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Subject: Some people take this game a little too seriously. rss

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Benjamin Keightley
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Out of nowhere, Alec Baldwin showed up at my apartment just before our last game of Wabash Cannonball spewing foul language and strategy tips. He seemed a little unhinged--take his advice with a grain of salt.



"Let me have your attention for a moment. 'Cause you're talking about what, you're talking about...bitching about that auction you shot, some son of a bitch don't want to buy the C&O, somebody don't want what you're selling, some partnership you're trying to screw, so forth, let's talk about something important. Are they all here?"

"All but one."

"Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important.

"Put that red cube down. Cubes are for colluders only. You think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I'm here from Pittsburgh. I'm here from Wu and Bohrer. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Keightley?"

"Yeah."

"You call yourself a businessman, you son of a bitch?"

"I don't gotta listen to this shit."

"You certainly don't pal 'cause the good news is you're fired. The bad news is you got all you got, just one week to regain your job, starting with tonight, starting with tonight's games. Oh, have you got sufficient incentive to pay attention now? Good.

"'Cause we're adding a little something to this month's Wabash contest. As you all know, first prize is an Avalon Hill 1830. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is a copy of Ticket to Ride. Third prize is you're fired. You get the picture? You laughing now? You got stocks. Wu and Bohrer paid good money. Torque their incentives to sell them. You can't capitalize the shares you're given, you can't capitalize shit, you are shit. Hit the bricks pal and beat it 'cause you are going out."

"The B&O is weak."

"The B&O is weak. The fucking B&O is weak? You're weak. I've been in this business 15 months--"

"What's your favorite company?"

"Fuck you, that's my favorite company. You know why mister? Cause you took a 2-train to get here tonight, I took an $1100 Diesel. That's my name. And your name is you're wanting. You can't play in the man's game, you can't incentivize them? Then go home and tell the 'Geek your troubles. Because only one thing counts in this game. Get them to expand to Chicago with the rail in which you own a plurality. You hear me you fucking faggots?

"A, B, C. A, Always, B, Be, C, Capitalizing. Always be capitalizing. Always be capitalizing! AIDA. Availability. Incentive. Decision. Alliance. Availability. Is the action available? Incentive. Are you incentivized? I know you are 'cause it's fuck or walk. You cap or you hit the bricks. Decision. Have you made your decision for Christ? And alliance. AIDA. Get out there. You got the alliances emerging, you think they came in to dilute your stock? A guy don't walk on the lot lest he wants to buy. They're sitting out there waiting to give you their money. Are you going to take it? Are you man enough to take it? What's the problem, pal?"

"You, boss, you're such a hero, you're so rich, how come you're coming down here, waste your time with such a bunch of bums?"

"You see this stock? You see this stock?"

"Yeah."

"That stock cost more than your portfolio. I made $970,000 last game, how much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father. Fuck you, go home and play with your kids. You want to play here, capitalize. You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get in a game? If you don't like it, leave. I can go out there tonight, the materials you got, make myself $15,000. Tonight. In three to six rounds. Can you? Can you?

"Go and do likewise. AIDA. Collude, you son of a bitches. Collude. You know what it takes to manipulate ambiguity? It takes brass balls to manipulate ambiguity. Go and do likewise, gents. The alliances are out there, you pick them up, they're yours, you don't, I got no sympathy for you. You want to go out on those games tonight and capitalize, capitalize, it's yours, if not, you're going to be running my rails. And you know what you'll be saying. Bunch of losers sitting around a Steel Driver board: 'Oh yeah, I used to play Wabash. There's no catch-up mechanism.'

"These are the new rules. These are the Erie Expansion rules. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Why? Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. They're for capitalizers. I'd wish you good luck, but there is no luck in this game. And to answer your question, pal: Why am I here? I came here because Wu and Bohrer asked me to, they asked me for a favor. I said the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fucking ass because a loser is a loser."
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Scott Muldoon (silentdibs)
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Marry me.
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Darrell Hanning
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Are you sure it was Alec Baldwin, and not Michael Douglas?
 
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Benjamin Keightley
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DarrellKH wrote:
Are you sure it was Alec Baldwin, and not Michael Douglas?

Yes.

Incidentally, Michael Douglas is a regular at our game nights. His favorite game is 1856. More often than not, his entire strategy revolves around taking control of the CGR as it forms. As players trade in the shares of their debt-riddled companies, he always exclaims: "I am not a destroyer of companies. I am a liberator of them!" It's a little obnoxious but we try to be good sports about it.
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Richard Dewsbery
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What does Catherine play while Michael's revisiting his Wall Street days?

My bet is that if she fondly remembers Darling Buds of May, that might point towards a liking for Agricola; or maybe after the fencing in Zorro she has a preference for En Garde.
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Darrell Hanning
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Coca Lite wrote:
DarrellKH wrote:
Are you sure it was Alec Baldwin, and not Michael Douglas?

Yes.

Incidentally, Michael Douglas is a regular at our game nights. His favorite game is 1856. More often than not, his entire strategy revolves around taking control of the CGR as it forms. As players trade in the shares of their debt-riddled companies, he always exclaims: "I am not a destroyer of companies. I am a liberator of them!" It's a little obnoxious but we try to be good sports about it.


Now I know you're lying. Michael Douglas' favorite game is Shark (http://www.bouldergames.com/gamenotes/gamenotes_19.asp).
 
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Teacher Fletcher
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Great first post, I haven't even played this game but I love how you altered that scene from my favorite movie.
 
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Steve Russell
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jvdv wrote:
I love Alec Baldwin as an actor, highly underrated I think. Even in small roles he really takes the screen, like in that Ben Stiller / Jenninfer Aniston romcom.


With that, I don't agree. He's rated right where he should be.

Give me Michael Douglas anytime.
 
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Paul Doherty
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If you guys like Alec Baldwin (so do I) you should check out "Thick as Thieves". A relatively unknown movie but great fun!
 
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Simon Lundström
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Now who are these five?
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Oh.My.God how I hated that guy. What an asshole! "Yeah I'm so much cooler than you, 'cause I make more money yeah!" He played the role well, though, but god, what an asshole that role was.

No seriously. That I like both Ed Harris and Kevin Spacey is irrelevant.
 
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Caleb Wynn
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Awesome! What movie was that?
 
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JR
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Glengarry Glen Ross

It's a good movie, but that scene is so epic and legendary it might give you a false idea of how awesome the movie in. See and judge for yourself. The cast is out of this world.
 
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Caleb Wynn
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I shall give it a look.
 
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