Fred, Jim, and John were talking.
"I hate being 60," says Fred, "I never seem to be able to pee when I need to."
"That's nothing," says Jim, "I hate being 70. I never seem to be able to poop when I need to."
"Huh. I hate being 80. Every morning, at 7am, I pee, without fail," says John, "and every morning, at 7:30am, I poop, without fail."
"What?" Fred asks, "What's so bad about that?"
With a big sigh, John replies, "I don't wake up till eight."
Ok, I'm probably going to hell. This probably belongs in RSP, but you've forced my hand, sir. Those of you that don't have the heart should read no further.
There was a very old, lonely man who went to the park every day and would sit on the bench. Well one day he noticed that every day, around the same time, an old lady would come to the park and sit at another bench across the way. Days would go by and the old man would watch the lady come and sit by herself at the park. One day, he finally mustered up the courage to go and sit next to the old lady. They eventually struck up a nice conversation. Every day the old lady would come to the park and sit next to the old man and the two of them would talk.
One day the old man said, "You know we've both been alone for a long time. Can I ask you a personal favor?"
"What?" she asks.
"Can you just hold it for a bit?"
"Well, it's been so long since I've felt the touch of a woman, I was wondering if you would just hold it for a little while."
"Well, ok, I guess..." said the little old lady.
And so every day they would come to the park and sit next to each other and talk for a while. And the old lady would hold the old man's manhood for while. One day, the old lady came to the park and the old man was not there. "Where could he be?" she wondered. So she searched the whole park and eventually she came across a secluded park bench where the old man wass sitting next to a different old lady and she was holding his manhood. At this sight, the first old lady was furious. She stomped over to the couple and began to berate the old man.
"I can't believe this! I've been coming here every day and talking to you, and I really felt that we had a connection. Was all of that meaningless to you? How could you do this to me?"
The old man remained speechless.
"What does she have that I don't?"
"Parkinson's," replied the old man.