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Subject: Insult me! (First post updated with results) rss

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Carc >> BSG
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That's right, insult me! I've got it comin'. I've done things, see... things that would make your hair bleed, things that would make a sailor blush, things that would make an IRS agent feel better about themselves...

Give me your best shot. I can take it. A shiny geekgold to the most creative insult by midnight this Sunday.

Things that are off-limits... nothing. There are no limits to what topics you can bring up to make me seethe with rage. Bash me for my parenting skills, question my ability to satisfy my womens, compare my face to Howie Mandell's taint.

Do your worst.

__________________________________________

THE RESULTS:


Thank you all for participating in the annual Make Eric Cry contest. There were some good entries this year... my wife could learn a thing or two from some of you.

First, let me congratulate those who came oh-so-close to trippin' the tear trigger. This guy needs no introduction, but here's one anyway. Echo2112 came into the contest early with this little gem -

Echo2112 wrote:
Abecedarian;
Sir, you are an apogenous, bovaristic, coproplalial, dasypygal, excerebrose, facinorous, gnathonic, hircine, ithyphallic, jumentous, kyphotic, labrose, mephitic, napiform, oligophrenial, papuliferous, quisquilian, rebarbative, saponaceous, thersitical, unguinous, ventripotent, wlatsome, xylocephalous, yirning, zoophyte!


Echo was kind enough to provide a translation at the end of his post, for which I'm eternally grateful. It turns out I've been using kyphotic wrong all these years. Let's all give our most confublationary klipotatiudes to Echo!!!

:applause:

Now we come to our friend from somewhere that's not here. Yohanleafheart delved deep into my soul and saw what he thought would wound me to the core:

yohanleafheart wrote:

You sir, are a webdesigner!


Ouch! That stings! While web design may indeed be part of my resumé (or CV, for you non-American types), it's not my primary function, nor is it something to which I aspire. The sites I've created can barely be called functional, but all of my clients say the same thing - Damn, he's cheap! But I have to give it up to yohan - this was a stellar effort. Let's hear it for yohanleafheart!!!

:applause:

This next guy laid me out on the couch and touched my inner child. Charges will be filed later.

mandj2001 wrote:

Eric, I have been reading ChitChat for several weeks now, and contributing here and there. There are people here that are in-your-face-funny, there are people that make funny remarks "situationally", and then there are attention whores like you.

Really, do you lust for acknowledgement so much that you will go to these lengths to get it? I think you have answered that question already.

Seriously, grow up and try to add something to BGG instead of taking something away you ignorant loser.


*sniff* ... I'm still a little choked up over this one. mandj2001 has taken my desire to make others laugh and has turned it into something dark and debasing. But really I'm just glad he posted something on my thread... he likes me, he really likes me!!!

:applause:

Now we get to the recipient of that shiny piece of GeekGold. Spacerx (waits for applause to die down... waiting... waiting...) Spacerx came through on page 2 with this little ditty. It harkens back to the grand days of Blackadder II, when a long diatribe listing all of one's failings was considered the height of fashion. Without adoing further I give you spacerx's insult:

spacerx wrote:
It is not your mere outward appearance, though that alone is enough to make the brave flinch, to make the most saintly turn their heads in despair, and to reduce children to tears and cries of fright. No sir, inherent to your very being there is something uglier still. That dark, repulsive thing is what some would call a soul. It is a profound deviance from all that is human, a corruption beyond redemption, a dearth of morality, reason and logic, at the core of your person. I hope never again to cross paths with so horrific a prescence in this or any other internet thread.


:major applause:

Thank you all for posting, and thank you, BGG.com, for hosting this event. Also, thank you, Mom and Dad, whose afternoon of boredom all those decades ago made all this possible. GOOD NIGHT!!!
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Billy McBoatface
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Re: Insult me!
This is the stupidest idea for a thread in a long time.

Edit: Sorry, I'm insulting your thread, and not you. I guess I'm not very good at this kind of thing.
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Aloha!
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Re: Insult me!
Some people are like Slinkies, generally useless, but still good for a laugh when you push them down the stairs.
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True Blue Jon
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Re: Insult me!
You're worse than jell-o.
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Justin Morse
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Re: Insult me!



Sucks Meh Good Awesome
[COLOR=#FFFFFF]ejcarter X



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Carc >> BSG
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Re: Insult me!
wmshub wrote:
This is the stupidest idea for a thread in a long time.

Edit: Sorry, I'm insulting your thread, and not you. I guess I'm not very good at this kind of thing.


cold_fuzion wrote:
Some people are like Slinkies, generally useless, but still good for a laugh when you push them down the stairs.


quozl wrote:
You're worse than jell-o.


You guys are mean! cry
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Re: Insult me!
You snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings! Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, maloderous pervert!!!

Or did you just come here for an argument?
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Re: Insult me!
ejcarter wrote:
You guys are mean! cry
Wuss.
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Kendrick Martin
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Re: Insult me!
I'm not gonna insult you, ya moron!
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Re: Insult me!
Larry Levy wrote:
You snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings! Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, maloderous pervert!!!

Or did you just come here for an argument?


You plagarist! Are you too afraid to come up with your own material? Fearful of the scowls and snears you'll receive as you come up with nothing better than "Screw You, Clown!"?

Crawl away and don't return until you can mock me with sincerity!

cold_fuzion wrote:
Some people are like Slinkies, generally useless, but still good for a laugh when you push them down the stairs.


And you! Don't think I don't recognize that line. I'll give you the same advice my wife gave to me on my wedding night - "You've got to try harder."
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Re: Insult me!
ejcarter wrote:


Do your worst.


You're not worth it.
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Re: Insult me!
renegaderebel wrote:
I'm not gonna insult you, ya moron!


While I did say nothing was off-limits, there's no need to bring my religion into this.
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Stephen Dunne
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Re: Insult me!
Abecedarian; (i) Arranged in alphabetical order. (ii) elementary, devoid of sophistication.

I present to you the Abecedarian insult. And yes, all of these words are quite real. A translation into the more common vernacular will follow at the end.

Ahem.


Sir, you are an apogenous, bovaristic, coproplalial, dasypygal, excerebrose, facinorous, gnathonic, hircine, ithyphallic, jumentous, kyphotic, labrose, mephitic, napiform, oligophrenial, papuliferous, quisquilian, rebarbative, saponaceous, thersitical, unguinous, ventripotent, wlatsome, xylocephalous, yirning, zoophyte!

For those less gifted with language,

Sire, you are an impotent, conceited, obscene, hairy-buttocked, brainless, wicked, toadying, goatish, indecent, stable-smelling, hunchbacked, tick-lipped, stinking, turnip-shaped, feeble-minded, pimply, trashy, repellent, smarmy, foul-mouthed, greasy, gluttonous, loathsome, wooden-headed, whining, extremely low form of animal life!
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Samuel Sol
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Re: Insult me!
You make George Bush look smart, you silly dumb.
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Re: Insult me!
Echo2112 wrote:

Sir, you are an apogenous, bovaristic, coproplalial,

clipped because, my god...

xylocephalous, yirning, zoophyte!



I am NOT playing Scrabble with you.
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Samuel Sol
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Re: Insult me!
hmm insult you...

hmmm...

You sir, are a webdesigner!

*duck and cover*
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Your Friendly Neighborhood Hairfarmer
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Re: Insult me!


&

"Your a son of a motherless goat"


Couldn't decide which one to use, pick the one you feel more insulted by
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Re: Insult me!
yohanleafheart wrote:
hmm insult you...

hmmm...

You sir, are a webdesigner!



You take that back!
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Samuel Sol
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Re: Insult me!
ejcarter wrote:
yohanleafheart wrote:
hmm insult you...

hmmm...

You sir, are a webdesigner!



You take that back!


Never. The truth can't be concealed.
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Re: Insult me!
ejcarter wrote:
Larry Levy wrote:
You snotty-faced heap of parrot droppings! Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke, you vacuous, coffee-nosed, maloderous pervert!!!

Or did you just come here for an argument?

You plagarist! Are you too afraid to come up with your own material? Fearful of the scowls and snears you'll receive as you come up with nothing better than "Screw You, Clown!"?

Crawl away and don't return until you can mock me with sincerity!

Hey! You didn't say you'd fight back!

Stupid git!
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Re: Insult me!
Larry Levy wrote:
ejcarter wrote:

Crawl away and don't return until you can mock me with sincerity!

Hey! You didn't say you'd fight back!


Didn't say I wouldn't, either.

Larry Levy wrote:
Stupid git!


What was that?
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Re: Insult me!
Echo2112 wrote:
Abecedarian; (i) Arranged in alphabetical order. (ii) elementary, devoid of sophistication.

I present to you the Abecedarian insult. And yes, all of these words are quite real. A translation into the more common vernacular will follow at the end.

Ahem.


Sir, you are an apogenous, bovaristic, coproplalial, dasypygal, excerebrose, facinorous, gnathonic, hircine, ithyphallic, jumentous, kyphotic, labrose, mephitic, napiform, oligophrenial, papuliferous, quisquilian, rebarbative, saponaceous, thersitical, unguinous, ventripotent, wlatsome, xylocephalous, yirning, zoophyte!

For those less gifted with language,

Sire, you are an impotent, conceited, obscene, hairy-buttocked, brainless, wicked, toadying, goatish, indecent, stable-smelling, hunchbacked, tick-lipped, stinking, turnip-shaped, feeble-minded, pimply, trashy, repellent, smarmy, foul-mouthed, greasy, gluttonous, loathsome, wooden-headed, whining, extremely low form of animal life!


Stop, yer making some folks in the audience randy!!
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Matthew Miller
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Re: Insult me!
Your kids play monopoly!
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Re: Insult me!
You guys suck. It's been over an hour and not a single tear has besmirched my cheek.
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Stephen Dunne
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Re: Insult me!
I would rather play monopoly alone than play any other game with you!
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