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Subject: Confession: I have trouble cooking bacon rss

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True Blue Jon
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Every time I cook bacon, I end up burning it. Please, teach me to cook bacon correctly!
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João 'Finding a new way to make you WTF today' Marum
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quozl wrote:
Every time I cook bacon, I end up burning it. Please, teach me to cook bacon correctly!


Duh! With jello, of course!
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Cook it on low heat for a long time. If it starts smoking while it cooks, you have the heat too high.
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Mark Hamzy
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The toaster oven is my favorite method. There are two racks in this small oven. Place the bacon directly on the top rack. On the bottom rack, place a pan to catch the drippings. Set the temperature to around 200 (this is not an exact appliance) and let it cook slowly.

The benefits of this method is slow cooking that will not burn the bacon. The fat bastes the bacon and keeps it moist.

When I cook breakfast, I start the bacon and move on to other things. It will be done when I have finished everything else.

Here I am full from lunch and now I am Jonesing for a good breakfast: Hot biscuits from scratch, sausage gravy, cheesy grits, omelet.
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The Steak Fairy
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The simplest possible method these days is to microwave six slices of fatty bacon between 4-6 sheets of paper towel, on high, for about 5 minutes, adding 15 second increments until it crisps. Get yourself a good microwave, and you never have to deal with bacon grease clogging your sinks again. Unless you throw the paper towels down your drain, which I suppose you might do if you'd previously had a run-in with a malicious hypnotist.
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Matthew M
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Just pay me what you owe me, Josh, and it'll stop.

-MMM
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Kurt
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All the suggestions given so far are great. If you want to fry it in a pan, remember: Low and slow. You can't hurry love. Also note, that when frying it, it always looks less done than it is while in the pan for some reason. If you start to see a little toasty side, chances are you're done or almost done.

Periodically take a piece out and see how it looks after the fat has drained off. You can always put it back if it isn't done. Do it often enough and you'll get the hang of it without having to take them out.
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True Blue Jon
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Verkisto wrote:
Cook it on low heat for a long time. If it starts smoking while it cooks, you have the heat too high.


What if I want non-smoking bacon?
 
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Kurt
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Also, buy thick cut (from the butcher preferably). The thicker the better. It's not only tastier, but more forgiving in the pan.
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Matthew Kloth
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I like my bacon like I like my women...

black and shriveled up.

wait, no. I messed that up. There's supposed to be a duck in there somewhere.
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If Actions Speak Louder Than Words, Then Actions x2 Speak Louder Than Actions
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quozl wrote:
Every time I cook bacon, I end up burning it. Please, teach me to cook bacon correctly!

Whoa, mate! That's a little more info than we need to know here. Chit Chat is no place to bear your bacon-inadequacies. When a Chit Chatter smells bacon-weakness they attack as a pack.
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True Blue Jon
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joebelanger wrote:
Chit Chat is no place to bear your bacon-inadequacies. When a Chit Chatter smells bacon-weakness they attack as a pack.


I must warn all those who are looking to attack me: I have jello!
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quozl wrote:
I must warn all those who are looking to attack me: I have jello!


Big deal. I have pineapple and kiwi fruit.
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True Blue Jon
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Verkisto wrote:
quozl wrote:
I must warn all those who are looking to attack me: I have jello!


Big deal. I have pineapple and kiwi fruit.


Those would be quite tasty in my jello!
 
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Justin Morse
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Verkisto wrote:
quozl wrote:
I must warn all those who are looking to attack me: I have jello!


Big deal. I have pineapple and kiwi fruit.



Eggsalad.



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quozl wrote:
Verkisto wrote:
quozl wrote:
I must warn all those who are looking to attack me: I have jello!


Big deal. I have pineapple and kiwi fruit.


Those would be quite tasty in my jello!


It's FRESH pineapple. Did I mention that?
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True Blue Jon
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Verkisto wrote:
quozl wrote:
Verkisto wrote:
quozl wrote:
I must warn all those who are looking to attack me: I have jello!


Big deal. I have pineapple and kiwi fruit.


Those would be quite tasty in my jello!


It's FRESH pineapple. Did I mention that?


Now you are making my mouth water!

I hereby challenge you to a duel so I can take your tasty fresh pineapple!
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João 'Finding a new way to make you WTF today' Marum
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Verkisto wrote:
It's FRESH pineapple. Did I mention that?


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quozl wrote:
Verkisto wrote:
quozl wrote:
Verkisto wrote:
quozl wrote:
I must warn all those who are looking to attack me: I have jello!


Big deal. I have pineapple and kiwi fruit.


Those would be quite tasty in my jello!


It's FRESH pineapple. Did I mention that?


Now you are making my mouth water!

I hereby challenge you to a duel so I can take your tasty fresh pineapple!


Fine. I put my fresh pineapple and kiwi fruit in your Jell-O mold.

I win.
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True Blue Jon
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Verkisto wrote:
quozl wrote:
Verkisto wrote:
quozl wrote:
Verkisto wrote:
quozl wrote:
I must warn all those who are looking to attack me: I have jello!


Big deal. I have pineapple and kiwi fruit.


Those would be quite tasty in my jello!


It's FRESH pineapple. Did I mention that?


Now you are making my mouth water!

I hereby challenge you to a duel so I can take your tasty fresh pineapple!


Fine. I put my fresh pineapple and kiwi fruit in your Jell-O mold.

I win.


I've been tricked! Fowl, I cry! Or is it foul? Which reminds me...

I throw a turkey at you!
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The Steak Fairy
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Octavian wrote:
Just pay me what you owe me, Josh, and it'll stop.

-MMM


Okay, Matthew, I owe you a smack on the nose for not knowing about the greatness of microwaved bacon.
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Matthew M
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MisterCranky wrote:
Octavian wrote:
Just pay me what you owe me, Josh, and it'll stop.

-MMM


Okay, Matthew, I owe you a smack on the nose for not knowing about the greatness of microwaved bacon.


Pardon me, sir, but I've known about microwaved bacon since before I was born. Or since 1988. Whenever it was that my parents got a microwave.

-MMM
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The Steak Fairy
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You certainly seemed to be implying earlier that you knew nothing of its greatness. Anybody can know about the technique--even those whose mothers apparently kept their abdomens dangerously close to magnetrons during late-stage pregnancy. It takes an afficianado to understand the true benefits of the process.
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Matthew M
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I daresay I understand the benefits more than you do. Whereas you advise throwing away the paper towels or disposing them down the drain, a true microwaved bacon connoisseur knows that neither is correct. There is precious bacon flavor to be sucked out of those towels after the main course has been consumed.

-MMM
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The Steak Fairy
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Octavian wrote:
I daresay I understand the benefits more than you do. Whereas you advise throwing away the paper towels or disposing them down the drain, a true microwaved bacon connoisseur knows that neither is correct. There is precious bacon flavor to be sucked out of those towels after the main course has been consumed.

-MMM


Did I advise that? It's news to me. What will happen if I refer to you as a clown for ascribing non-existent advice to me? No, wait--I don't wish to know.
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