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Subject: WORST WARGAME EVER!! rss

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John "Omega" Williams
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The one Im thinking of would have been either late 70s or early 80s. Probably by one of the big companies of the time. SPI or TFG at a guess. But could be anything.

Seen Commands & Colors too. Uses vaugly simmilar pieces to Agricola it seems.
 
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The Fiend
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Dude, this was the funniest thing I've read here in ages. EXACTLY! You nailed it. This is why I haven't bought a game in 2 years, I'd rather play the favorites in my collection. And this is the game that took over the top spot?! Hill-frikking-larious.
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Rob Kerr
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It's a game, not a history lesson. I don't see what the big deal is.
 
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Dave Lillethun
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Raul Catalano wrote:
Well, from all the irate comments to your review, I hope you learn another lesson: NEVER, NEVER make jokes about Agricola on BGG. So many fellow BGG are so armed and busy to defend their new idol that irony is completely lost
shake

Maybe since the game didn't include enough war for him, he decided to look for a fight here.

This is also tongue-in-cheek of course. j/k etc.
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WILLIAM MATIJASIC
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Think way back to earlier " Settlers of Catan "
 
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James Webb Space Telescope in 2018!
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Best contextual title ever.

I have to assume this is all fiction, but either way, definitely a funny read.
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Walter Greer
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Agricola is latin for farmer. The game is about farming. Seems logical to me.
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John "Omega" Williams
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Agricola is a Roman General responsible for the conquest of Britain.
Seems logical to me.

aheh.

Glencannon wrote:
Agricola is latin for farmer. The game is about farming. Seems logical to me.
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David Cannella
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Omega2064 wrote:
Agricola is a Roman General responsible for the conquest of Britain.
Seems logical to me.

aheh.

the word agricola was in existence long before the General Agricola came about. thats my argument
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John "Omega" Williams
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Too true.
But the word Agricola consistently failed to conquer Britain.

(This sounds all too much like an episode of Asterix... aheh pt2.)

ItaliaSPQR wrote:

the word agricola was in existence long before the General Agricola came about. thats my argument
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Dan Dolan
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Agricola sucks. I saw it played once and wanted to end my life for even watching. The thought of actually playing it makes me want to rip my own entrails out and eat them before I die.

Anybody who thinks Agricola is a good game should be herded into rail cars and driven off a cliff into a chasm of molten lava and then hosed down with rancid goat urine.

I agree with the initial posting in this toopic but feel the author was trying to be too politically correct in describing the horror that is Agricola. We need to protect the children from games that promote bestiality and the glory of the sodbuster.

Keep your neighborhood Agricola free!!!
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Walter Greer
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Phlegm wrote:
Agricola sucks. I saw it played once and wanted to end my life for even watching. The thought of actually playing it makes me want to rip my own entrails out and eat them before I die.

Anybody who thinks Agricola is a good game should be herded into rail cars and driven off a cliff into a chasm of molten lava and then hosed down with rancid goat urine.

I agree with the initial posting in this toopic but feel the author was trying to be too politically correct in describing the horror that is Agricola. We need to protect the children from games that promote bestiality and the glory of the sodbuster.

Keep your neighborhood Agricola free!!!

I dont know if the goat urine will have much of an effect after being submerged in molten lava.
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M@tthijs
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Venlo
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Budo and boardgames...
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Phlegm wrote:
Agricola sucks. I saw it played once and wanted to end my life for even watching. The thought of actually playing it makes me want to rip my own entrails out and eat them before I die.

Anybody who thinks Agricola is a good game should be herded into rail cars and driven off a cliff into a chasm of molten lava and then hosed down with rancid goat urine.

I agree with the initial posting in this toopic but feel the author was trying to be too politically correct in describing the horror that is Agricola. We need to protect the children from games that promote bestiality and the glory of the sodbuster.

Keep your neighborhood Agricola free!!!
I know it sells better than the ASL mods.
Do you want to talk about it?


The herding,
the driving off a cliff,
the molten lava...

But goat urine?
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Jack Vance
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Just stumbled onto this review. The title alone is hilarious.
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Kimbo Mamawambo
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Same happen to me with Citadels. In the description I read the game contained some Gold coins, so I decided to get almost the whole production but, as soon as the 3tons of Citadels arrived to my home I found myself crying under a mountain of plastic coins, instead being the richest man in Babylon. cry
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John Roach
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What review??? Where is the evidence that he ever even played the game??
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Phlegm wrote:
Agricola sucks. I saw it played once and wanted to end my life for even watching. The thought of actually playing it makes me want to rip my own entrails out and eat them before I die.

Anybody who thinks Agricola is a good game should be herded into rail cars and driven off a cliff into a chasm of molten lava and then hosed down with rancid goat urine.

I agree with the initial posting in this toopic but feel the author was trying to be too politically correct in describing the horror that is Agricola. We need to protect the children from games that promote bestiality and the glory of the sodbuster.

Keep your neighborhood Agricola free!!!

Dan, you need to work on not holding back so much. C'mon, man--tell us how you really feel!
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Coen Velden
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Great review, but I sincerely hope you didn't watch the movie "Silence of the lambs" and it's follow-up "Hannibal" hoping to see a Cartheginian leader, sending his armies through the Punic wars, and travelling with elephants over the Pyrenees & the Alps.
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Sam Carroll
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ParrotDude wrote:
Clearly, there was a mix up and the wrong game got delivered to you.

You ordered Agricola (pronounced "Egg-Rick-You-la" rhyming with Dracula) and instead got Agri-cola (pronounced "Agri-cola" like the end of the term "Viagra Cola").

surprise

--parrotdude


Mmm . . . Viagra Cola . . .
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I read to the end of this review expecting the reviewer to at least hint that he actually knew that 'agricola' is the latin for farmer, and thus a very suitable name. ...But no, he seems to genuinely think that the designers borrowed the name of a Roman general and applied it to an irrelevant game.

That's like reading the Odyssey by Homer, expecting it to be about the Simpsons, and then posting a review to complain about the false marketing.
 
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David Chapman
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Oh, alright - except for Codenames
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No, this is NOT my bloody "fursona"
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Ivorymike wrote:
I read to the end of this review expecting the reviewer to at least hint that he actually knew that 'agricola' is the latin for farmer, and thus a very suitable name. ...But no, he seems to genuinely think that the designers borrowed the name of a Roman general and applied it to an irrelevant game.

That's like reading the Odyssey by Homer, expecting it to be about the Simpsons, and then posting a review to complain about the false marketing.

I read to the end of this post expecting the poster to at least hint that he actually knew that the review was a joke ... but no, he seems to genuinely think that the reviewer believes what he's saying.

That's like talking to a horse's bottom, expecting it to discuss the theories of Stephen Hawking, then posting to complain about the lack of intelligent comment.

devil
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Andy Leighton
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Karlsen wrote:
Hammy wrote:
I was hoping for a game about Attila the Hun, instead I got Attila the stockbroker

Is Attila the Stockbroker still performing? I saw a show of his at the Edinburgh Festival some years ago.

He certainly is. Performed in my home town last year. Apparently he has just finished touring Australia and NZ (March and April). He had two tour dates in Melbourne.
 
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ɹǝsɐɹɟ
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Back in the days when there were less maps we played every map back to back
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Ooh a little higher, now a bit to the left, a little more, a little more, just a bit more. Oooh yes, that's the spot!
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andyl wrote:
Karlsen wrote:
Hammy wrote:
I was hoping for a game about Attila the Hun, instead I got Attila the stockbroker

Is Attila the Stockbroker still performing? I saw a show of his at the Edinburgh Festival some years ago.

He certainly is. Performed in my home town last year. Apparently he has just finished touring Australia and NZ (March and April). He had two tour dates in Melbourne.
Bugger! (apologies for the somewhat delayed response).
 
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Jeff Davis
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spartax wrote:
ParrotDude wrote:
Clearly, there was a mix up and the wrong game got delivered to you.

You ordered Agricola (pronounced "Egg-Rick-You-la" rhyming with Dracula) and instead got Agri-cola (pronounced "Agri-cola" like the end of the term "Viagra Cola").

surprise

--parrotdude


Mmm . . . Viagra Cola . . .

... and its other version "Mount and Dew"
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Arthur Cormode
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Best thread ever!
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