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Subject: Careers, Games, Guns and Razors rss

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John O'Haver PhoDOGrapher
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Careers, Games, Guns and Razors

Careers: I think most of you know I’ve been unemployed since 11/1/2008 and on unemployment since 11/15. I think most of you know I haven’t been too concerned about it either. I knew it would only last as long as I let it last. After a few phone calls and a couple meetings with two different Xerox sellers, someone made me an offer, a job offer, that is, that I couldn’t refuse. I start on January 5th selling Xerox equipment, including the big iron… again. They offer a nice base salary and a good commission structure. Hell, when I was a contract sales rep for them 18 years ago, I got a $1500 a month draw versus 10% commission. That meant I had to sell $15,000 worth a month just get out of the hole. I did alright. I once made $44K in one month but that was back in the day.

No, this is the best base salary I’ve seen in my career. And I get a gas and phone allowance plus benefit coverage as quickly as I can sign up on day one. The job I took is with a wholly owned subsidiary of Xerox and not an independent dealer.

The funny thing is the first guy, the Xerox dealer, made me an offer over pizza and beer for an operations management position before I was even fired. The following week, also before I was let go, I decided to take him up on it. At that meeting he said, “Could you work for less?” I said, “This is the number YOU offered ME. I’m accepting.” I thought, “WTF!? NOW he wants to negotiate downward? AFTER I accepted?!” In any case, it told me a lot about what kind of employer he’d be.

Games: Since I’ve been unemployed I’ve acquired Conflict of Heroes by trade and I‘ve purchased the Swamp Map for it plus Field Commander Rommel, Pandemic, BattleLore plus the expansions Call to Arms, The Scottish Wars, Dwarven Battalion, Goblin Marauders, Goblin Skirmishers, One Hundred Years War and Epic BattleLore and I will pick up Formula Motor Racing tomorrow. With 35 logged plays since my layoff I’m well ahead of my 14 games per month average play rate. Tomorrow is board game day at Pet Shop Comics so I’ll get in more Conflict of Heroes for sure.

Edit: Bought For Troll and Country Expansion at Pet Shop Comics yesterday and received Fields of Fire in the mail today, 12/15/2008.


Guns: Since I know I have a well paying job next month, I joined the Glock Shooting Sports Foundation for $35 so I could shoot my compact model Glock 19 in an official Glock sanctioned match this morning. The entry fee was $15 and I bought a box of cheap ammo for $15. The course of fire was like this: 10 rounds in 15 seconds at 12 feet, 10 rounds in 15 seconds at 25 feet, 10 rounds in 15 seconds at 50 feet, 10 rounds in 30 seconds at 75 feet, 5 rounds in 10 seconds at 25 feet and 5 rounds in 10 seconds at 50 feet. At 75 feet a man sized silhouette looks like a postage stamp over my sights.Five hundred is a perfect score, I shot a 362.

I own and carry guns for personal protection. Most such armed encounters happen at 9 feet or less. If I were to shoot at anyone for any reason who was more than 21 feet away, the cops would confiscate my gun and charge me with reckless endangerment. If I were to hit anyone at that range or longer and he or his survivors sued, a civil jury would hang me by my financials regardless of what the cops thought was justified.

At 25 feet or less I did ok. At fifty feet and especially 75 feet I was just throwing lead in the general direction of the target. I know one of the shooters there today. He was shooting a Glock 34. The 34 has about an inch and a half longer barrel and a lighter trigger. He shot a 498. FOUR HUNDRED AND NINETY EIGHT OUT OF FIVE HUNDRED WITH 38 BULLSEYES!!! Holy nine millimeter, Glockman! And another fella I know shot a 479 with his souped up 34. Ok, I’m not competitive in this type of shooting but here is the deal. They are holding a match in January and February. All I have to do is shoot in one more and my name goes in a drawing for a new Glock Pistol regardless of my scores. I figure I have about a 1 in 30 chance of winning the gun and I usually spend $40 on range time and ammo if I’m just practicing alone.

Razors: By January 5th, I will be clean shaven. When I sold for Konica Minolta I had my mustache. When I went to New Horizon, I grew my goatee back. When I was laid off from there I didn’t shave at all for a month and grew a my spikey little soul patch. Over dinner Thursday night, Linda, my regular cultural companion reminded me how, as we get older, gravity affects our physical attributes. I said, “Oh I know. You should see me naked again. Due to the compounding effects of gravity I’m an inch shorter than I was when we met in ’94 and my equipment hangs almost to my knees.” She was amused but refused the offer. In any case, she suggested that we (notice how tactful she’s being) do ourselves no favors when we accentuate certain changing features. For example, things that add length to our lengthening facial features, like hair styles or goatees and droopy mustaches. Especially when one has longer face anyway like we both do. Ok, I can take hint. If I comply, I may be able to end this involuntary period of celibacy.

So I got the job with the facial hair but I’ve decided to remove all of it by my start date but by trimming or removing one piece at a time and post pictures here. I want some input on the sequence. The photo below is only 10 minutes old. I did not shave this morning so there is a bit of scruffiness.

 

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Diane Close
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scribidinus wrote:
So I got the job with the facial hair but I’ve decided to remove all of it by my start date but by trimming or removing one piece at a time and post pictures here.


So this is a "family-friendly" strip show then?!

Congrats on the new job!
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Amy Wiles
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Congrats on the new job! It's nice to have some time off, but money is good, too.

 
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John O'Haver PhoDOGrapher
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Thanks, I was never worried about a job. Now It's been almost ten years since I've been clean shaven. The distance from the bottom of my nose to the top of my upper lip looks like 4 inches when I'm clean shaven - kind of like Clutch Cargo. And I originally grew a mustache to visually widen my mouth. It'll be apparent later that I have Bernadette Peters lips. A pronounced Cupid's Bow upper lip and a pouty lower one. I've been told by a woman I kiss like she imagined Bernadette Peters would kiss. Considering my date preferred women, it was a compliment. At least, I took it as such.
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Jeff Wiles
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scribidinus wrote:
So I got the job with the facial hair but I’ve decided to remove all of it by my start date but by trimming or removing one piece at a time and post pictures here.



Congrats on the job!

I was trimming my beard once and screwed up somehow and cut out a big chunk, so I had to shave the beard off. The mustache looked like a caterpillar crawled up on my lip and died, so it came off, too. I walked in to the game club later and my friend Rachael pronounced "You look twelve! Grow it back!"

Sometime after that I shaved it all off again. Early on during our dating period, Amy said "I bet you'd look really good with a beard." I've been furry every day since.
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Amy Wiles
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jeffwiles wrote:
The mustache looked like a caterpillar crawled up on my lip and died, so it came off, too.

Please start at 3:33:



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Kris Miller
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scribidinus wrote:
No, this is the best base salary I’ve seen in my career. And I get a gas and phone allowance plus benefit coverage as quickly as I can sign up on day one. The job I took is with a wholly owned subsidiary of Xerox and not an independent dealer.


Congratulations!

Even though I've always found it to be true, I'm hesitant to use the platitudes similar to "It will always turn out better, best... whatever" when someone gets laid off. Sound like, and hopefully, it is going to be better than your previous job.

Nice job on the shooting match.

Kris
 
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Jorge Montero
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travellerne wrote:
scribidinus wrote:
No, this is the best base salary I’ve seen in my career. And I get a gas and phone allowance plus benefit coverage as quickly as I can sign up on day one. The job I took is with a wholly owned subsidiary of Xerox and not an independent dealer.


Congratulations!

Even though I've always found it to be true, I'm hesitant to use the platitudes similar to "It will always turn out better, best... whatever" when someone gets laid off. Sound like, and hopefully, it is going to be better than your previous job.

Nice job on the shooting match.

Kris


It makes perfect sense for it to be true. You leave a job that is downsizing, with all of its implications, and move to one that is growing. One is trending down, and the other up.

 
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Blatantly Obvious Barney
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Ya know, before I was nailed to this board with eggs & bacon stuck to my head...I seem to remember some guy with a glock and a goatee...
 
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