeus, Andrew, and James the Lesser were not numerous enough to spread the Christian religion strongly enough throughout the Roman empire...


(It had been a while since I played, and so I took the opportunity to play on Easter. I finished with 13 points, a Minor Defeat. Just one point more would have been a Minor Victory...)
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Simon Woodward
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That reminds me of a story.

A man walks into a bar. "Can you change an $18 note?"

"Sure, do you want two $9s or three $6s?"
 
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Simon Woodward
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Also, I want to know where Jesus gets his clothes cleaned. My son plays cricket and it is really hard to wash those grass stains out and get them white again.
 
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Tim
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Very nice report and a very appropriate game to play on Easter.

Cheers,
Tim
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