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Subject: The #1 Thing That Irritates Me Every Day of the Year rss

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Joe Gola
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I drive to work on the Merritt Parkway, which is a hilly, winding, not-very-safe road that was originally intended to be more park than highway. The speed limit is 50, but most people drive 70. Every week there are new tire-scars scrawled across the pavement ending in twinkles of broken glass. There are wreaths on the trees and guardrails. A girl who used to work in my office once flipped her car off of a bridge and walked with a limp ever since.

I generally drive 60 MPH in the right lane. You would think that that would keep me out of trouble, but eventually I always get behind some guy who just can't drive at a consistent speed. He's doing 60. 65. 50. 55. 60. 50. He's probably talking on the phone and buttering a croissant at the same time. Finally I get fed up and go to pass him, moving into the left lane and accelerating my own car to 65.

At this point two things happen simultaneously. First, the guy who couldn't keep a consistent speed before says "oh shit, this guy's passing me? I'd better speed up!" and accelerates his own car to 65. At the same moment, out nowhere some other guy doing 85 blasts up behind me and wants to get by. He shows me that he wants to get by by putting his front bumper directly onto my back bumper and holding it there. He's saying I'M IN A HURRY I WANT TO GO PAST RIGHT NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW. So, I'm trapped with one douche bag to the right of me and one behind me, and the only way out is for me to gun it on the Widowmaker Parkway.

If you're the guy that's riding my tail at sixty-five miles an hour on the Merritt, here is my message for you: get the fuck away from me. It's fine by me if you want to commit suicide—in fact, I strongly encourage it—just go do it somewhere else, okay?
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Jonathan "Spartan Spawn, Sworn, Raised for Warring!"
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I hate jerk wads like that, either one. You try and pass them and they cant be passed, or some idiot tails you while your trying to pass the other idiot. That being said, the most effective thing I do is just slow down, I dont hit the brakes, I just let off the gas and coast. This allows the idiot on the right to get ahead, lets the idiot behind whip around me and I can get back into the left lane.
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Nick Bah Doo
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Oh man, I love those bumper-assholes. Here's what I do:

1) slow down to 90% of allowed speed
2) wait
3) turn on signal
4) wait
5) wait some more
6) wait yet some more
7) ever so slowly make way

I can almost hear them screaming when I do this. Be aware though that your alignment will shift to Chaotic Evil if you do this too often.

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J
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I hear you, brother. You might want to take a look at this thread:
http://www.boardgamegeek.com/thread/355542

LOTS of driving pet peeves included therein.
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Hammock Backpacker
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I'm with you man. I wish there was a way for those people to be surrounded by clones of themselves on the road just to see how painful it is to be around them. You know...all those other people...'cause we all drive fine.
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Joe Gola
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Nikku wrote:
Oh man, I love those bumper-assholes. Here's what I do:

1) slow down to 90% of allowed speed
2) wait
3) turn on signal
4) wait
5) wait some more
6) wait yet some more
7) ever so slowly make way

I like that, but the problem is that it might only confirm in the obnoxious driver's mind that the people around him are all dull-witted and so that communication via bumper-kissing is warranted.

If I'm on a secondary road and someone is tailgating me I like to slow down...slow down...then speed up quickly. Repeat as necessary until they get the hint.
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J
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Gola wrote:

If I'm on a secondary road and someone is tailgating me I like to slow down...slow down...then speed up quickly. Repeat as necessary until they get the hint.

That's when I start shooting out tires on your car.
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Jeff Wiles
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matthew.marquand wrote:
'cause we all drive fine.


We do drive fine!

On rare occasions I will catch myself being "that guy" and it makes me feel like a heel.

And Joe, I sympathize. I hate Erratic Speed Guy with a white-hot passion.
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Just call me Erik
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jarredscott78 wrote:
Gola wrote:

If I'm on a secondary road and someone is tailgating me I like to slow down...slow down...then speed up quickly. Repeat as necessary until they get the hint.

That's when I start shooting out tires on your car.


If you cease tailgaiting, this wouldn't be a problem, would it?

I drive a manual transmission car, so when people do the tailgaiting thing to get around me, I drop it down a gear and let up on the clutch. Bleeding speed with no brakelights usually scares the tar out of them and they back off
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J
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unixrevolution wrote:


If you cease tailgaiting, this wouldn't be a problem, would it?


Well that's one possible solution...
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Erik D
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My brother (a Rhode Islandite) and I were discussing what awful drivers New Englanders are, particularly the closer to Boston you get. (In fact, his wife is queen of the 40-mph-in-the-left-lane-"why-can't-they-just-pass-me?" drivers.)

I learned to drive in New Jersey where all drivers are assholes, but we're all the same kind of assholes, so there's harmony.
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matthew.marquand wrote:
I'm with you man. I wish there was a way for those people to be surrounded by clones of themselves on the road just to see how painful it is to be around them. You know...all those other people...'cause we all drive fine.

I took a defensive driving class for work, and did an exercise where we rated the average OTHER driver, on a scale of 1-10, and then did the same for ourselves. The average OTHER driver was something like a 4, and the average SELF driver was around an 8. The instructor explained that this was, statistically, impossible.
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unixrevolution wrote:
I drive a manual transmission car, so when people do the tailgaiting thing to get around me, I drop it down a gear and let up on the clutch. Bleeding speed with no brakelights usually scares the tar out of them and they back off

Alternately, if it's during the day, you can just turn your lights on. It looks like you've just hit your brakes, and it's kind of funny when you see someone stop so quickly behind you. Well ... until you realize that you just caused a 10-car pile-up on the interstate.
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Jeff
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erak wrote:
I learned to drive in New Jersey where all drivers are assholes, but we're all the same kind of assholes, so there's harmony.


After moving to New Jersey, I can confirm - there's a steep learning curve required, but at least once I learn what the 'bad traits' are, i can look out for them. The drivers here are remarkably... well, let's say 'consistent'!

For example, I am no longer amazed by the number of folks that see red lights as merely a suggestion to stop, and not a requirement...
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Jess i TRON
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jeffreyac wrote:
erak wrote:
I learned to drive in New Jersey where all drivers are assholes, but we're all the same kind of assholes, so there's harmony.


After moving to New Jersey, I can confirm - there's a steep learning curve required, but at least once I learn what the 'bad traits' are, i can look out for them. The drivers here are remarkably... well, let's say 'consistent'!

For example, I am no longer amazed by the number of folks that see red lights as merely a suggestion to stop, and not a requirement...


Oh, yeah. I went to NJ once, for just one day. The aggressive drivers freaked me out on my trip from the airport to the store. Then we stayed up all night helping with store inventory. The next morning, on caffeine and adrenalin, I fit right in. "Screw you guys, this is my lane now."
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Brian Bankler
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Nikku wrote:
Oh man, I love those bumper-assholes.


Rarely (ever-so-rarely), here's what I do when I'm in the left lane and someone is riding on me (and there's a car in the right lane).

I slow down slightly, so that the car on my right starts pulling ahead. The car behind me switches lanes. I speed up slightly, so that I pull back even, the trailer gets behind me. Repeat.

I think the most times I've gotten a car to switch lanes is 5-6 (spread over about 3-4 minutes). I look forward to the days when I resemble a doddering old man, I'll probably be able to double that number before they catch on and start seriously considering vehicular homicide.
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Brian Bankler
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erak wrote:

I learned to drive in New Jersey where all drivers are assholes, but we're all the same kind of assholes, so there's harmony.


Ditto Pittsburgh.

The Carnegie Mellon unofficial graduate student handbook was a godsend for its section on "Driving in Pittsburgh" explained in clear, concise, jargon filled language any engineer can understand.

That's where I learned the N+1 rule. ("After a light turns red, If N cars can safely run it before oncoming traffic starts up, N=1 cars will make the attempt.")

San Antonio, however, has highly variable driving behavior. So you have to improvise.
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Just call me Erik
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Verkisto wrote:
unixrevolution wrote:
I drive a manual transmission car, so when people do the tailgaiting thing to get around me, I drop it down a gear and let up on the clutch. Bleeding speed with no brakelights usually scares the tar out of them and they back off

Alternately, if it's during the day, you can just turn your lights on. It looks like you've just hit your brakes, and it's kind of funny when you see someone stop so quickly behind you. Well ... until you realize that you just caused a 10-car pile-up on the interstate.


I always drive with my lights on, makes my bright retina-searing green convertible easier to see.. They can usually tell from the third brake light, though, if I have the brakes on.
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Eric "Shippy McShipperson" Mowrer
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The solution:

Get a rear bumper that is shaped like a backwards snow plow blade and slam on your brakes when that guy comes up. The guy behind you will slide neatly into the guy to the right of you taking them both out. Easy peasy.
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Steve Wagner
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I drive the speed limit. I use to drive a lot faster, but now I'm okay with the speed limit in most areas.

One thing does drive me crazy: why does 75% of the people speed on the interstates/turnpikes and small town roads that have 25 to 30 MPH speed limits, but you get them on a 2 or 3 lane highway or even an open out of town road, then it turns to 75% of the people cannot drive as fast as the speed limit?

There's so many days where there's a line of traffic behind someone that goes 35 in a 45 or 50 MPH zone. There's no way to pass, because there's way too much traffic on the other side of the road.
 
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Your mistake is in trying to pass in the first place. Just keep ramming the guy in front of you until he gets the message and pulls over, or drops the croissant in his lap and flips his car off a bridge trying to retrieve it.
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Verkisto wrote:
I took a defensive driving class for work
So this is what librarians need to study?
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wmshub wrote:
Verkisto wrote:
I took a defensive driving class for work
So this is what librarians need to study?


When they get a demerit for bowling over kids in a crowded aisle in the children's section, yes.
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wmshub wrote:
Verkisto wrote:
I took a defensive driving class for work

So this is what librarians need to study?

Real Answer: Anyone who used his or her personal car for work use was required to take the class. This was, after all, a government position.

Better Answer: You have no idea how often library managers are kidnapped and held ransom for overdue fines.
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Verkisto wrote:
unixrevolution wrote:
I drive a manual transmission car, so when people do the tailgaiting thing to get around me, I drop it down a gear and let up on the clutch. Bleeding speed with no brakelights usually scares the tar out of them and they back off

Alternately, if it's during the day, you can just turn your lights on. It looks like you've just hit your brakes, and it's kind of funny when you see someone stop so quickly behind you. Well ... until you realize that you just caused a 10-car pile-up on the interstate.


Back in the '60s, sports car racer Dan Gurney did something like this. He installed an extra brake light switch that he could work with his fingertips. When he would approach a corner during a race, he would hit this switch, activating his brake lights before he was actually braking. Other racers behind him would see the lights and start braking early, thinking that Dan was getting ready for the corner. The other racers were basically slowing down before they needed to, giving Dan a little bit more of a lead each time.
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