Chris Intres
United States
Arkansas
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Sorry to post this here, but I recently got back from a showing and I can't seem to get it out of my mind. One thing about this review is that I'm going to react to things Michael Bay has said to the media about the movie and show them in the context of the film

Let me preface this by stating that I am an unrepentant Transformers G1 fan. I still have all of my original 1984-1987 toys in storage, including my 2nd Optimus Prime (I still haven't forgiven my brother and cousin for playing with my original in the sand where they were laying the foundation for a room addition and leaving it buried right before they laid the cement). I own all of the cartoons on VHS and have bought all of the US DVDs. I'm planning on ordering the Japanese only Headmaster Series soon. I also have the complete run of Marvel comics. With that said, I'll begin my review of the second of Michael Bay's "epic" series of movies based on this beloved franchise.

We start off with a voiceover of Optimus Prime and a shot of humans circa 17,000 BC and their meeting of the Transformers. Mr. Bay has said that he didn't have a part in the movies where he could use the Dinobots and make it realistic. I'm not saying that dinosaurs lived among man, but I think the audience would overlook it just to be able to see them and this would make a perfect spot. Besides, why is he so adamant about realism? It's a movie about giant sentient alien robots, not a biography of Queen Elizabeth.

So then after the usual Michael Bay in your face credits, we have our first (of many) looks at the military and how they are working with the Autobots to destroy the loast of the Decepticons on earth. They find a non descript Decepticon (because of the robot designs, all but about eight are pretty much impossible to tell apart) who reveals to them and us that the "Fallen" will rise again.

Then we cut to Sam from the first movie. He's off to college and his mom has a hard time of it, his dad is happy, Mikaela is poor but sexy. Pretty much the same as the first movie. If that's not bad enough, we get about fifteen minutes of this "comedy gold", oh and Sam finds a piece of the Allspark in a shirt that he wasn't wearing when he had it at the end of the first movie (but that isn't mentioned). Remember in the first movie when they used it to bring the cell phone to life? Imagine that with kitchen equipment and you have the next ten minutes.

Sam gets to colloege and meets his roomates. Three guys that are pretty much the Lone Gunmen from the X Files mixed with the Three Stooges and then nerded up. They run a conspiracy website and bring up the events of the first movie, which Sam quickly says he doesn't believe and wasn't there.

Yeah, so then....

You know what, this movie sucked so hard, it isn't worth typing about.

Did you think the first movie had too much plot? If so, this one is for you.

Do you want to see a movie about giant alien robots, but have 90% of the robots smaller than a medium size dog? Then this is for you.

This movie didn't fix anything that was wrong with the first. The battle scenes were to close in so you couldn't see what was happening. They had the Deus Machina to solve it all at the end. The "Fallen" was on screen for less than ten minutes combined (Venom had more screen time in Spider-Man 3 and maybe in The Dark Knight, honestly). There were more plot holes than holes in a collander. And since they couldn't reuse the "guy wanting the girl out of his league" plot again, they filled it with countless reminders that Sam still hasn't told Mikaela he loves her.

I honestly felt ripped off after seeing this film. I haven't felt this much disdain for a sequel since Blues Brothers 2000 and even that had an excuse in that John Belushi was dead and couldn't be in it.

For the love of all that is holy, don't see this movie. Show them that we deserve better than Michael Bay gives us. Save your money for something like GI Joe. I mean how bad can it be? It's directed by the guy who brought us The Mummy and Van Helsing.

Oh crap.........
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Jacob Nobles
United States
Hackett
Arkansas
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I guess i should have went to see the movie first. laugh. I will still go see the movie and hope that I am not yawning. My son went to see it and liked it a lot. We will see

P.S. Chris shoot me a msg sometime
 
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the one and only
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Nettetal - Kaldenkirchen
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ssgnobles wrote:
I will still go see the movie and hope that I am not yawning.

Honestly, you will loose that battle. Happened to me tonight.
 
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