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Subject: Corunea as reviewed by Christopher Walken and Vin Diesel. rss

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Paul DeStefano
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I am not Christopher Walken, nor am I Vin Diesel. I do however, work with Insight games. It would be unfair for me to review Corunea as someone who works on it. So instead, I figured it would be better if I reviewed it from the point of view of some people who are not involved with Insight.

The obvious choices that I'm sure popped into everyone's mind, just like mine, is Christopher Walken and Vin Diesel. Two men, alien, brutal and terrifying as the game itself. Here's the boys, as we join them mid game. Let's see what they think.



CW: Well, what we have here, on this ... table. This is the game. This is it. The game. Cards. Dice. Ten sided, of course, you know, that's the way to get more ... precision, rolling them as a ... number from 1 to 100. Percentile. Dice. And cards. But ... you know, it really doesn't play like a card game. That would be different. A different game. It isn't a different game. It's Corunea. Cah-Roo-Nay-Yah to the French. Isn't that just so ... gives me chills. Right there. Goosebumps. What ... what do you think so far, Vin?

VD: I think I don't know what the *%$! you're talking about. It's a card game. It has cards.

CW: Sure, it has cards. But do cards make it a card game. I mean, really, Vin. Does a cow have to be brown to give milk on a hot Georgia Monday in August? You know what I'm saying?

VD: No. I'm holding cards. Its a card game.

CW: Open up, Vin. See, these cards have those little marks on the back for health. What some people might call, I don't know, Hit Points. And Faharn. Say it with me. Faharn. What is Faharn? I don't know. I really don't. It might be manna, magic, fate, the touch of God, the beat of a hummingbird's wing that you can hear but you can't see. Faharn. But see, Vin, the cards aren't used as cards there. And that location. That's like our ... map. Map and these cards could have been little models, or, miniatures. Like that without any cards at all. Do you see? Do you see where I'm going.

VD: Listen. Card game. I have cards spread on the table. My guy. His stats. The stuff in his backpack, the spells he can cast, his gear, his &*%$ing philosophical agenda even. I bought a deck of cards. Are we clear? I think we're clear.

CW: You know... you call it what you want. I will call it what I want. I'm just saying ... during this game, Vin. Vin, can I call you Vin? What kind of name is that? That's not you're real name. Your parents did not call you Vin.

VD: Mike. My parents call me Mike. Can we just play the damn game?

CW: I was just pointing out, Mike, that...

VD: Who booked me this gig?

CW: Pointing out, I was, that during this game, how many cards have you drawn from that deck?

VD: Two. I think two.

CW: Now, if this were what you would like to call... a card game, wouldn't you have drawn cards every turn? Mike?

VD: Fine. It doesn't play like a card game. Its just a game with cards.

CW: A game. With cards. Not a card game. See... I knew... we would agree on this. Now that we have gotten ... past that, I'll let you explain a bit. About the game. The not a card game.

VD: I doubt anyone is still reading after all that. Each player plays a fantasy alien creature that...

CW: Excuse me. Mike? Vin? How about Mr. Diesel? But I ... bet that isn't your real name either. No... no matter. But fantasy. Alien. I mean, are we science fiction or Dungeons and you know, the dragons thing?

VD: I say fantasy. There's no sci-tech here. But also no elves or other bullcrap. This is a truly original world. There's these insane races and huge magic and outlandish weapons. They're a new kind of hero.

CW: And would you ... explain, Mr. "Diesel"... what these characters are what we would consider doing? In the. Game.

VD: I just want to make clear - I am never doing this again. It's a gladiator style combat. Each turn, you essentially choose what weapon, attack or power you would use or how you will move for advantage, things like that.

CW: And these choices. How do they work? These things that you choose?

VD: There's some tutorials online to explain if you really need to know. We are not here to teach. We want to get across the feel of the game. Let's be serious. There's a strange learning curve. These cards are multilingual or multifacial. Or really - non-lingual. Its almost as if you have to learn the symbolic system. Not hard. Once you 'get' it, it works real smooth. It's the getting it that might take a while. You think who the &!%@ came up with this. Bear with it. Don't give up. Once it clicks, the system plays so smooth. You choose your actions, roll your dice and get results. The action gets fast and furious.

CW: Like here. Last move. I ... attack. I choose my weapon, I roll some dice. Vin then steps in and chooses how to avoid getting, kind of, you know...

VD: Sliced vertically in half by an insane albino tribesman.

CW: Well... yeah. And he chooses his defense cards.

VD: Or not. I can just try to defend without using cards. Just roll dice, because each character has a character card.

CW: I thought we weren't going to use... that word. Card. I just...

VD: Fine. Your character sheet has stats. You roll dice, see if you can roll under your stat. So, if I dodge a throwing axe, maybe I have a dodge of 35%. Not good. I roll the dice. I fail. So I play some cards. Some powers. I change the die roll. I spend my Faharn points to reroll.

CW: Its that ... deciding. The game is about tough decisions we all have to face like in real life every day... like dodging axes.

VD: You scare me, you know that? But I know what you mean. Your cards are like abilities and powers and they're limited in use. You choose before game what's in your hand. Maybe 3 or 4 random cards, but most are chosen. Your character creation, your deck build, are far more important than the card order. The random element comes more from the dice than the cards. And then the cards change that and actually lower the random element. You just have to choose when it is more important to roll. When to spend a card that you will later have to take a turn re-readying.

CW: Each turn is like... a second. Maybe less. A swing, a blink, a glass breaking on a marble floor. And the rich tapestry of a combat is woven around you. Every blow, every feint, every footfall. And some turns are longer. Like a minute. Its all very mercurial.

VD: Its a detailed brawl. Lucky die rolls are lessened by good play. And the story really does build. You swing a sword, he dodges. He throws a knife. It bounces off your armor. You run for better position, he doesn't stop you. He casts a spell, the skies darken. You grab a bow as he's resting, fire a shot that bounces off a broken amulet on his chest. It plays out like a well choreographed fight scene in an action movie.

CW: And its weird.

VD: Oh, man, you would know. But he's right. It plays like a PvP match in an online roleplaying game. You're choosing powers, some position, and the computer, or in this case, the dice, do the figuring for you. The deck build and what you do with it really and truly determine the winner. Even through all the luck. Do you go all out, do you pace yourself, do you use poison.

CW: Vin... Mike... Would you say Faharn is like akin to a resource in this game?

VD: No. Only because I have no idea what you're talking about.

CW: Like Land cards in Magic. Like Energy in Pokemon. Like pizza in Brooklyn.

VD: Well, that's another weird thing. It's more like money. At the start of the game, everything is bid for. Auction for position. Auction for weather. Auction for who's scarier. That'd be you. Then During the game, what you didn't spend gets used as spell points and die rerolls. Very. #%$@ing. Intense. If you call it a resource - its your only one, and used for everything except your own damn blood. And even then, sometimes it is, if you use it to heal maybe.

CW: You have a ... language problem.

VD: Look who's talking. But serious. It ain't a kiddy game. It's harsh and violent. This game is practically printed in testosterone.

CW: I don't know. Some of these characters... They're girls. I'm pretty sure.

VD: Yeah, the characters look and play very different. Differeing stats, differing action choices, weapon types, things they simply can or can't do. Some of them are your fanboy fantasy chicks, but even then they are not you're typical low cut chainmail. And the characters play very different. Although that girl there, that Goth looking one, she's pretty nice. Even there, the art itself is even alien.

CW: I hear it was all computer.

VD: Well, it kind of is and isn't. You have to see for yourself. But it does make it hard to tell what the *%#& some of these characters are.

CW: Language.

VD: I'm only going to cool it because you terrify me. What it comes down to is an exotic and elaborate combat system. Then there's campaign rules so you have a series of combats and skill checks, and your half hour game runs 3 hours. Huge. I see what Chris is saying. It feels like choosing skills in a role playing game. Rolling dice like a miniatures game. It doesn't feel card game like. But it is impressively original.

CW: I knew... you would come around.

VD: Never again.
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Mark Bigney
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Christopher Walken's diction suddenly made sense to me when I heard him in an interview; he claimed that whenever he gets a script, he has an assistant edit his lines so as to remove all the punctuation. That's the version he reads.
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Paul DeStefano
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The best line I ever saw him say in an interview about getting his roles was:

I have trouble... playing... you know... normal humans.
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Kevin Purring
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Geosphere wrote:
But also no elves or other bullcrap.


Au contraire!
 
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Paul DeStefano
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ArsLoqui wrote:
Geosphere wrote:
But also no elves or other bullcrap.


Au contraire!


Yeah, that was the interview that made me decide to use elf as the example.
 
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M. Shanmugasundaram
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Sigh. That was awesome. I'm too laughed out to say much more.

I had to keep my hand over my mouth the entire time to keep from attracting attention here at work. cry
 
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Olivier Lesaint

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made me laugh too !

 
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Paul DeStefano
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milune wrote:
made me laugh too !



For those who don't know, Olivier is the skilled hand behind the unique art of Corunea.
 
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Darrell Hanning
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Very cute. What would have made it a touch more realistic is if Vin had punched Walken, and Walken had got up while laughing his ass off at Vin succumbing to temptation.
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John Di Ponio
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Sheer Brilliance!!!! Bravo Paul!!!!
 
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Robert Wilson
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I cant believe. That this ... isnt the highest rated article . Presently





have a small amount of GG
 
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