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Subject: Kids are stupid rss

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Zack Boatman
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Last night I went over to my friend’s house. They said, "Bring a game and we'll play before we eat!" I was excited as they have never asked me to bring a game. I spent most of the day wondering about which game to choose...
Finally I decided and headed over. They are living in a smaller rental while their new home is being built. It is nice, but slightly cramped with two adults, 3 children and 2 full grown Great Danes. When I walked through the door I could smell a chicken in the oven. It was wonderful.
I immediately sat down and started setting up the game. The kids quickly sat down beside me and Calvin joined us for a five player game. Reba wanted to, but decided instead to make sure the meal would be ready as we finished.
I need to mention now that their children are 11, 9 and 3.
I started explaining the game and it was if the 3 year old, Niles, wasn't even paying attention. I had to repeat myself a couple of times and even say his name to get him to look at me while I was trying to get the game started. Gale, the 9 year old, rolled her eyes a couple of times and I had to ask her to pay attention as I wouldn't explain the rules again!
Albert, 11, would ask questions, but usually I had already covered the explanation earlier. "What does this do again?" He would ask. "Al", I would say, barely able to contain my disappointment, "I've already told you that role allows you to ship your goods." or "If you chose that card you get a $1 from the bank." It almost seemed like he didn’t understand on purpose just to get under my skin and affect my play of the game before it even started! (a clever trick I have used a couple of times to rattle my opponents.)
Once we started the game I figured it would start to flow and they would enjoy themselves. I couldn't have been more wrong! When it was Nile's turn he would be stacking the pieces instead of planning his next move and he acted like he didn't know what he was doing even though I explained the game. When I would tell him to choose a role, he would look at me as if he didn't really understand (I would have to basically choose his role for him.) When I was Gale or Al's turn, they would just look at me. It was totally frustrating and completely obvious they didn't pay attention while I was explaining the game.
Finally we just had to put the game away and watch TV until dinner was ready. The kids asked me to go outside and play, but I acted like I didn't understand, that I couldn't figure out the directions they were trying to give me.
So I've learned an important lesson: never take the game Puerto Rico over to their house because their kids are STUPID!
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J.L. Robert
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THAT'S the lesson you learned? snore

I've always wondered why they put minimum age info on game boxes...
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And weak too. I can officially take on 63 kindergartners! ninja
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Philip Thomas
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zboat wrote:
Last night I went over to my friend’s house. They said, "Bring a game and we'll play before we eat!" I was excited as they have never asked me to bring a game. I spent most of the day wondering about which game to choose...
Finally I decided and headed over. They are living in a smaller rental while their new home is being built. It is nice, but slightly cramped with two adults, 3 children and 2 full grown Great Danes. When I walked through the door I could smell a chicken in the oven. It was wonderful.
I immediately sat down and started setting up the game. The kids quickly sat down beside me and Calvin joined us for a five player game. Reba wanted to, but decided instead to make sure the meal would be ready as we finished.
I need to mention now that their children are 11, 9 and 3.
I started explaining the game and it was if the 3 year old, Niles, wasn't even paying attention. I had to repeat myself a couple of times and even say his name to get him to look at me while I was trying to get the game started. Gale, the 9 year old, rolled her eyes a couple of times and I had to ask her to pay attention as I wouldn't explain the rules again!
Albert, 11, would ask questions, but usually I had already covered the explanation earlier. "What does this do again?" He would ask. "Al", I would say, barely able to contain my disappointment, "I've already told you that role allows you to ship your goods." or "If you chose that card you get a $1 from the bank." It almost seemed like he didn’t understand on purpose just to get under my skin and affect my play of the game before it even started! (a clever trick I have used a couple of times to rattle my opponents.)
Once we started the game I figured it would start to flow and they would enjoy themselves. I couldn't have been more wrong! When it was Nile's turn he would be stacking the pieces instead of planning his next move and he acted like he didn't know what he was doing even though I explained the game. When I would tell him to choose a role, he would look at me as if he didn't really understand (I would have to basically choose his role for him.) When I was Gale or Al's turn, they would just look at me. It was totally frustrating and completely obvious they didn't pay attention while I was explaining the game.
Finally we just had to put the game away and watch TV until dinner was ready. The kids asked me to go outside and play, but I acted like I didn't understand, that I couldn't figure out the directions they were trying to give me.
So I've learned an important lesson: never take the game Puerto Rico over to their house because their kids are STUPID!


I'm hoping that this is a less than startlingly funny piece of satire, because the alternative is uncomfortable to contemplate....
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Brian Thomas
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It's obviously because you brought a Eurogame. They're designed for European families. You should have stuck with good ol' Ameritrash. I'm sure, if you'd have explained how you roll these 57 dice, then reroll 38 of them depending on modifiers, they would have easily been able to understand it.
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T. Fred
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statman8 wrote:
I really am having a tough time wrapping my head around what you expected. If the game was not age appropriate, I would have anticipated this. Role selection and pick-up-and-deliver mechanics in a game for a three year old is too much. When it came time for the older kids to play were they just staring at you because you seemed to want to direct them each turn? Maybe they were waiting for your next move.

Sounds to me like they were acting like typical kids.


Oops. Someone didn't get the joke. He was channeling his inner "Bob Herzog" from KODT.
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Patrick Hanley
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statman8 wrote:
I really am having a tough time wrapping my head around what you expected. If the game was not age appropriate, I would have anticipated this. Role selection and pick-up-and-deliver mechanics in a game for a three year old is too much. When it came time for the older kids to play were they just staring at you because you seemed to want to direct them each turn? Maybe they were waiting for your next move.

Sounds to me like they were acting like typical kids.



The OP was kidding around.

Pardon the pun.
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Tim Benjamin
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Two points:

1) Obviously satire because Zack doesn't have any friends.

2) Zack thinks everyone is STUPID.
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Jason Cheng
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MWChapel wrote:
And weak too. I can officially take on 63 kindergartners! ninja


I'd pay to see that.
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Don Weed
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quardlepleen wrote:
statman8 wrote:
I really am having a tough time wrapping my head around what you expected. If the game was not age appropriate, I would have anticipated this. Role selection and pick-up-and-deliver mechanics in a game for a three year old is too much. When it came time for the older kids to play were they just staring at you because you seemed to want to direct them each turn? Maybe they were waiting for your next move.

Sounds to me like they were acting like typical kids.



The OP was kidding around.

Pardon the pun.


OK, you got me as charged. I didn't get it. I'll slink back to the corner now.
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J.L. Robert
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quardlepleen wrote:
statman8 wrote:
I really am having a tough time wrapping my head around what you expected. If the game was not age appropriate, I would have anticipated this. Role selection and pick-up-and-deliver mechanics in a game for a three year old is too much. When it came time for the older kids to play were they just staring at you because you seemed to want to direct them each turn? Maybe they were waiting for your next move.

Sounds to me like they were acting like typical kids.



The OP was kidding around.

Pardon the pun.


Sorry that I, and most of the world, didn't get the inside joke.
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Scott Lewis
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I think the fact that one of the potential players was a THREE-year-old should have tipped people off

The problem here is they were bored - not enough to keep their minds busy. You need to start out with more complex games like ASL or Campaign for North Africa, and work your way down to the less complex games.
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MusicToEat wrote:
It's obviously because you brought a Eurogame. They're designed for European families. You should have stuck with good ol' Ameritrash. I'm sure, if you'd have explained how you roll these 57 dice, then reroll 38 of them depending on modifiers, they would have easily been able to understand it.


sigmazero13 wrote:
The problem here is they were bored - not enough to keep their minds busy. You need to start out with more complex games like ASL or Campaign for North Africa, and work your way down to the less complex games.



Or, they could just be stupid.

Stupid kids.
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Chris Malme
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Shouldn't this have been a session report?
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Jeff Hinrickson
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I hate kids! Thats why I have 6.

Funny story:

I went into Subway one day and was ordering for the family with my wife at my side. I asked the kid behind the counter if they had any special smaller sandwiches for kids. He says, "no - but you could get a regular sandwich and cut it up". He then proceeds to ask, "How many kids are you talking about?" I say, "6". He says, "Wow you must like kids". I say, "NO! I like the part about making them."

I left the kid speechless, and received a bruised rib from my wife's elbow. Now we have 7 -- no just kidding.devil
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I know an adult gamer like this - he has the attention span of a midge fly.



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It's not the best piece of Satire I have ever seen but it's still pretty obvious that the OP isn't serious.



Ben
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Eric
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jjloc wrote:
I hate kids! Thats why I have 6.

Funny story:

I went into Subway one day and was ordering for the family with my wife at my side. I asked the kid behind the counter if they had any special smaller sandwiches for kids. He says, "no - but you could get a regular sandwich and cut it up". He then proceeds to ask, "How many kids are you talking about?" I say, "6". He says, "Wow you must like kids". I say, "NO! I like the part about making them."

I left the kid speechless, and received a bruised rib from my wife's elbow. Now we have 7 -- no just kidding.devil

What, you took the kid behind the counter as well? zombie
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Jeff Hinrickson
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Aljovin wrote:
jjloc wrote:
I hate kids! Thats why I have 6.

Funny story:

I went into Subway one day and was ordering for the family with my wife at my side. I asked the kid behind the counter if they had any special smaller sandwiches for kids. He says, "no - but you could get a regular sandwich and cut it up". He then proceeds to ask, "How many kids are you talking about?" I say, "6". He says, "Wow you must like kids". I say, "NO! I like the part about making them."

I left the kid speechless, and received a bruised rib from my wife's elbow. Now we have 7 -- no just kidding.devil

What, you took the kid behind the counter as well? zombie


Absolutely, I thought he could add to the gaming group - as my wife doesn't like games and my kids range from 2 to 12 (2,3,2x5,7,12).
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J.L. Robert
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Embark wrote:
It's not the best piece of Satire I have ever seen but it's still pretty obvious that the OP isn't serious.



Knowing some people I do know, I don't put it past the realm of reality.

I have season seats for The Theater of the Absurd.
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Greg r
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sigmazero13 wrote:
I think the fact that one of the potential players was a THREE-year-old should have tipped people off

The problem here is they were bored - not enough to keep their minds busy. You need to start out with more complex games like ASL or Campaign for North Africa, and work your way down to the less complex games.


I must disagree with you!!! THe kids are full of energy also. I think a trip to the shooting range would have been the ticket to start with.. a little fresh air... a little running around... firing semi automatic weapons... after an hour or so then they will be ready to sit and play.

Then the ASL or CfNA. cool
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jjloc wrote:
I hate kids! Thats why I have 6.

Funny story:

I went into Subway one day and was ordering for the family with my wife at my side. I asked the kid behind the counter if they had any special smaller sandwiches for kids. He says, "no - but you could get a regular sandwich and cut it up". He then proceeds to ask, "How many kids are you talking about?" I say, "6". He says, "Wow you must like kids". I say, "NO! I like the part about making them."

I left the kid speechless, and received a bruised rib from my wife's elbow. Now we have 7 -- no just kidding.devil


Been there, done that.
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Alan Kaiser
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sigmazero13 wrote:
I think the fact that one of the potential players was a THREE-year-old should have tipped people off


It's only funny if at some point it's obvious to everyone that it is intended as humor. Sorry, maybe it's just me, but I really wouldn't put it past someone to try this. And while I did assume that it was fictional there was that doubt in the back of my mind. Given the number of true stories that show up here about how grown Geeks behave (or misbehave) I'd have to say I've read worse stories that were true in these forums!
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Dance Spears
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Are you serious? I can't believe you would do this to your friends! I don't see anywhere in your post that you let them know about the dangers of being first cousins and producing off-spring. This is the only explanation. Geez. It allows you to ship your goods! What's so hard about that?

I blame the schools.
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Alan Goodrich
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alkaiser wrote:
sigmazero13 wrote:
I think the fact that one of the potential players was a THREE-year-old should have tipped people off


It's only funny if at some point it's obvious to everyone that it is intended as humor. Sorry, maybe it's just me, but I really wouldn't put it past someone to try this. And while I did assume that it was fictional there was that doubt in the back of my mind. Given the number of true stories that show up here about how grown Geeks behave (or misbehave) I'd have to say I've read worse stories that were true in these forums!


I agree - unless this was a parody of a specific (recent) post, I fail to see the humor, even as parody. I mean, what exactly is being skewered here - the notion that kids will be uninterested in age-inappropriate euros? Not the most ripe topic for satire... Methinks it was just an excuse to have "Kids are stupid" as a subject line.
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