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Subject: Playing games with people you hate. rss

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Jeff Hinrickson
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How do you go about avoiding playing games with people you hate? What I mean is what if 3 out of the 4 people you are playing with you like but that 1 you think is a jerk. You just cannot stand to even look and them, and every word they speak you just sit back and think about what kind of ass hole this is.

I have thought about naming another place to meet up and not telling this one other person, but we have kind of became fond of the game store we play games at.

What should I do?

Signed,

Distressed Gamer.


PS: I am not the one who dislikes this person in our group it is someone else, but he is too chicken to make a post about it.
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True Blue Jon
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"I came to play games with my friends. Sorry, but that doesn't include you."
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Jeff Hinrickson
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quozl wrote:
"I came to play games with my friends. Sorry, but that doesn't include you."


Nothing like a straight shooter.
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James Cheevers
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Ususally if I'm gaming in larger groups I'll make the excuse that I don't like the game being offered (or burnt out on it for the time being) and play in another game. If there's only one game on offer then I can't help.

If the other game available is one you can't stand then you have a decision to make.

I've had experiences where I've been stuck in a game with a person I could barely tolerate for whatever reason and it is a stressful thing. Every little 'unique' mannerism they possess becomes a major irritant.

Of course, there are probably players out there who are reading this and thinking of me

Luckily I've always managed to find decent gaming groups where the biggest problem I can identify is a bit of AP.
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Matt Robertson
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A few suggestions:

One:
If there is only one person that is distressed by this person, perhaps he/she needs to examine what is distressing. Could be a matter of needing to practice some more tolerance and learn to focus on the positive.

TWO:
If this person truly is grating and not liked by others you could speak with the person directly. Not about the person, but about the behaviours that are unacceptable.

THREE:
Discuss this with the owner of the store and see if the owner could outline errant behaviours with this person. After all, I imagine the store owner is concerned with everyone's enjoyment level.

FOUR:
Host the game at your place. Find a way to make that work. Then you have full control over the invite list. I host a member only website that I post game invites on. It is closed and open only for family and friends. It is a tool we use to organize all sorts of events and activities. Currently it has 78 members. Start small, build yourself a community of people you enjoy playing with. Games are for fun, for that reason, I am choosy who I game with. Exercise your right to go elsewhere and create a venue that works for you.

"Life is Short. Play Games."

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J C Lawrence
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jjloc wrote:
What should I do?


I do two things:

1) Attempt to organise games which don't include that individual.

2) Happily play the games that do end up including them.
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Jeff Hinrickson
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We have a bunch of weirdo's in our group.

1) this guy doesn't like to play certain games for really absurd reasons.
2) this guy doesn't like to play games with people he knows he will get beat by.

**Guy 2 despises guy 1 because of his (guy 1) quirk, not thinking his quirk is odd.

3) this guy makes sound effects all the f***ing time for no reason.

** I don't care for this dude, luckily he hasn't been coming lately.

4) this guy is a pig, he is a sloppy eater and burps and farts alot.

**We have a girl in our group who hates this dude.

5) Me, I am an idiot because most of these people are members of BGG and will see this post.

This is really turning out to be a soap opera, which is why I personally like going every Tuesday. Boy am I in f***ing trouble.
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Olivier Lamontagne
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Find his BGG account, always suggest game he rates 3 or below
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Jim Stephens
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While I can perfectly appreciate brutal honesty, that doesn't solve the situations. True gaming is inherently social, and being that blunt doesn't help the situation.

I have been informed I am a very patient person, but there are those whom can annoy me very, very quickly and without fail. Few things to consider.

1. You could try being nice. It's a good way to annoy them, as they won't know how to respond. Who knows, they might stop being a jerk.
2. Tune them out/ignore them. It's not always easy, but it can be done.
3. Organize a game prior to the jerk appearing, while don't actively exclude the individual (that could make it worse), simply get started before he arrives.

These are by no means universal, merely based on my limited experience. Lets face it, we're gamers we attracted ALL types. This is not easy issue because there are so many kinds of jerks. The vast majority of annoying people I have encountered simply have chaffing personalities, they are not 'mean-spirited' (as Mom used to say) just simply socially inept. You can't do anything about them, other than be polite. Arrogance seems to be the other leading cause of jerks, and they best ignored. Responses to them best remain short and abstract, "Sure", "Whatever", and *grunt*, will get them to shut up quickly as it kills the potential conversation dead.
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Steve Severino
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Kill him and bury him in the backyard. We won't tell. I swear.
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Chris Hanratty
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SultanSevy wrote:
Kill him and bury him in the backyard. We won't tell. I swear.


Some of us might even help!
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J.L. Robert
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Have you spoken to him about his behavior? Perhaps he's not aware of your discomfort.

If he is aware of it, have you called him out at the table with the other players present? You'll see whether or not your other partners are as fed up with him as you are.

You can always find MORE people to play with.
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Joel K
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Even if you had no location information in your profile, I would have guessed that this situation arose in Minnesota, land of the milquetoast and the repressed.

Either somebody needs to just develop a spine and address the issue(s), or decide that it isn't worth the battle and find new people to game with.

If I wasn't so familiar with the habits of native Minnesotans, I would not be able to fathom why anyone would continue subjecting themselves to the situation you describe. I haven't had any difficulty at all finding normal, well-adjusted people to game with.
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Jeff Hinrickson
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J.L.Robert wrote:
Have you spoken to him about his behavior? Perhaps he's not aware of your discomfort.

If he is aware of it, have you called him out at the table with the other players present? You'll see whether or not your other partners are as fed up with him as you are.

You can always find MORE people to play with.


Yes I could probably find others to GAME with. Your use of play makes it seem like I'm diddling the guy.
 
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Man thinks, the river flows.
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    Playing in a public venue greatly diminishes your options. Given your circumstances, everyone who shows up needs to get along. If they don't like it they'll likely need to move on.

             Sag.


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Jeff Hinrickson
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JoelCFC25 wrote:
Even if you had no location information in your profile, I would have guessed that this situation arose in Minnesota, land of the milquetoast and the repressed.

Either somebody needs to just develop a spine and address the issue(s), or decide that it isn't worth the battle and find new people to game with.

If I wasn't so familiar with the habits of native Minnesotans, I would not be able to fathom why anyone would continue subjecting themselves to the situation you describe. I haven't had any difficulty at all finding normal, well-adjusted people to game with.


You nailed it dude.
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Blake Phillips
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Plant tomatoes over the grave - they will turn out perfectly.

SultanSevy wrote:
Kill him and bury him in the backyard. We won't tell. I swear.
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Bwian, just
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JoelCFC25 wrote:
If I wasn't so familiar with the habits of native Minnesotans, I would not be able to fathom why anyone would continue subjecting themselves to the situation you describe. I haven't had any difficulty at all finding normal, well-adjusted people to game with.

I've run into the problem in Colorado, too...

I stopped showing up. Not worth the battle, so I moved to a different set of games, on a different night, and went my merry way.
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Clackamas Lee
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I believe in the straightforward approach. It sounds like there are enough annoying behaviors in this group that a frank conversation including everyone is in order. However, I am aware that this is easier said than done. I’ve had it work out well on several occasions, but terribly once. I had a group disband over it once because everyone’s feelings were hurt. I’ve had more groups break up over NOT addressing the issues though.
 
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J.L. Robert
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jjloc wrote:
J.L.Robert wrote:
Have you spoken to him about his behavior? Perhaps he's not aware of your discomfort.

If he is aware of it, have you called him out at the table with the other players present? You'll see whether or not your other partners are as fed up with him as you are.

You can always find MORE people to play with.


Yes I could probably find others to GAME with. Your use of play makes it seem like I'm diddling the guy.


Last I checked, I PLAY games; I certainly dont DATE them! But what you and your group do in your spare time is entirely up to you, collectively.
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Brad Fuller
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find out what games he hates and only play them
 
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Adam Alleman
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Bwian wrote:
JoelCFC25 wrote:
If I wasn't so familiar with the habits of native Minnesotans, I would not be able to fathom why anyone would continue subjecting themselves to the situation you describe. I haven't had any difficulty at all finding normal, well-adjusted people to game with.

I've run into the problem in Colorado, too...

I stopped showing up. Not worth the battle, so I moved to a different set of games, on a different night, and went my merry way.


Really? Who is it?
 
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J.L. Robert
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Bwian wrote:
JoelCFC25 wrote:
If I wasn't so familiar with the habits of native Minnesotans, I would not be able to fathom why anyone would continue subjecting themselves to the situation you describe. I haven't had any difficulty at all finding normal, well-adjusted people to game with.

I've run into the problem in Colorado, too...

I stopped showing up. Not worth the battle, so I moved to a different set of games, on a different night, and went my merry way.


That's a shame. I would have liked to have met another BGG'er while I was out there a couple weeks ago.

Maybe if I ever head back out there...
 
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Jonathan Takagi
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jjloc wrote:
We have a bunch of weirdo's in our group.

1) this guy doesn't like to play certain games for really absurd reasons.
2) this guy doesn't like to play games with people he knows he will get beat by.

**Guy 2 despises guy 1 because of his (guy 1) quirk, not thinking his quirk is odd.

3) this guy makes sound effects all the f***ing time for no reason.

** I don't care for this dude, luckily he hasn't been coming lately.

4) this guy is a pig, he is a sloppy eater and burps and farts alot.

**We have a girl in our group who hates this dude.

5) Me, I am an idiot because most of these people are members of BGG and will see this post.

This is really turning out to be a soap opera, which is why I personally like going every Tuesday. Boy am I in f***ing trouble.


Your game group sounds like the game New Orleans Big Band!
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Jae
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Sometimes, people are unaware of their "habits".
I think you should discretely and politely address them with this individual.

"The group is having difficulty coming to terms with some of your quirks right now. We are having a hard time coping with ___X___. We would be happy to continue gaming with you if you can work on that. Otherwise, we regretfully have to ask you to sit out on games with us."
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