Wow, so this is what you get for 100 pieces of gold.
Webb walked quickly into the game store. He was so focused on his objective that he failed to notice a robbery was in place, with four gang members holding onto new games in one hand, and knives in the other hand.
“Get him”, yelled the gang leader.
Three gang members rushed Webb. It had been three months since had used any violence, but the instincts of Jason Bourne took over. He was Bourne now. He dodged the knife of the first gang member, hit the outstretched arm of the knife, causing the knife to fall harmlessly to the floor, while simultaneously kicking the gang member in the neck.
“Carcassone” intoned Bourne as he incapacitated the first gang member. Memories were starting to flow through him now. Three months ago, he was at a board game conference, playing games with cute women, some who giggled nervously when he sat down at their table and asked if he could join them for a game of Power Grid. Later the women had added him to their Geek Buddy list. That was then, this was now.
“Caylus” said Bourne involuntarily as he round housed kicked the second gang member in the sternum and stunning him with a karate chop to the back of the head. The gang member dropped all his boxes of games, spilling out illegal pronghorn sheep meeples, and wildebeest meeples.
The third gang member slashed upward at Bourne. Bourne dodged backwards and as the gang member closed in for another slash, Bourne used his right leg to kick the assailant in the right knee. The gang member dropped to one knee in pain and Bourne caught the gang member in the stomach with a left footed kick. Panda meeples dropped on the floor as the gang member fell stunned.
The gang leader took one look at Bourne and made a dash for the exit, knocking over expensive copies of World of Warcraft: The Boardgame and Battlelore Hill Giant figurines. Bourne caught him right at the exit door.
“Please don’t hurt me”, whimpered the gang leader.
“What were you doing here?”
“Nothing, I swear.”
“You call this nothing?”
The gang leader pretended to droop his shoulders, then suddenly made a quick right hand hook at Bourne’s face, but Bourne was even quicker, pinning the right hand to the floor and violently twisting the gang leader.
“Oh Agricola, please don’t hurt me!” squealed the gang leader.
“Am I in a game store or on a farm?” replied Bourne.
“Who are you?”whined the gang leader. “The designer?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“I said you don’t want to know.”
“Are you the one they call Bou..” and the gang leader choked on his last word. “I’ve never seen you before, I swear to Agricola!”
“You know what will happen if I catch you or any of your gang members again?”
“You will never see me again, I swear!”
The four wounded gang members limped as quickly as they could out of the game store.
The clerk at the store, a young blond haired woman, peeped cautiously over the counter.
“Is it safe?” she said.
“They will never bother you again”, said Bourne.
“How can I thank you?”
“No thank you is required.”
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
“I’m looking for a new game, it’s called Agoraphobia”
“Oh”, said the clerk. “It’s actually called Agricola.”
“I’ll take a copy.”
“It’s free, on the house.”
“I always pay for what I buy”, insisted Bourne, and he left a $100 bill on the counter. “Keep the change”.
“Who are you?” gushed the clerk.
“You really don’t want to know”. Webb took the copy of the game under his arm and melted away into the mall, leaving the clerk speechless.