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Subject: Session Report rss

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It was a muddy, downright lethal day in Zandvoort, Holland. There were three teams of racers for a three-lap race in unpredictable weather. All but two racers selected soft tires, superior in dry weather but impossible to control once the rain hit the pavement. And it did.

Pole Position
1. Ralph R. (Blue Team, Mark)
2. Dale Earnhart (The Intimidators, Jon)
3. John Kerry (Team USA, Matt)
4. Lance Armstrong (Team USA, Matt)
5. Jon J. ((The Intimidators, Jon)
6. Me (Blue Team, Mark)

The race began promisingly enough in the very first corner of Zandvoort, with a screeching of tires and a dozen near-collisions leading to crippling damage for promising contendor Dale Earnhart, who kicked it up into fifth gear to break away from the pack-- just in time for a sudden downpour, a literal hosing from God Himself. Dale's car, poorly equipped to deal with the rain, screeched like a banshee as he skidded five spaces past a turn, completely depleting his tires and brakes, and the rain threatened the other cars with annihilation.

As quickly as it began, the downpour ended as the very next racer, John Kerry, rolled a 20 to pull almost even with Dale and threaten his lead. Ralph R. lingered not far behind, and Lance, Jon and Mark all trailed distantly entering the sharp "2" turn. But fate was not to be with the Democrats, as the Intimidator dealt John Kerry a mortal blow in the turn, blowing his deadliest competition out of the water. But Ralph R. grimly set his foot down on the accelerator to accompany the newfound downpour of rain, and blew several tires to take the lead. Jonathan J. was unable to manage the tight turn, and crashed trying to escape. All the while, Lance Armstrong and Mark K. jockeyed for the position of second-to-last entering the second lap while the rain dried up.

Dale Earnhart stole a dominating lead entering the second lap, scorning the pit stops for an invention of the weak, muscling into the turn in sixth gear-- in time for another hosing as the rain resumed its patter, causing Dale to wildly underestimate the turn. Ralph R. gunned the engine and began a dangerous game of catch-up, using his knowledge of advanced calculus to precisely take the penultimate turn, while the Intimidator headed for the final straightaway of lap two. But fortune was to prove a friend of neither gentleman, as Mr. Rzeszutko skidded through the last turn in horror. In a deal worthy of Satan, he gunned the accelerator and shot his car straight into the rear spoilers of Dale Earnhart, sending their cars straight to the afterlife in a spectacular singular burst of glory.

In the rear of the pack, Lance Armstrong and Mark K. were laughing their rear ends off.

However, the wreckage claimed a new victim as Lance Armstrong gunned that fateful final turn before the finish line and pit stop. Bereft of good judgement, tires, and any braking ability, Lance Armstrong foolishly overran the curve to crash straight into the remains of Dale and Ralph. The weak finisher, Mark, sputtered past the finish line, dodging and weaving to avoid the oncoming ambulances as the rain finally stopped.

Very good game.
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