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Subject: I Have This Game. Also, I Own Europe. rss

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Matt Drake
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It's possible that this review is motivated by more than a simple desire to educate and entertain. In fact, it's completely likely that a third purpose of this review is to brag loudly that I own a copy of Warhammer Quest in absolutely fantastic shape. Heck, I had to take the plastic off the cards and cut the figures off the sprues before I could play. I mean this puppy is cherry. While I'm bragging, I have a very large penis (that may or may not be true, or even relevant. I just felt like adding in an extra brag).

Of course, that brag (that I have Warhammer Quest, not the dick joke) is completely lost on you if you're not familiar with Warhammer Quest, so allow me to drop some enlightment on you in the form of a completely unobjective game review.

Way back in the olden days (you know, 1995), Games Workshop used to make some really cool board games that riffed off their Warhammer minis games. Over time, the miniatures got all popular with unattractive guys who spend too much time in the back room at the game store and not enough time with girls. The board games, on the other hand, did not make quite as much money (probably because they did not require a new codex every two years that made everyone go out and spend another mortgage payment on plastic soldiers). So despite having some really hot properties on their hands, Games Workshop stopped printing them. More than a decade later, those games are pound-for-pound more valuable than a bar of gold (that is almost certainly not true, but since I don't know how much you can get for a gold bar, I could actually be right).

There are a few reasons why Warhammer Quest fetches such a high price on eBay these days. For one thing, it's sort of rare. Not ridiculously so - they're not like original copies of the Gettysburg address, or a signed DiMaggio rookie card - but they're not easy to find at anything like a reasonable price. If you do find a copy, it's probably in a beat-up box and missing half the pieces, so finding a copy that was just this side of brand new was not just lucky, it was AWESOME. Almost as awesome as my great job playing online video games and reading webcomics for six figures a year (I might have that job - but a reasonable person would ask himself why, if I make that much money, do I have to write a review site for free games).

The enormous number of awesome pieces is another reason Warhammer Quest costs more than a new television (if the television is very small). The figures in this box are absolutely, without contest, the best you'll find in a dungeon game. It goes without saying that they're better than anything else made at the time, but they're actually nicer even than what you'll find in Descent. And that's saying something, because those Descent minis are pretty damned cool.

It's not just the miniatures, either (though there are nearly 100 minis in the box). The dungeon tiles are fully illustrated and completely gorgeous. The tiles connect to each other using plastic clips in the form of fully sculpted doors. There are bunches of cards, and optional tiles, and little cardboard counters. By way of bragging further, I punched most of the counters on the set that I got a couple weeks ago. Also, I drive a Maserati (this is definitely not true, but it would make a pretty cool brag).

The game itself is hailed by many as the greatest dungeon game ever. The rules are fairly easy to learn and follow (unlike the current reigning dungeon game champion, which has to have online FAQs and fan-created indexes just so you can remember what happens when you get spider web on you). One enormously awesome feature is that you don't need a dungeon master - all four players can join in on the same side, so you don't wind up with one guy who has to be the bad guy all the time because he's the poor bastard who had to read all the rules.

As players explore, dungeon cards tell them which room to place next. There are junctions and dungeon rooms and corridors and horribly dangerous objective rooms where everyone pitches in to try to overcome huge bad-ass villains who could totally eat your head (and frequently do). You draw event cards when you explore a new room, and most of these event cards tell you all about the hordes of monsters that swarm into action and carve on your heroes like overzealous prison tattoo artists. In case you're wondering, I have prison tattoos so cool they'll make your great-great-grandparents cry in their graves (no, that's not true either, but it would be pretty cool, right?).

Now, a lot of dungeon games provide a good amount of replay value. HeroQuest can be played like 20 times before you even need to start making your own adventures, and Descent has the Road to Legend expansion that would require a team of four guys about two solid weeks of Mountain Dew and caffeine pills to finish a whole game. But Warhammer Quest - now THIS is a replayable game.

For one thing, you don't need to run out and buy big fat expansions (though there are a few of those out there). You can play out the part of the game where the heroes return to the town - or not, if you don't feel like it. You can add new monsters simply by buying a few miniatures and adding them to the mix - or not, if you're not in the mood. You can gain skills, and keep cool treasures, and get tougher so you can fight meaner dudes. You can start with the main game and play for years without ever worrying about buying more stuff. But let's face it, if you spent $250 to get this game off some eBay scalper, you can probably afford to pick up a few skeletons or beastmen.

There's even rules for turning your Warhammer Quest game into a full-on RPG, complete with a game master, and then you really never need to leave your mom's basement (except maybe to go to rennaissance festivals). You can run your heroes through dark, dank dungeons, while one guy tells you all about the scary kobold wearing a headdress made of human ears, and then says, 'Gimme a roll!'

Yes, I am exceptionally proud of my copy of Warhammer Quest. It's ridiculously fun, with years of playing goodness and a huge online library of fan-created support material. The components are absolutely top-notch. And as an added bonus, I'm dating Heidi Klum AND Tyra Banks.

Figure out for yourself if that last brag was true.

Summary

Pros:
Enormous piles of great miniatures, beautiful dungeon tiles, and lot of other cool stuff
Simple to learn and challenging to win
Fully cooperative
You can even play it solo!


Cons:
Can be a little arbitrarily 'holy crap that's hard!' if the dice hate you
Sweet Jeebus it's expensive
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Casey Rogers
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So how'd you get yours in such great condition?
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Frank Eisenhauer
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You bragg about getting just one meager copy of this game ?

PS: Congrats on finding such a nice specimen! May I ask what you paid for it?
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Matt Drake
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I got it in a trade with a user here named Darley. He's my new best friend. The fact that it was in immaculate condition was just pure dumb luck on my part.
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Universal Head
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Allow me to brag also. I bought a copy about a year ago off eBay for the usual pricey price. But when I got it, I discovered the seller hadn't even bothered to mention he had painted most of the miniatures to a pretty high standard. Yep.

Oh, and the game was in perfect condition too.

PS. It strikes me that the ridiculous prices this game fetches are almost completely due to the greed of one eBay seller (who shall remain nameless) who bought as many copies as possible and artificially inflated the prices. Of course, people were dumb enough to pay ...
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Joe Wyka
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While we're bragging, I picked up an Excellent condition copy, and excellent condition Lair of the Orc Lord and a boxed Pit Fighter all for $100 at a local FLGS game auction about 6 months ago. I need to play it!
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Steve
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Fuck yeah Skeletor. Damn I wish I had my copy still.
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Tommy Dean
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I bought the entire kit and caboodle at a GW "dump all our good stuff" sale (along with a heap of Blood Bowl teams) back in '95 or so for a price that would be criminal to mention in it's cheapness. This was played with friends while my hot wife bounced about the place with her equally hot flight attendant colleagues.

That would be MY brag if I hadn't eventually divorced said hottie, and in the ensuing separating of "stuff", somehow my Quest gear, which had been repacked in a super cool suitcase type thing, was accidentally packed into HER moving truck by her brother.

All attempts at saving rolls failed.



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Michael Williams
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MrSkeletor wrote:
Big. Fuckin, Deal.

Full game.
Both expansions.
All expansion character packs (including the bret knight.)
Every white dwarf article printed on the game, including the skaven one which looked like a prototype for a third expansion.
Copies 1 & 3 of deathblow.
Copy played by the boardgaming legend Mr Skeletor, with some floorplans even have been marked by official Mr Skeletor Droll and prototype adventures made by the legend in his younger days (a real collectors item).

Beat that!


That's it? No Pits and Traps expansion? Amateur...
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Snowball
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Hahaha I laugh at you proud Descent owner.
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JB
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I just checked my cupboard & low & behold there is a copy of warhammer quest sitting at the bottom, the very bottom. It hasn't been pulled out for years.
We bought it as the worth successor to hero quest but it just didn't work for us. The biggest killer was randomn dungeon cards instead of a designed dungeon layout, and it seemed the ability to split up the party & go adventuring was also lost. The heroquest board almost always allowed for you to reconnect with your buddies if you split up without having to backtrack.
Am I missing something ? Please let me know so I can dust off the rules & get a game going !
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Michael Williams
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MrSkeletor wrote:
MeanBone wrote:


That's it? No Pits and Traps expansion? Amateur...


No what????


That GW and its sneaky mail order exclusives. ninja

You can see the boards here -- http://www.wqchronicles.com/boards/bridgeofdespair.jpg -- and here -- http://www.wqchronicles.com/boards/crossroadsofdoom.jpg

Easy enough to Google a torrent if you want the rules...

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Nevin Ball
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I wish I would have bought this when I first saw it back in 1995. I didn't game much back then because I was too busy surfing and chasing skirts. Where were my priorities!?!
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Mark Hansen
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Dang I guess the three copies I traded for (two for myself and got one for my friend who got hooked) were just too inexpensive to brag about. Especially since one I traded for only cost me one new copy of THURN AND TAXIS!!!! - Holy @%*$ I still can't believe that happened.

The other two were in almost new condition getting one for $80 in game trades and the other for about a $100 new and used game trade as well. Ya three copies for under $200 bucks is nothing to brag about.

I mean why would I brag when they came with extra mins, boards, cards, and White Dwarf goddies? It's totally not fun to have double of everything and play with my good friend live via web cams on the other side of the continent. Absolutely nothing to brag about here... so, move along.
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Matt Drake
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Nevin wrote:
I was too busy surfing and chasing shirts. Where were my priorities!?!

Apparently with the Village People and Boy George.
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Nevin Ball
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VixenTorGames wrote:
Nevin wrote:
I was too busy surfing and chasing shirts. Where were my priorities!?!

Apparently with the Village People and Boy George.


Crap!!! Fine place for a typo. Please replace shirts with skirts. blush
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Roberto Bontemps
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JBTheChamp wrote:
I just checked my cupboard & low & behold there is a copy of warhammer quest sitting at the bottom, the very bottom. It hasn't been pulled out for years.
We bought it as the worth successor to hero quest but it just didn't work for us. The biggest killer was randomn dungeon cards instead of a designed dungeon layout, and it seemed the ability to split up the party & go adventuring was also lost. The heroquest board almost always allowed for you to reconnect with your buddies if you split up without having to backtrack.
Am I missing something ? Please let me know so I can dust off the rules & get a game going !


You could create your own dungeons instead of random generating them. Just lay them out before you play or have a gamemaster run. Also you could just get rid of the lantern so your party can separate if you want. The game is really tough if you are not together though. It really is too much fun to let sit on your shelf. I just got a copy two weeks ago and am putting it through its paces with my girl during the week and a couple of friends on weekends.

By the way I got my copy with no minis but both of the expansions, treasure pack 1, white dwarf extras and rules for six of the character packs for $80. I got a ton of minis already so monsters are not a problem and I just got the 4 original warriors today to round out my game.
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VixenTorGames wrote:
I got it in a trade with a user here named Darley. He's my new best friend. The fact that it was in immaculate condition was just pure dumb luck on my part.


So you're the guy who got PEter's copy? I was over at his house the other day and asked about a large stack of games he had sitting out; he said he traded away his copy of Warhammer Quest. He seemed content with the trade on his end...

Brian
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Peter Darley
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Matt,

I'm glad you're happy with the game, and I'm happy to have helped you to increase the size of your penis.

Strangely, the thing I got from our trade that I'm most jazzed about was the TSR Indiana Jones RPG. That's something I coveted since '84 when I wad 13.

Thanks,
Peter
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Universal Head
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Darley wrote:
Strangely, the thing I got from our trade that I'm most jazzed about was the TSR Indiana Jones RPG.


And they're pretty rare too, I have a copy and all the modules, though I've never played it and probably never will. You'll appreciate the Diana Jones Awards for excellence in gaming then:

http://www.dianajonesaward.org/

Note 'About the Diana Jones Award > What is the Diana Jones Award?'
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Darley wrote:
Matt,

I'm glad you're happy with the game, and I'm happy to have helped you to increase the size of your penis.



That sounds like something Tobias Funke would say...

Brian
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Sven
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Just got this spam:

Get WRHMMER QUEST CHEAP - Get bigger now. Make you wife happy!

These guys sure react fast to new markets!

Congratulation to Matt. WHQ has a very special place in my collection too.
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MrSkeletor wrote:
Big. Fuckin, Deal.

Full game.
Both expansions.
All expansion character packs (including the bret knight.)
Every white dwarf article printed on the game, including the skaven one which looked like a prototype for a third expansion.
Copies 1 & 3 of deathblow.
Copy played by the boardgaming legend Mr Skeletor, with some floorplans even have been marked by official Mr Skeletor Droll and prototype adventures made by the legend in his younger days (a real collectors item).

Beat that!


I had all that (apart from the copies played by Mr Skeletor). My parents threw it away in a clearout while I was at college.

I'm sad.
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Hahn Arama
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I had a guide, a Bedouin man, who called me 'Abu el Banat'. And whenever we'd meet another Bedouin, he'd introduce me as Abu el Banat. And the Bedouin would laugh and laugh and offer me a Pint of beer. (cont below)
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And I'd go to pay them for the beer and they wouldn't let me. "Abu el Banat" means "father of daughters." They thought the beer was the least they could do.
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VixenTorGames wrote:
Nevin wrote:
I was too busy surfing and chasing shirts. Where were my priorities!?!

Apparently with the Village People and Boy George.


Drake steps up to the plate, here comes the sloooowww pitch, GRAND SLAM out of the park.

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Michael Williams
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bigfluffylemon wrote:
MrSkeletor wrote:
Big. Fuckin, Deal.

Full game.
Both expansions.
All expansion character packs (including the bret knight.)
Every white dwarf article printed on the game, including the skaven one which looked like a prototype for a third expansion.
Copies 1 & 3 of deathblow.
Copy played by the boardgaming legend Mr Skeletor, with some floorplans even have been marked by official Mr Skeletor Droll and prototype adventures made by the legend in his younger days (a real collectors item).

Beat that!


I had all that (apart from the copies played by Mr Skeletor). My parents threw it away in a clearout while I was at college.

I'm sad.


Now that is a tragedy.
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