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Subject: Suddenly... rss

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Dan Scott
Canada
Port Perry
Ontario
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So, as many of you may know, I am now in the possession of a squirrel. It may be stuffed, and it may have breakfast drilled into it's cranium, and it may be hanging around outside, but it sure is associated with the word 'squirrel'.

So I went to check up on it today..



There it was, hanging out. It was sorta looking over the balcony at all of the cars and crap that drive by every day.

Looking at it, it makes me wish I had my old apartment. It was much lower to the ground the bloody squirrels would get into everything. This new breakfast squirrel would have loved to stand watch over those guys. Ahh, those days.

Anyways,

Not a moment too soon and the thing has bolted to the other side of the balcony toward our sculpture of Buddha (who has solar power lights stuck in him for extra power). In warmer weather, we would have plants there but they've recently come inside. Still, it appears that the squirrel takes solace in the Buddha.



Deciding to leave the squirrel to his devices, I make my way back inside.

The door hangs open for just a moment too soon before the squirrel darts inside behind me. When he settles and finds his resting place, it becomes clear as day as to what he wanted -



Plants. They're huddled there awaiting redeployment throughout the place. For now, they're just hanging out.

"Enough", I think. And I make my way to grab the squirrel and put the bugger back outside.

No, no - he's not interested, and runs for the closet.



It's a pretty big closet, but looking inside I see he's settled on my golf clubs and likes the look of our tent. I grab a nearby broom and poke him with it, and before long he's scurrying around the place, ripping up last year's Christmas paper and the remainder of our camping gear. I think he bit a hole into my large backpack, which I intend on taking back to Canadian Tire - "Whaddya mean this is squirrel proof?"

I lunge at him and after outflanking me he's made it to the most sacred location of all - the games collection. He's gnawing through my copies of Oregon (meh) and Taluva (ahhhh) and is making his way for Galaxy Trucker (oh no you don't) before I was able to snap this pic.



I grabbed him, chucked him outside, and now he's back where he started.

I think he reacts badly to the winter, so I think I'll be moving him along soon. I don't think he'll get to the CN Tower, and even if he did, I don't think I could trust him.

BEWARE THE SQUIRREL!

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The amazing & fabulous
Australia
Sarina
Queensland
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He is such a cute little fella.

Are you sure you can't convince your lovely lady that he should live inside the house, and perhaps take up residence on top of the tv stand or something?

Poor little bugger. If he is anything like a possum, he wont much like hanging out in the extreme cold. I guess he could always eat some of that tasty bacon for strength? laugh

xxx
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Loveland
Colorado
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Are you Zap Rowsdower?
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pronoblem baalberith
United States
Pleasantville
Massachusetts
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Is it just me or do my balls itch?
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Man, I am jealous.
 
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CHAPEL
United States
Round Rock
Texas
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"that's a smith and wesson, and you've had your six"
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That thing scares the living bajesus out of me. zombie
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Dan Scott
Canada
Port Perry
Ontario
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pronoblem wrote:
Man, I am jealous.


Hey, you want it?

There's a lottery going on for the next recipient. The squirrel will move before Christmas and I'll ship the bugger free of charge --- provided that the next person is willing to do the same.

Anyone interested, send me a PM.. I'll make the draw on Friday of this week.
 
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Richard Hedke
United States
Gibraltar
Michigan
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Most problems can be solved with either a stiff drink, a bowel movement, or a bullet.
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You know, if you drive a railroad spike through the squirrel and into the floor it will keep him from running around the joint and tearing stuff up.
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