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Subject: When in-laws attack! rss

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James Caddick
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I am a Euro gamer. The games I enjoy playing are things like: Puerto Rico, Princes of Florence, El Grande, Agricola and Tigris & Euphrates. So for my birthday I asked my future in-laws to buy me a new Euro game. Being the reasonable, uncontrolling kinda guy I am I gave them a list of four to choose from:

Goa
Power Grid
Caylus
Dominion

So my future father-in-law walks into his local games shop and finds that he cannot get any on my list as none of them are stocked. So he asks the shop owner for a recommendation. He walks out of the shop proudly cradling a brand new spanking copy of... Last Night on Earth. What kinda shop assistant sees a list of Euro games and then recommends Ameristrash? Argh!

So imagine the crushing disappointment when I open the present to find that he's bought me Ameritrash, roll and move, Zombie nonsense. Obviously my acting skills aren't quite in the Meryl Streep league, as they reiterated a number of times that I could swap the game if I wanted to. The question is, what do I do now, given that I do not want to offend my future in-laws? Options include:

a) Keep the game, never play it and pretend to have loved it.
b) Secretly try to swap the game and pretend to have loved it.
c) Own up, say thanks but no thanks and ask them to swap the game.
d) Keep the game, play it, hate it and pretend to have loved it.
e) Give up on the idea of marrying the woman I love and rant incoherently at my in-laws about the evils of dice games.

If I hadn't been so stupified by disappointment I would have pretended that one of my friends already owned the game.
 
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Billy McBoatface
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Swap it, and tell them how much you like the game you got in the swap.

The knew they were taking a chance by getting a game not on your list, so they probably won't be offended if you don't want it. They'll be happy to hear you got some fun in the end, though. Unless they're just waiting for a chance to be mad at you...which is always possible with in-laws.
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Jordan Stewart
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Honesty's the best policy I reckon. Tell them you genuinely appreciate getting any game at all, but that you wouldn't mind swapping it and waiting until a game from your list comes in at the shop. (They did suggest it after all.) Then follow through by saying how great the new new game is.

Easier said than done though, and I get where you're coming from. I'd have some hesitations too if I was in your position.
 
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Brad N
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c) Own up, say thanks but no thanks and swap the game yourself.

They tried their best but it isn't a gift that you want. Thank them and let them know that you appreciate them going to the store and trying to get you something you want (that is pretty nice ya know)... the recommendation from the person at the store wasn't quite what you wanted. So, you swapped it for a different game that you know you will really like.

If you choose one of the "secretly" or "pretend" approaches then you may be setting yourself up for future disappointment with regard to gifts or whatever. I've seen it happen before and it can lead to unnecessary conflict.

So, I highly recommend the honest and friendly approach. Most people appreciate that and you definitely will in the long run.
 
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R.T. Sloan
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Give your In-Laws credit, they actually tried. I can't even imagine my Mother-in-Law even thinking about buying a game for my wife or I.

Now your solution here is obvious.
You need to go on a road trip to your Future In-Laws local game store, find the clerk who pawned an expensive Ameri-Trash game off on them, and beat him/her severely about the head and neck with said copy of Ameri-Trash. devil
Given how heavy these games are, there is a certain amount of Karma to this.

This is why local game stores get a bad reputation, and people end up shopping on-line.
Taking advantage of some-one who doesn't under stand the hobby, to sell an expensive game is reprehensible.


Just my opinion, I could be wrong.
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Jason Sadler
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You have some of the coolest in-laws on the planet and still managed to be crushed by disappointment. How long have you been married?

Edit: They're not even your in-laws yet? You had better find it in your heart to play that damned zombie game and love it! Until you get married, remember that you are trying to convince them that you aren't a prick.

I am just kidding. Do whatever you want, but be polite and all should be well.
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Adam Brant
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keep it, play it and then love it. It's a great game! And, it adds variety to your collection. It's a little more complicated then "roll and move" as you put it. It may even be that they are the type of people who would enjoy Ameritrash games over euro games which is why they were ok with the recommendation from the LGS. Perhaps they thought it looked fun. In such case, you may be able to play it with them when they come for future visits. It's much better than monopoly or risk that's for sure.
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Jim Jackson
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That's a piss poor attitude you have there. My IN-LAWS OF 16 YEARS just accepted my gaming and bought me a shitty party game from Target. I was tickled pink by the attempt.

By the way, I returned the game. I mean party game from Target...C'mon...
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Emily H.
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Did they give you the game with a copy of the receipt (or a gift receipt)? Or did they tell you to feel free to exchange it?
 
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Just enjoy the gift instead of being disappointed because it wasn't on a list that you had given them. The thought is what matters, and if you actually play it, you might find that you like it.
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Jim Jackson
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Quote:
Did they give you the game with a copy of the receipt (or a gift receipt)? Or did they tell you to feel free to exchange it?


I received a gift receipt. I appreciated the gift receipt. i used the gift receipt.
 
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Mike
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Just accept the gift...at least they tried.

Plus instead of complaining you could actual try the game instead of immediately passing it off as garbage. I've sworn that I would hate certain games until I actually tried them. Who knows, you might find that you actual enjoy a game you otherwise would have never given a fair shake.

After playing, if you hate the game you can tell them that it wasn't your cup of tea...
 
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Jerry Martin
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I think this is the best option:

F) Send the game to me as it is something I have wanted for awhile.

This one is possible too:

G) Try the game and find out that your hatred of AT has been misguided and that you actually like them and revel in a world filled with theme and fun.

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mike hunt
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TaxpayersMoney wrote:
I am a Euro gamer. The games I enjoy playing are things like: Puerto Rico, Princes of Florence, El Grande, Agricola and Tigris & Euphrates. So for my birthday I asked my future in-laws to buy me a new Euro game. Being the reasonable, uncontrolling kinda guy I am I gave them a list of four to choose from:

Goa
Power Grid
Caylus
Dominion

So my future father-in-law walks into his local games shop and finds that he cannot get any on my list as none of them are stocked. So he asks the shop owner for a recommendation. He walks out of the shop proudly cradling a brand new spanking copy of... Last Night on Earth. What kinda shop assistant sees a list of Euro games and then recommends Ameristrash? Argh!


I'd like any of those four games, I'd also LOVE a copy of LNoE.

Quote:

So imagine the crushing disappointment when I open the present to find that he's bought me Ameritrash, roll and move, Zombie nonsense.


Have you played it yet?

Quote:

Obviously my acting skills aren't quite in the Meryl Streep league, as they reiterated a number of times that I could swap the game if I wanted to. The question is, what do I do now, given that I do not want to offend my future in-laws? Options include:

a) Keep the game, never play it and pretend to have loved it.
b) Secretly try to swap the game and pretend to have loved it.
c) Own up, say thanks but no thanks and ask them to swap the game.
d) Keep the game, play it, hate it and pretend to have loved it.
e) Give up on the idea of marrying the woman I love and rant incoherently at my in-laws about the evils of dice games.


I didn't see the 'try to enjoy the thoughtful gift' option there. They went to the trouble of going to the shop and bought what is a popular, well-liked game by many.

Next time I'd recommend sending links to online stores that have your game in stock. That's what I do when I make my regular unreasonable demands for presents that no High Street shop sells.

Also don't ask for games that are difficult to obtain.

Is it really a surprise that they were out of stock?

IGUK:


http://www.iguk.co.uk/products/dominion-7485.aspx
Out of Stock: This item is on order, but we do not have a fixed date for restock.

http://www.iguk.co.uk/products/caylus-6963.aspx
Out of Stock: This item is on order, but we do not have a fixed date for restock.

http://www.iguk.co.uk/products/power-grid-1843.aspx
Out of Stock: This item is on order, but we do not have a fixed date for restock.

http://www.iguk.co.uk/products/goa-1706.aspx
Out of Stock: This item is on order, but we do not have a fixed date for restock.


I checked "The Board Game Club".

Goa: out of stock
Dominion: out of stock stock 20th March 2009
Caylus: out of stock

Only Power Grid is available there

Why are you beating them up for not delivering the unobtainable? The average person has no idea what 'Caylus' is or whether 'Last Night on Earth' is comparable or not.
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Todd Pytel
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A few comments...

1) Perhaps it's just not clear from your post, but I think you need to be a lot more appreciative of your in-laws. Not only did they try to buy you a gift that you really wanted, but they actually went to a game store (very scary for non-gamers), and asked the clerk when they couldn't find what you wanted. That's pretty fricking awesome in my book, and I wouldn't have to act in order to be appreciative of such a gift, even if it wasn't a game I wanted. It's not like they just picked up a copy of Monopoly from the local big box. I'm not much into AT myself, but on such an occasion I'd be psyching myself up for some zombie mayhem with the whole family invited.

2) That being said, if they're already well aware that you're not satisfied with the game, then you should swap the game and let them know. They bought the game in order to make you happy - the happier you are, the happier they'll be.

3) This is exactly why I never ask anyone to buy me a game, why I never buy my wife bike parts, etc. For any hobby you're really serious about, your desires are going to be far more specific than what any well-intentioned non-hobbiest can guess. Some gifts are best bought for yourself.
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James Caddick
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Lol. Thanks for everyone's replies! After I posted, I realised I should have put a line in there about how sweet it was of them to try to get me something I liked. I really do appreciate it, in fact that's what's making the predicament even more troublesome. They went to a huge effort, to do something really thoughtful and I still didn't like the game. How do I tell them that?! But then I knew I'd come in for stick, I always do when I post on this website.

I have played Zombies, which seems fairly similar to LNoE, and I didn't like that at all. Is it fair to say they are similar games, or at least similar genres?
 
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That is not Depeche but rather
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TaxpayersMoney wrote:
Lol. Thanks for everyone's replies! After I posted, I realised I should have put a line in there about how sweet it was of them to try to get me something I liked. I really do appreciate it, in fact that's what's making the predicament even more troublesome. They went to a huge effort, to do something really thoughtful and I still didn't like the game. How do I tell them that?! But then I knew I'd come in for stick, I always do when I post on this website.

I have played Zombies, which seems fairly similar to LNoE, and I didn't like that all. Is it fair to say they are similar games, or at least similar genres?

Similar Genre: Yes
Similar Game: Absolutely not

I've played both, and LNoE is far better than Zombies. LNoE does a great job capturing that campy B-movie feeling. The heroes really need to work together and think carefully about their moves. The pressure is always on and one wrong move will make you Zombie-chow.
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James Caddick
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Progmode wrote:
Similar Genre: Yes
Similar Game: Absolutely not

I've played both, and LNoE is far better than Zombies. LNoE does a great job capturing that campy B-movie feeling. The heroes really need to work together and think carefully about their moves. The pressure is always on and one wrong move will make you Zombie-chow.


Interesting. I am not a fan of campy B-movies, but then I'm not really a fan of farming either, yet I like Agricola. Your comment about the theme being good would tend to put me off the game, because I don't care about the theme of games really and if theme is all a game has going for it then I'd rather pass. But your point about there being need for player co-operation is actually quite appealing. All the games we play are every man for himself (sadly we have no females in our game group, although I'm working on my fiance (she enjoys Ingenious for example)) so that might make a refreshing change. But then I don't really like change... but we don't need to go too far into a psycho-analysis of my character.
 
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Yannick Carriere
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I haver two answers for you:

A. Play it first. My semi-gaming friends invited me for a games night at their place and they pulled this out. My inner reaction was "yuk! this sucks and I'm not going to enjoy my evening." Then we played I really got into it and actually liked it very, very much. We played back to back games and we had a blast. I'd totally play it again. It's totally more than roll and move. There's a lot more and it's fun. Give it a chance and you might enjoy it. And true, it would add variety to your collection. A benefit in my opinion.

B. If you really don't want to play it or have played it and decided it wasn't worhty of your collection, exchange it (although I wonder if you can do that after having opened it...) then tell you in-laws that you exchanged it for a game more in your liking. The idea of going to the store with one or both of them to do the exchange is a good idea in my opinion.

Good luck
 
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Scott Woodard
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"Last Night On Earth" is great fun and to dismiss it without playing it is a mistake.

Try it... You might actually like it!
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Alexander Scott
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It's hard to respond to your post without a better understanding of your relationship with your future in-laws. Your title is "attack of the in-laws" and you mention that you were visibly disappointed when they bought you something you didn't like. Maybe in-laws on your side of the pond are more doting, but over here if your in-laws consider you better than some random joe off the street making off with their daughter, you are hitting above average. Actually receiving gifts from them, let alone shopping from your list, means you are damn lucky. And you were speechless with disappointment? Why not accept it in the spirit it was given, and have the "in-law" game which your lovely bride's parents gave you? You could play it "for fun" and enjoy the idea that your in-laws like you (like a joke game or something). Pretending that it's what you wanted is not a good idea, but you could say that "joining a new family is a new experience, and maybe this game is a new experience that I'll like too." Taking it back, IMHO, makes you look like a greedy tactless bastard.

I'm really not saying this to rag on you, but I think you may not have a full appreciation for how hard it is to come by nice in-laws, let alone ones who think of you as more than an accessory for their child who shows up occasionally. Which game you get from them should be secondary to the fact that they'll be in your lives for another 20-50 years.
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James Caddick
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Quote:
It's hard to respond to your post without a better understanding of your relationship with your future in-laws. Your title is "attack of the in-laws" and you mention that you were visibly disappointed when they bought you something you didn't like.


The subejct line was just meant to be funny and eye-catching. I like my future in-laws.

My main problem with keeping the game and playing it, is that I don't want to have to lie to them if I don't enjoy it. I'm simply not going to say, yeah I played the game, didn't like it. I'm not very good at faking it though. Also I don't get to play board games very often and I'm not keen on taking up valuable board game time playing a game I'm reasonably confident I won't like.

Quote:
Taking it back, IMHO, makes you look like a greedy tactless bastard.

Anyway I'll end my input in the thread here, before I get any more insults. Honestly, I do find the BGG community to be a rather tactless, agressive bunch. It's a great site, with loads of useful info and features, but the forums are no place for the weak!
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Alexander Scott
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TaxpayersMoney wrote:

Quote:
Taking it back, IMHO, makes you look like a greedy tactless bastard.

Anyway I'll end my input in the thread here, before I get any more insults. Honestly, I do find the BGG community to be a rather tactless, agressive bunch. It's a great site, with loads of useful info and features, but the forums are no place for the weak!


I don't know that it helps any, but I didn't say that you are a greedy tactless bastard, merely that returning a family gift could make you look like one, especially in the context of the story as written. If you genuinely want advice, I was trying to say that returning the item after the trouble your in-laws went to (and getting LNOE is a damn good try; I would have expected Monopoly or Taboo or something from someone outside the hobby) gives the impression of someone who values getting exactly what he wants over the good intentions of people who don't know you well. Again, this sin't about you but the perception of you. I still recommend finding some way to value the gift without having to like the game.

Anyway, I wanted you to know that I'm not passing judgement on you (as if the opinions of random internet people matter) whatever you decide, but that you may find that your in-laws may take it personally, protestations to the contrary.
 
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mike hunt
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TaxpayersMoney wrote:
Quote:
Taking it back, IMHO, makes you look like a greedy tactless bastard.

Anyway I'll end my input in the thread here, before I get any more insults. Honestly, I do find the BGG community to be a rather tactless, agressive bunch. It's a great site, with loads of useful info and features, but the forums are no place for the weak!


Welcome to the internet.
 
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Randy McKinney
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Kudzujim wrote:
Quote:
Did they give you the game with a copy of the receipt (or a gift receipt)? Or did they tell you to feel free to exchange it?


I received a gift receipt. I appreciated the gift receipt. i used the gift receipt.


A gift receipt is a receipt you can use to return the gift without showing you the price and such, generally. So if you used it, you've already come to a conclusion.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Receipt

Are you sure you aren't thinking of a gift card?
 
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