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Subject: The "Big Names" Only Medical Convention rss

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the difference between a "crowd" and a "mob" is one push
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Exasperated Press

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA

We arrived at the Big Names Show in time for Crohn's speech. There are things you do not want to think about, and some you are not meant to know. Everyone avoided Crohn afterward. Was it the smell or the fear?

An ex-wrestler, Heimlich was extremely gracious. Do not try to shake his hand though, as everyone who did wound up in some kind of strangle hold. Everyone wanted to talk to him or about him. The man is a legend. His posters hang everywhere. Every restaraunt honors the man, and he asks for and gets free food -- a real rock star, that one. All of this fame comes at a price, though. All the other physicians at the place talked badly of the man and spoke hopefully of the time Heimlich would get his comeuppance.

I think I tried to speak to Alzheimer, but kept forgetting what he said. And what he looked like. Every once in a while someone would point him out and I would follow, only to lose my way. The elusive doctor seemed to always be one step ahead of me. Ah well, there is always next time.

Lister's hands were dried and cracked. He kept hanging out near the restrooms, entering, running hot water, and running out. The man would grab anything metal or looked like it, then head into his favorite haunt. Not even my dry cleaner is this thorough.

The highlight of the evening was the US Army singing group, the G I Tracts, whose musical stylings made everyone dance, but afterward we all felt queasy in our stomachs.

The night ended when the police showed. Hundreds of them. They promptly arrested Oedipus, read him his rights, and taunted the man with what they had found on his hard drive. It was a fitting end to a celebration of the best Modern Medicine has to offer.

Until next time, Anon of Ibid.
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Steven Heinrich
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I resent your posting and it seriously pisses me off Osiris Ra! What give you the right to make fun of people with medical conditions?



Especially since that bastard Heimlich stole that maneuver from my ancestors...oh yeah...SURE there are some differences, like with the Heinrich maneuver you approach the person choking from the front and you lock hands around their butt and headbutt them in the face to calm them down...but STILL!!

I could have been a millionaire copyrighting that move! Just think of all the people that would have had to pay up or keep choking!

A goldmine I tell ya! A GOLDMINE!!!
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